Frank,
We did the Big Island (Hualalai), Lanai (Lodge, but played golf at both Manele and Koele) and Maui (Four Seasons, played Wailea Gold and the Plantation). It was a wonderful trip (and my wife let us stop at Pebble Beach on the way back east, which was the perfect exclamation point on the honeymoon- stayed at Casa Palmero and got to play Spyglass and Pebble for the first time).
Anyway, I would recommend either Hualalai or Lanai. To me, neither would be worth going to for the golf alone, but I found the Hualalai Nicklaus course to be enjoyable, with some fun holes, especially in the wind (we were there in late august). Hualalai is a great resort overall, and we had a great time there. However, Lanai was my favorite stop in Hawaii. We stayed at the Lodge, which was a lovely change of pace and really created variety in our itinerary. Especially if you're staying at the Four Seasons on Maui, which we thought was great, but was more like staying at the Four Seasons on Doheny in Bev Hills with an amazing pool/beach, the Lodge is a complete changeup (we were there before the Four Seasons took over management, so I don't know how much it's improved, but it was great anyway). Very relaxing, great restaurant (need a sport jacket), entertaining golf if not a bit gimmicky in spots, sporting clays, horseback riding, the beach at manele, the visually spectacular manele golf course and just a very nice down-home feel overall (be sure to try henry clay's rotisserie).
From a golf standpoint, I was completely blown away by the Plantation course, and we've gone back to Maui since then just to spend time at Kapalua and play the Plantation each day of the trip. There's something about the scale of that course that really fits my eye and I just love all of the shots you can hit on that course to find your way around. The rest of the courses we played in Hawaii were good, but more due to setting than architecture.
Regardless, you're going to have a great time no matter where you choose to go, but I'd vote for Lanai, it's just provides a great feeling of isolation and doesn't feel commercial, while still having a ton of things to do.