There are two hot topic emails received in the past week on the international global world campus of GolfClubAtlas.com. The first is: How hard was it to teach Tiger that flop shot? And second, how did the Bubba Open go?
Front of Scorecard- Bright Lights, Small Town
Back of Scorecard Contested on May 26th on the property of a historic estate, this five hole, par 23, 248 yards whiffle ball course was hailed as an instant classic, mostly by me the architect. I didn’t have a budget so I didn’t exceed it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a pith helmet to don during the ~twelve minute routing process. I did find a wool blanket which I used as a cape but it was scratchy and uncomfortable in the 90f heat. The only dirt moved was in the creation of the cups and making room for the bamboo flagsticks. Apart from the Bubba juice laced with moonshine, here is what was going through my giant brain as I routed what some consider to be the Pine Valley Short Course of the South:
1st hole: Need to get play away smoothly as many of the contestants don’t play golf. Thus, the hole was entirely open from tee to green. The land was pitched left to right so best come in from the right for an uphill chip/putt for birdie.
2nd hole: The signature hole
, I dare say, as it featured a pine tree in the middle which masterfully created a spilt fairway 20 yards from the tee. Risk reward options abounded! The green was tucked over to the right, thus giving it a right to left tilt in contrast to the 1st green.
Played downhill, the full glories of the property were realized. 
On the high side to the right of the green was a formidable array of pine cones and pine straw. Very Royal Ashdown Forest, if you ask me. Only later did several of us realize ticks were also part of the challenge from this unkempt, natural hazard. 3rd hole: At the bottom of the property, the question became how to get back up the hill without feeling the need for Tenzing Norgay. Hence, the idea of a dogleg popped into my cranium and so the fairway was swung gracefully to the right around a magnolia tree. The golfer was never discouraged as he was never visually presented with a dreary long slog uphill. Tucked into an alcove of trees, the green was particularly well defended. However, as nothing could grow under the branches, the dirt putting surface acted as the truest putting surface on the course. Consequently, the hole played the most under par among the 24 contestants.
Devilish to get to but once on the third green, putts and chips were made from as far away as seven feet. 4th hole: No better way to balance out the left to right swings of the prior two holes than with one that goes the other way (i.e. right to left), which is what I did here. Those that tried to cheat the integrity of the dogleg found that the holly trees presented quite a prickly problem.
5th hole: A Kanonkop hole if ever there was one! Played uphill, the tee shot had to be launched up and over a back brick wall that measured nearly five feet. The green was up above in the garden sitting area and the Great Gatsby style house provided a magnificent backdrop. The host for the Bubba Open insisted that a broken John Deere tractor be parked in front of the brink wall in keeping with the theme of the event. Indeed, if anyone had holed out in 1, he or she would have won the non-working tractor.
Taken a week after the event, a dance floor had been set up for a black tie fundraiser on what had been my Home green . Despite the good cause, some consider this one of the most most outrageous acts ever perpetrated against a Master Architect. Now I know how dead architects like Thomas and MacKenzie would feel if they saw their mutilated work today. As the alcohol kicked into a higher, more spiritual level on the eve after the Bubba Open, my eyes misted up a bit as I gazed from the Kanonkop green down across the nearly 2 acres, thinking: God intended this to be a par 23 whiffle ball course!
Uninvited, Gary Player was unsurprisingly not in attendance. However, if he was, he would have no doubt twitted that “The Broadhearth Course is the finest course of its type that I have ever seen!’ Fazio would have thought more earth should have been moved. Doak would have thought the greens lacked interior movement, despite no doubt appreciating their low profile nature and Garden City-like tilts. Rees would have added some mounds off to the sides. Bill Coore would have wanted another 100 acres before ultimately declining the project. Rod Whitman would have said nothing but disappeared onto the 2 acres for a few days, living on beer and berries. Other architects would have proposed wedging in condos in the gap between 2 and 3/4/5 making it a win-win (i.e. both the developer AND his wife would make plenty of money). Raters have started to call, looking for free golf.
As it was, great fun was had by all.
Thank you for playing.
Cheers,
P.S. The girls from the (secret) Society of Bridget organized this event and graciously scheduled it both well past the Masters and well before the US Open as they didn’t want it to overshadow either. ESPN obliged in not letting the media over hype it and stayed away. As the girls dressed in Daisy Dukes and as the guys dressed like Bubba on Masters Sunday, this should put to rest Bill McBride’s outlandish claims that I have an aversion to rednecks. The can of redneck repellent underneath my Adirondack chair is strictly there under doctor’s orders, nothing more, nothing less.