About six years ago I played TOC with a longtime friend from the North of England. We had an amazing 9am tee time, just behind a twosome from the US. Two blokes who dressed the part, but were lacking golf skills and nerves...apparently. The first was so nervous that he whiffed the first swing. Quickly re-loaded and hook-winked one that bounced off a car and ricocheted into the edge of the 18th fairway. He walked back to his caddie and held his head rather low. His friend tees the ball and took two very deliberate practice swings. Sort of PGA-ish swipes that made him look really cool. He proceeded to launch a toe-ed shot way off to the common grounds to the right, nearly missing a man and his dog and a family taking photos with he sea as the backdrop. He also reloaded and punched a driver about 135 yards, this time also a toe-ed shot but somehow managing to find the far right edge of the grass near the white fence.
They stormed off, hoping the webcam was not working. My friend and I stood stoic, knowing that we were next. The starter came over and placed his arm around both of us — "Lads, I might have to have you take them some Valium if they don't calm down..."
This story has been the subject of many recounts and, to date, accompanied by several bottles of good red wine.