[Marty Bonnar]

Ronald,
I forget where you said you come from, but please point us in the general direction  of any of your nation's finest comedic performers thus that we may be better enlightened as to what you and your countrymen find amusing.
cheers,
FBD.

BTW, the above production is known as 'irony' here in the UK. Ehthenkyoo!

[Dan Kelly]

So far, I'm right.

No one has told an unfunny banana story!

[Marty Bonnar]

Brerdan,
a tragic banana story...

http://www.amazon.com/Tragic-Banana/dp/B000QP0NT2

Ah, the wonders of the great big interweb....

cheers,
Effers.

[Ronald Montesano]

Bonnar, I come from the land of the Iroquois, the five nations, where chicken wings are revered like cows in India.  I cannot speak for my people, nor can I speak for the chicken wings, but I can affirm that my personal tastes in humor run the gamut from Henny Youngman and Rich Little through Monty Python, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy and 1970s SNL to Family Guy, The Simpsons, and American Dad.  I am a deli of English-language laughter, a 40-something chuckler and guffawer.  Irony and coincidence are my bookends, although I'd be somewhat surprised that a caddie of any patronage would stoop so high as to try irony as early as the fourth hole!  Had he gathered that much fodder already that he could risk the ironic twist of tongue?  Doubtful.

[Charlie Goerges]

Brerdan,
a tragic banana story...

http://www.amazon.com/Tragic-Banana/dp/B000QP0NT2

Ah, the wonders of the great big interweb....

cheers,
Effers.

Marty, just the words "Tragic Banana" are funny.

[Matt_Ward]

Dan K:

Whether I saw them recently or from years ago it's just humor to post.

[Patrick Kiser]

O.B.  Humor:




Big Boy Tees Humor:

[TEPaul]

"Perhaps the best all time caddy comment was from Pine Valley a few years back. But I'm not sure it is totally PC."




Pat Craig:

Maybe you aren't sure it is totally PC but I agree with Dan Kelly and I don't care whether it is or not. Rocky said it and I'm gonna tell it---not that I haven't already on here;

Rocky was out with two Japanese gentlemen (Can I or anyone else help it if Rocky referred to them as Japs? ).

One was a big strong Japanese gentleman and the other one was a small short hitting Japanese gentleman.

On one hole one of them asked Rocky what he had into the green and so Rocky handed him a 5 iron. The Japanese gentleman hit it pure and it flew about 30 yards over the green. The Japanese gentleman looked at Rocky angrily and said;

"Roukee, what was that?"

Rocky said:

"Opps, sorry, right club, wrong Jap."

[TEPaul]

Personally, I'm partial to what Sam Snead said to the grand-dame Mrs Grace on the 9th hole at Piping Rock in a tournament when in frustration she asked Snead for advice:

"Take two weeks off and they quit."

Apparently that got Snead banned from Piping Rock for all time to come. 

[TEPaul]

Honestly guys, if you've never been to Pine Valley before and you get the chance, generally that first round will be memorable for you anyway---but...BUT, if you get REALLY lucky and get Rocky as a caddie---well, then, you'll probably have something to tell your grandchildren.

Just ask Brian Phillips who used to be on here but not so much any more. He got lucky and got Rocky his one and only time down there and it sure sounded like it was life-memorable to him.

I've had Rocky over the years but nothing all that memorable happened except one time. It was even before we teed off. We were hanging around the first tee next to the tree with the circular table around it where they lean the clubs. I got talking to Rocky and he mentioned he was a good friend of Donald Trump.

I said:
"You're a friend of that scumbag?

Rocky:
"Yeah, he's a good friend of mine."

I said:
"Well, then Rocky you must be a scumbag too."

Rocky said:
"You little elitist clubby, nobody talks to me or about a friend of mine like that" and since I had my 1 iron in my hand he took out my driver and we both proceeded to duel with each other until I parried my driver out of his hand and then we proceeded to wrestle around in the dirt for a few moments until someone like John Ott yelled; "Hey, we're on the tee."

Well, that was the end of that and Rocky carried John's and my bag and I hit a good tee shot off #1 and played pretty damn well but Rocky was kinda glum and didn't say anything funny for the rest of the round so when it was over I stiffed him for about half the regular caddie fee.

We were friends before and we were friends after and that's just the way it is....Pfflaaawph (that's a fart, BTW).

[Mike_Cirba]

Anyone who had the misfortune of watching me play golf back when I had the "chip yips" really badly (ask Patrick Mucci) probably will chuckle at this story.

I had Rocky as my caddie at PV, and Rocky calls everyone "Pro".

It's a double-edged sword and it certainly cut both ways that day as I hit some fine shots and some not so fine ones, and there's just a subtle hint of change of tone in Rocky's voice between "Nice shot, Pro", and "That's a shame, Pro".

In any case, by the 16th hole my short-game nerves were about completely frazzled, and I believe I played a bit of pong around the prior green, but overall I figured that I probably had gotten away most of the day without a complete embarrassment of short-game-shame.

After a decent drive a bit too far left, my somewhat timid approach ended up about 15 yards short of the front of the green, and the flagstick was towards the back.

Rocky set the bag down, and without hesitation I grabbed my putter.

Briskly walking away, I heard Rocky say, "I like that club, Pro.....I've seen your chipping action."

[Art Roselle]

True story

In Scotland, a friend of mine has left several putts short and was getting increasingly frustrated.  After another weak putt, he mutters "I'm gonna throw this f#%ing putter into the ocean."  Caddy says, "Go ahead, lad.  You'll probably leave it short."

[Jim Nugent]

When a caddie says "we" he means he and the player.

In George Plimpton's book, "The Bogeyman," he tells how when the golfer is playing well, the caddies usually use "we".  When the golfer is playing poorly, the caddies often use "he". 

Sometimes they change in mid-sentence:

"We were sitting right in the middle of the fairway, and what does he do but dump his next shot in the trap."   

[Matt_Ward]

Jim N:

Well said ...

The caddy's often say they following ..

WE WON ...

or

He (the player) missed the putt

[Marty Bonnar]

Bonnar,

Straight to surname status, eh? Ooooooooooo......well, I'm not going to stoop to your level (mostly cos your surinam is way too difficult to type).
That's you added to my PWPMOT list.

luv,n,peas,
effers.

[Dan Kelly]

Rocky set the bag down, and without hesitation I grabbed my putter.

Briskly walking away, I heard Rocky say, "I like that club, Pro.....I've seen your chipping action."

Laugh of the Day. Thanks.

[Mike_Cirba]

Rocky set the bag down, and without hesitation I grabbed my putter.

Briskly walking away, I heard Rocky say, "I like that club, Pro.....I've seen your chipping action."

Laugh of the Day. Thanks.

Dan,

Patrick Mucci witnessed my game the year I bought my 60-degree Beryllium Copper Cleveland wedge.

I tell folks that I loved that club so much that year I used it for 85% of my shots!   

[Karl Bernetich]

Ready to settle up at the end of a frustrating round. 
Golfer:  What do I owe you ?
Caddy:  An apology

[Doug Ralston]

At 100yd out, Doug approached his 5th shot with trepidation. "Caddy, what will I need to get on from here?" Three wedges"

[Doug Wright]

3 from my first trip to Scotland 1990:

Our first round in Scotland (at Carnoustie, a great place to play jet-lagged...). One of my partners is struggling all day. On about the 11th he tops his tee shot about 50 yards and his caddy says, "Very strategic sir!"

Same struggling player, this time at N. Berwick. He somehow makes birdie on 17 and the caddy says, "Aye lad you'll want to stuff and mount that one."

Finally at Turnberry we're playing the par 5 17th into a brutal wind. After his drive the caddy hands the same guy his 3 wood and says "You'll want to keep hitting that till I tell you to stop."

[JohnV]

My favorite Rocky story. 

He is caddying for a player one day and they get to #14 at PV. 
Rocky hands him a 5-iron. 
The player says, "Give me my 7". 
Rocky says, "You can't get over the water with that, the 5 is the club". 
Player says, "I know I can get there with the 7" and grabs it from the bag.

He tees up the ball and as he's about to take the club back, Rocky leans over by the ball and says, "Take a deep breath."

[JMEvensky]

Is Rocky the caddie who said "right club,wrong Jap"?

[Joel Zuckerman]

The most clever line I ever hear from a caddy:

Playing at Troon, on in regulation on the first several holes, but putted the 15 footer on #1 about 12 feet, maybe had 10 feet on #2, and only hit the putt 7 feet, etc.

I have another pretty close look on the third, and the typical line one might expect to hear would be, "never up, never in," OR--"90% of putts that don't make it to the hole don't go in"...the usual drivel.

Instead the caddie looks at me, and says, "you know, Joel--I can read them coming BACK too!"

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