[TEPaul]

"You should have seen the night that breaker burned to the ground...some kid reportedly sent a flaming arrow into it one night."

Yeah Right! Nice excuse, Cirba. It sounds just about like what I told the police one time when I was a kid after me and a friend burned down an entire block of apartment buildings in Daytona Beach while we were playing with matches in a small hayfield next to them.

Police:
"Did you kids see what happened here?" 

Me and my friend:
"Yes, officers, we saw some kid send a flaming arrow right into the hay field that used to be next to those apartment buildings that used to be there about an hour ago."

[Charlie Goerges]

David, Peter, George, and Ray (and others I am sure I am missing)...Pass. Golf would survive your ombudsmanship.

RJ, I shudder to think what golf would look like today given your seriously weird sense of humor  .

[TEPaul]

HOUSTON, We have a problem!

I've been very encouraged by your cards and letters and posts. At first I was kidding but you guys got me into it for next year.

The problem is, technically that ten acre field belongs to me sister even though I've always considered that to be nothing more than a trivial deed-kind-of-thing. I told her I was going to design a golf course on it and she said---"No Way Jose!"

You see, my sister is basically an ultra naturalist and she wants birds to nest in that field so she's decided to only cut it once a year.

Do not lose heart though. I HAVE A PLAN and I'll need your help, OK? I want you to all come out here next spring and together we will commit total genocide on every damn bird in Willistown Township! We will burn down all their neighborhoods, all their upscale homes, all their apartments, all their shopping malls and restaurants, everything. I don't want an avian trace left in the vicinity! If we go about it correctly it shouldn't be much of a problem. I was in the US Marine Corps and I watched the Recon Marines at work. I'll make the plan and you help me carry it out. I want you all dressed in about the same basic uniform Bill Murray had on in Caddie Shack (by the way there are at least a dozen ground hog holes in that field). That's not asking too much, is it?

[Charlie Goerges]

NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! How could she?!?!?!?

[RJ_Daley]

I'm with your sister.  Bluebirds need that 10 acres more than you need another place to whack it.

Here is a little ditty to listen to while drinking way your pain at the loss of the 10 acre field of dreams. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4mlUaCW_L8

or, maybe more inline with our era... 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4UFQwCXxRQ

[Jason Topp]

Tom:

There is a web site dedicated to this:

http://www.pasturegolf.com/

[TEPaul]

I'm with you RJ---the birds win!

Too bad though, yesterday I designed about half of it. It coulda had about six greens and could've played about 18 ways. Actually it's 13 acres.

[Anthony Gray]

  TE Paul,

  The most amazing thing I find about this question is that after over 33,000 posts you still have a farm.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!! My advice would be to play your local course and enjoy your friends there. A course at your farm would require too much work to mantian.

           Anthony

[Tim_Cronin]

Tom: Start mowing, put up a bird feeder, and tell your sister she can play for free.

[David_Elvins]

Tom Paul,

After you build it, will you play it or just be happy to walk it?

[Gary_K]

I posted this a couple of years ago.  It's from the book titled 'The Golfer's Home Companion'.  I don't know if it will fit on your 10 acres, but it is fun to look at.

Layout of the McAlister 2-Hole Ranch & Country Club

[TEPaul]

Tim Cronin:

There must be two dozen bird feeders on this place. The birds here are treated better and with more respect than I am! But at least I still feel superior to the groundhogs.

[George Pazin]

Thanks for posting that, Gary - I wanted to but my copy of that book is currently on loan to a friend. I thought it was one of the most chapters in the book.

[Steve Lang]

  TEP,

As you formulate plans, put me down for sniper duty.. I'll bring my Crossman pellet gun..

By the way, does your sister understand that the underbrush is great habitat for snakes and many other critters that love to eat birds and bird eggs?

[RJ_Daley]

The only dangerous and predatory snakes in Philly are the two legged kind with law degrees... but they are for the birds, so they got that going for them.... 

[David Stamm]

I would hate to make that walk from 2 to 3 and 5 to 6.

[TEPaul]

"By the way, does your sister understand that the underbrush is great habitat for snakes and many other critters that love to eat birds and bird eggs?"

Steve:

Sure she does but why mess with the balance of Nature? It's been going on for a very long time. We also have one of the most sophisticated conservation organizations you've ever seen right here in this township (it's right down the street on the place of my new neighbor, M. Night Shymalan). This farm was actually the first that went into it and into a Federal conservation easement over thirty years ago.

I mow that field anyway but not more than twice a year these days. If I put a golf course on it with basically grass hazard areas it would just be a matter of mowing SOME of it a whole lot more often like once a week at least with a tractor and green areas with a lawn mower. I wouldn't exactly be trying to compete with Merion's Matt Shaeffer or anything with conditioning.

I would also go back to the Rules of Golf of the 18th century where one must tee off no more than six club lengths from the previous cup and stymies would always be in effect, as you would only be able to touch your ball when you put it in play on the tee and you would not be able to touch it for any reason at all until you removed it from the hole.

My annual maintenance cost would be no more than the annual cost of diesal fuel. If I want to redesign it would all be done simply by mowing.

[Steve Lang]

  Are you near Blue Bell?

[TEPaul]

I'm on the other side of the river in Willistown Township just outside Newtown Square. White Manor GC is about a half mile down the road and Aronimink GC is about 3-4 miles down another street.

This is an amazing township here. The township may be something like 15,000 acres and this incredible conservation organization has over 5,000 acres under Federal conservation easement (basically no building, ever). The field is basically a little more than 125 yards wide (at the narrowest) and probably 450-550 yards long.

[Kyle Harris]

Let's do this Tom.

I envision your first tee right on your stoop, with a hole running diagonal and away from the driveway. You'd have to move the Volvo, but the Mini is probably small enough to hit over. From there we could wedge a Par 3 along Marlborough Road a la the 10th at Whitemarsh and have a skyline with your driveway.

From there, a long par 5 between your barn and your sister's house with a green somewhere down the hill. Options to play between, or around the buildings abound.

Okay, maybe not, but in all seriousness I'd love to route something on your property some time. 

[Willie_Dow]

Tom

Take a look at the Toomey & Flynn layout of the Golf Course on the estate of Mr. Robert K Cassatt.  I think it would fit into your yard !

Willie

[John Moore II]

I would certainly put in a little golf course looking facility in that land. I have thought if doing the same myself if I had the property to do it.

[TEPaul]

Kyle:

Your description of the first or second hole is actually another field of about four acres along the driveway that I've had my faced shaped for a practice range for a few years. That one I don't need to deal with birds and such or my ultra conservationist, unreconstructed hippie sister because the deed to that field is in my name and not hers!

This morning when it was 19 degrees out I saw her walking by the barn/office with her dog out for a long walk and even though she couldn't see me in here I watched her turn towards the barn and scream; "NO GOLF COURSE!!"  

[Norbert P]

Intriguing.  Birds can benefit from a well-planned and researched golf facility. I'm more worried about your heavy horses.

[Rich Goodale]

The field is basically a little more than 125 yards wide (at the narrowest) and probably 450-550 yards long.

Tom

Knowing your game (and a little bit about the land) I think you can get 18 holes on that sucker.  All you need are 5-15 yard wide fairways with Firestone type/up and back, up and back.... routing and you've got a par 70 ~6000 yard course.  Just put OOB stakes between all the holes, stimp the greens at 13 and you could probably beat any player in the world on that track.

Rich

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