"But the new dwarfs strike me as so good, have the tables turned? Mightn't it make sense for more northern courses to go to the new dwarfs given that they need less water, can be kept firmer and are just as fast and smooth as bent?"
Bob:
No, no, NO! Don't you dare suggest such a thing. Bad, Bad, BAD. CaCaCaCaCa! That's like telling the North that Jefferson Davis should run for the presidency.
Our new bents like the "A" strain etc lilililikes dryness too. Liiiikes dryness very much. Firm, firm, Firm.
No, no, no bermuda up north, ultra dwarf or any other bermuda. Bad, Bad, Bad---like trying to put water hyacinth in the Hudson River. Would be considered a Southern conspiracy and might start a new Civil War------bad, bad, bad, CaCaCaCa!
By the way, Bob, if Barack wins I'm going to set up a new-age Carpetbagger franchiser. Would you like to be one of the first Atlanta franchisees? Among other things we're going to force the South to go to bent. You can have that division. You'll make a fortune as all the Georgia courses will have to replant every year.