I thought a lot about this thread over the weekend. It saddens me to see Tommy and Donnie Beck frustrated.
There's no easy solution to the problem at hand, or even necessarily a concrete understanding that there is a problem.
The "grillroom" atmosphere does wonders for improving the community like atmosphere on here, and even does a good job of helping others maintain civility on On Topic, architecture threads. Who can deny that they're less likely to attack someone, if they've shown themselves to be a friend on another thread?
On the other hand, it is very frustrating to start actual architecture thread and see them spiral down the page, and off into oblivion, with nary a response. I've started more than a few of those myself. Sometimes I look at them and realize, in retrospect, they were boring and got the fate they deserved. But sometimes they simply got lost in the sea of posts on here, and I think maybe we missed an opportunity to learn something.
So there's a line to be drawn somewhere, and I'm not at all certain where that line should be. But I am certain we all need a kick in the butt every now and then, and it's unfortunate that Tommy is the one that needs to do it (Patrick does it every now and then as well, hats off to them both for taking the heat).
I suspect Tommy - and whomever else has a problem with OT threads and posts - would be more tolerant and accepting of them if the many participants did their share of starting and responding to actual architecture threads. I know I post a good bit on OT threads, but Tommy, someone I consider a good friend, has never said a word to me about it, and I suspect it's because I also make a real effort to add to the architecture discussion (even if Matt W doesn't think I add anything meaningful
.
Let your conscience be your guide.
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The access issue is an entirely different one. I've spoken with posters who say, after sharing thoughts on some great course, they were inundated with requests from others who wanted to know how they got on. It wouldn't even occur to me to ask someone something like that.
As someone who has received numerous invitations (even from Barney!), I thank those generous enough to share both their courses and their passion with me.
In the end, it comes down mostly to trust. If someone shows that his passion is architecture and not simply list checking, the invites will come, and even the occasional inquiry will likely be well tolerated, if handled properly. Everyone should know how to do that by now.
Again, let your conscience be your guide.
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Lastly, I don't think it's proper to call out Tommy - or any moderator - in public for his role in the thankless duty of moderating. That is certainly something best discussed in private, as are virtually all issues with the administration side of the site.
And don't bother the moderators with whining about other posters!