One thing that most posters here forget about is access.
From a Dollars and Cents perspective, NAF will never get his greens fees amortized to $100 a round. Thus, the $21,000 he would spend on his NJ club could conceivably cover 4 Great golf trips: Bandon/Sand Hills/England and a winter trip to a sunny resort while the permafrost makes golf in the NYC Metro Area a snowplower's delight. Now try to get that much vacation time. Also, weekends are just not the same without golf.
That said, consider the other options. Public Golf in CT is scarce & quality poor (Richter Park nonwithstanding), and a downer when compared to the prior life that NAF has enjoyed.
He could resign his architectuarlly significant club and attempt to join one a less significant design in SW CT where the average entry fee is $100K plus an 8-9 year wait for full golfing privileges (Assuming that he is willing to find a sponsor and six other co-conspiratory letter writers - a 3 year process unto itself).
What NAF really wants is to be able to tee it up on Sat. & Sun. with his boys, as well as being able to get out during the long summer evenings.
It goes back to what Sam Kinneson said about the Eithopians: "Move to where the food is!" That said, convincing the wife and the newly arrived inheritor to move closer to your club at this point is the challenge. Bribery works. Begging won't.
If you give up upon your club, you will probably regret it. Besides, could you live on just trips to Deal?
JWK