Time seems to inexorably and exponentially accelerate - and with it, the inevitable obsolescence of not only (read: what is left of) my golf skills, but the beautifully crafted implements that adorned my office.
I'll go out on a limb and assert I've got a peerless collection of persimmon clubs - most (but not all) handmade Orlimar beauties, all meticulously waxed to a spitshine that would put military dress shoes to shame.
I was blessed to spend quite a bit of time with Lou Ortiz at the factory - and have dozens of his pristine works of art, along with sets of Tommy Armour, Helen Hicks and about every sexy persimmon-headed club made since the 1950s.
Does ANYBODY even attempt to play persimmon anymore? I'm hardly an expert, but it seems the new golf balls drop out of the sky when hit with "wood woods." My theory is that either the modern ball does not spin enough off the tee to get any air under it - or my bat speed has degenerated to the point of being more erratic and slower than a Niekro knuckleball.
I cannot bring myself to toss the collection, so what happens to impossibly beautiful persimmon woods in an era of howitzer launching, oversized, garish, hideous metallic monstrosities - designed to launch a porcelain superball into the ionosphere?
No no no, I am not going to saw off the heads or display a quaint rack of clubs above the fireplace. There is a lot of spiritual power in those bats; gorgeous old cars and golf clubs with screws are meant to be driven, not looked at in a museum.
The Senior Table in the Treehouse is getting mighty crowded, so what do the rest of us - in the throes of codgerous dotage - do with all our wooden reminders of "When Golf Was Good?"
Is there a golf ball made anymore, soft enough to spin off a real golf club? Am I actually hallucinating about the modern ball?
There literally have to be several million wooden sticks floating around America and Britain, so what becomes of them? There is nothing quite satisfying as catching a shot "right on the screws" . . . . . maybe revive the KP, except with wood woods?
Perhaps I am just mumbling out loud (again), but what is to become of these noble implements from a "more civilized age?"