[Mike Wagner]

Rick,

At what age do kids start thinking for themselves?  Making their own decisions?  No parent is perfect.  You "blame" her father for her saying she wants to play in the Masters.  I don't get it.  Do you similarly "blame" him (and Sean O'hair's dad) for her (them) being in the top .0000001% of all golfers?

I think i get your point, that this approach doesn't work for everyone (am I correct in assuming this?).  I wouldn't raise my non-existent kids that way either-  not my personality.

Now that you've mentioned you work with kids, how was it that difficult to know what to do about some kids talking on the driving range?  I'm more worried about what to do with the majority of adults.  You can TEACH kids how to act properly.

[Rick Sides]

George,
 I agree with you- it's not always the case but sometimes.  The media loves to take a few cases and blow it out of proportion.  Unfortunately, since I work a lot with kids coaching, I have witnessed first hand some parents push talented kids into quitting a sport because of pressure, but most kids have a lot of fun and the parents are great.  As I mentioned in another post, that some others got offended and for some reason made one man's blood boil, kids need golf and other good outlets.  There is this 16 year old kid at my golf  club  that is always there hitting balls and chipping.  I talked to him the other day and he said to me, 80% of kids at my high school do drugs, this is my drug.  I loved that statement.  How great was it this kid found something fun and his parents are never there telling him what to do or not to do.  He just has fun; that;s the way it should be!

[Rick Sides]

Mike,
Perhaps I should have clarified about the driving range.  People should go to the driving range and golf course to have fun.  Kids will be kids and I know that.  I just asked the question to get advice from the group as to what they would do.  95% of the kids at my golf club are awesome.  There is just a few kids who act what I would say would be too loud and distracting to others.  I am not big on stepping and correcting people because that's not my role or personality.  I just wanted to know form guys that have been members at clubs what is the protocal.

[Craig Van Egmond]

No offense but if we must talk about women golfers then my vote is for Maria!

http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/blog/devil_ball_golf/post/Maria-Verchenova-wants-to-be-Sharapova-except-w?urn=golf,163425

[Kalen Braley]

In order to find some middle ground here I think its important to qualify what Rick is saying because in concept I agree with him.

I understand its important to let your kids have dreams, goals, aspirations...I'm all for it.  I'm all for encouraging your kids to become the best at what they want to be and totally supporting them.

But, its also a vital parental role to teach your kids about practicalities and the realities of life.  We can't all be professional golfers, or CEO's of Microsoft, those are just the basic facts.  And I think you are doing your kids a diservice by not grounding them and/or constantly keeping thier heads in the clouds.  Its good to remember, your kid will still have plenty of opportunties to show thier talent and thier stuff, without you teaching them to stop at nothing. And if they dominate in junior leagues, by all means provide them every opporunity to grow. I knew very early on I wasn't going to be an NBA player or Rocket Scientist and accounted for such in my career aspirations.

The other component to this is for pete's sakes let them be kids.. It doesn't have to be non-stop doing one thing over and over.  Yes Tiger is what he is because of this, but how many other thousands of kids out there have runined/strained relationships with thier parents because they wanted thier Little Johhny to be just like Tiger too!!

[Richard Choi]

Richard,
I work with kids everyday.  So using your logic, (you wanted to be president of Microsoft one day) if your parents locked you in a room as a child and made you study business reports and market strategies, and had a financial consultant tutor you at the age of 12, then this is the same thing sports parents do to children.  Now I'm not going to tell you that some kids would not love learning how to become Microsoft president, but when parents push so hard that the child's identity is lost, that's a problem. I wish the people on the forum would understand, I think kids are awesome and should dream big, but I personally have witnessed children hate what they once loved because their parents pushed them too hard.

Rick, you are losing me more and more.

Who is talking about locking kids in a room?

You stated that Michelle Wie wanting to play in Masters before winning any LPGA event is an example of bad parenting by Mr and Mrs Wie. How you are jumping from Michelle's statement to locking kids in a room is beyond me.

I will ask you again, why is Michelle wanting to play in Masters is her parents' fault? And why is that even a fault?

[Michael Blake]

I remember reading about Andre Agassi's dad taping a miniature ping pong paddle to his hand when Andre was still in a crib, so he could 'hit' objects hanging from the mobile above for 'hand-eye coordination.'  Talk about crazy.

Anyway, Rick do you think there is a difference between parents who 'push' their kids that have OBVIOUS talent (Tiger, Wie, O'Hair, Capriotti....) and parents who push kids who probably have only an interest but no real talent?

Pretty tough for me to sit here and judge parenting skills of people who've tried to develop the incredible natural talent of their kids.  There's no instruction manual. Don't know how I'd handle it if any of my kids had THAT kind of natural ability.

I'm rooting for her.  It was pretty damn exciting when she had 6 top 5's in Majors in 3 years, with 3 in one year.

[Garland Bayley]

Nice speech Kalen, but what's it got to do with Michelle Wie and the Masters?

[Kalen Braley]

Nice speech Kalen, but what's it got to do with Michelle Wie and the Masters?

Nada as I didn't discuss Michelle Wie and the Masters.

But seeing how its off-topic, I thought i would chime in with all you boys piling on Rick!! 

[Rob Rigg]

Why is this thread on the site?

It has nothing even remotely to do with GCA.

Even if you care about this topic, it is totally out of place - and not even marked as OT? This is garbage.

[Garland Bayley]

...This is garbage.

You are exactly right. To publicly criticize a parent based on lies and hearsay would be garbage on a child psychology website also.

[Rick Sides]

Thanks for the help Kalen
I will end my post about Michelle Wie because Rob Rigg has said this is garbage and I guess someone made him boss because nobody here ever gets off topic about things!

[Rob Rigg]

Rick,

If this is the crap you want to post then it is up to you - I was merely pointing out that this is a garbage topic, which it is, for many reasons, and you did not even have the decency to call it out as "OT" or "Garbage OT" which would be more appropriate.

Maybe there is a child psych site you can take your theories too?

[Rick Sides]

Thanks for the advice Rob. Sorry you got so mad.  I just thought talking about golf was part of the Golf Club Atlas.

[Craig Sweet]

This is the EXACT quote from the NY Times....

"She still wants to play against men. The Masters? “That’s definitely one of my goals.” Winning a PGA tournament? “That’s definitely part of my goals. You set your goals high.”"

I have to ask...is it wrong to encourage our children to set high goals?  If we were talking about 19 year old MICHAEL Wie, would you be so critical?   

I wonder what John Glenn would have told a young girl back in 1962 that expressed a desire to be an astronaut someday?

 

[Chris DeNigris]

Man- she's nine freaking teen...

Who here wouldn't trade spots with her in a nanosecond?

CMD

[Lyne Morrison]

Rick -

I would like to hope that the angle you are coming from is drawn from a concern that Michelle Wie’s personal development best reflects her own desires and choices. But isn’t it up to her to choose her role models and explore her choices? In time she will find her way.

I would also like to hope that your concern with her Augusta aspirations are perhaps an activity that others may want – perhaps more than she. But really, it is none of our business.

However, of concern to me are the general assumptions you make in your initial post. In particular I find your suggestion that this young adult with lofty goals may be ‘delusional’, to be disrespectful to say the least.

From a personal perspective I was once a young girl with a dream of working in a non-traditional, mostly male field. Sure, I had to finish school and figure a way ahead – it was all very unlikely. The young girl evolved into a young woman and the dream didn’t diminish – it became a goal. Along the way I went about things quietly – why??  Because I had a sense that someone, somewhere, would tell me that I was not being realistic. I will always be grateful to those who were prepared to support me – I recall every one.

Michelle Wie may play the Masters one day – who knows?  I don’t, and with respect, you don’t.  But one thing I do know is that it is her journey – not yours. She will learn along the way and her mistakes will not define her. We should all wish her well.

Lyne

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