I've mentioned this before, but the greatest squelch of a pro golfer that I have ever heard on a golf course, came about thus. Thirty odd years ago I was playing in a tournament at the Norton Country Club in Rhodesia. It was a longish par three of about 238 yards, a cold winter guti all about us. The player, Bobby Verwey, stockily built but no long hitter, said to his African caddie, who was shivering in thin khaki shirt and pants, no shoes, "Driver, caddie?" The classic reply,"Not enough club Boss." The rest of us on the tee cracked up in guffaws of laughter.
Apologies to those who've seen this list of Top Ten Caddie Comebacks, but maybe someone hasn't:
10
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
9
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
8
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
7
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
6
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so, sir. That would be too much of a
coincidence."
5
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
4
Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
3
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."
2
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
1
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."