All right, enough with the frivolity. I can't let a shithole like Sydney get promoted over Melbourne.
Golf Courses - The famous Sandbelt. 8 clubs and 10 courses, 7 of the clubs located in proximity to each other, one of them, Peninsula, has its own unique flavour, located on the outer edges of Melbourne.
Kingston Heath is the second best course in Melbourne according to many. Residents often pride themselves on Melbourne being the sporting capital of the world, and this photo of the crowds watching Jonathan Becker play his final approach during a memorable round last year are proof enough.
Commonwealth arguably has the best holes on the Sandbelt outside of Royal Melbourne. It used to be known as the tree farm, for good reason, but recent work has opened up many of the views admirably. (Kyle Henderson image of par 3 15th hole)
Woodlands is fairly unique amongst the Sandbelt courses in that it isn't officially part of the Sandbelt due to too many utes in the parking lot, but the course has a lot to offer, and given that they are so short of cash, overseas visitors aren't ripped off as much here as they are at the other Sandbelt clubs.
Victoria's biggest claim to fame is having famous members like Peter Thomson, Doug Bachli and Geoff Ogilvy. A flattish front nine precedes a more undulating back nine. Stay and play packages are readily available. (Kyle Henderson image of par 3 4th hole)
Peninsula is generally not thought of by overseas visitors, but it also has stay and play packages available, which makes it a good base to explore the Mornington Peninsula courses and wineries. it has two courses, one shorter and more undulating, the other longer and flatter, but arguably the better course.
St Andrews Beach is about 45 minutes away from Peninsula. A troubled development that boasts one of Tom Doak and Michael Clayton's finest creations. Also pretty cheap to play at about $60 a round. If you're lucky, some kangaroos might accompany you on your journey; if you are unlucky, it will be a tiger snake. (Another Kyle Henderson image)
Accommodation All depends on whether it is a purely golfing trip or something else. Victoria and Peninsula as mentioned both provide great hospitality in the midst of golf, and I'm not sure why you would want more than that. Other than that, Melbourne is blessed with innumerable hotels of all price points.
The CBD is a good base to explore Melbourne, but perhaps not so good to explore the Sandbelt. St Kilda, a bohemian suburb about ten minutes from the CBD provides an eclectic mix of people and shops, but the area isn't for the faint-hearted or families, unless you are the Kardashians, in which case you have probably sucked off every nationality that exists in the suburb and will therefore be used to the strange people. Think Venice Beach without the class.
Southbank, adjoining the CBD, also boasts a great mix of eateries and nightlife.
Things To Do Between March and September football rules the town. Unfortunately, the game has become sanitised, so that classic moments like this no longer happen to filthy scum Carlton players like they deserve.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=-v8V1_xVSd8If you are an Arts person, Melbourne is the culture capital of Australia, with all manner of museums, theatres and festivals of all kind, including the famous Moomba festival in March. The Formula One Grand Prix is around the same time, the Australian Open tennis is of course in January, and the famous Spring racing carnival occupies minds in October/November.
Healesville Sanctuary is about an hour from Melbourne; it's a bush land haven for the rather unique indigenous wildlife.
Yarra Valley wineries - again around an hour from Melbourne are the numerous wineries of the Yarra Valley, where you can combine boozing and eating. Most of them have tours of some description. You can also sample a wide range of local hand made preserves, pickles and other foodstuffs.
Dandenong Ranges - again, around an hour from Melbourne, but on the cusp of the Yarra Valley, so the area makes a good base to explore both. Miss Marple's tearooms are quite famous, although in truth I make much better scones, but there are a lot of local craft shops and restaurants that make it a worthwhile trip, as well as the William Ricketts sanctuary, a fairly unique place where a local artist created many sculptures of indigenous origin.
Melbourne also has a number of famous suburban streets with their own local identity that can be fun to explore before Capitalistic greed ruins them forever. Chapel Street is home to the young and beautiful, as well as the drunk and deranged; Lygon Street is a little bit of Italy on the edge of the city, and now that the Gangland war has been over for some years, safe to dine out in again; Victoria Street in Richmond, a few minutes from the CBD via public transport, has many good and cheap Vietnamese restaurants, as well as many cheap and not-so-good Vietnamese hookers; Brunswick Street is the heart of Hipster Melbourne, so you will either want to hire a Hummer, remove the licence plates and drive along the sidewalks here, or just sit down for a coffee and wonder how so many strange looking people could think they are so cool; nearby Smith Street has about as an eclectic mix of people and shops as it is possible to find.