Dan -
I have lived in SF for 40+ years.
My favorite course on your list is the Meadow Club. The Mackenzie-designed course (restored by Urbina-Doak, I think) has plenty of charm and quirk. It is set in a very pretty spot. Some days you can encounter both deer and wild turkeys on the course during your round. I would not mind being a member there at all!
Claremont is another restored Mackenzie course. It is very old-school, sub-6,000 yards, with a par of 68 and a couple of crossing fairways.
Lake Merced & OC Ocean are both "modern" straight-forward tests. I don't know how early in May you are visiting, but Lake Merced is hosting an LPGA event the last weekend in April, so the course may be a little beat up in early May.
Peninsula does not do a whole lot for me. I have never played Stonebrae.
Feel free to get in touch if you have any more questions.
DT