Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing

[Martin Toal]

1. Cart path only with obligatory carts

2. Slow Play

3. Duck hooks (my fault)

4. The guy with the Tour bag with his name on it, who has everything Tour except game.

5. People using mobile (cell) phones on the course, especially egregious if audible. .

[Zac Keener]

1. Cigarette butts; i don't care if you smoke but please clean up after yourself.

2. Guy whom cant pick up his feet on the green; if i can see everywhere you've been on the putting surface, i get one free swipe at you with the flagstick

3. Double bogey blues; 3 handicap double bogies #4 and #5 doesnt speak another word until #17. It's a game meant to be enjoyed. We all have tough days; walk it off.

These last two are not really "on-course" and both come from a guy that's on the other side of the counter.

4. Please refrain from chewing out my bartender regarding pace of play; he/she had nothing to do with it. I'm in the golf shop, come talk to me.

5. Frost delay guy; I will let you know when you can golf. Asking me every 3 minutes when you can play is not going to get you on the course faster.

[Scott McWethy]

1.  People that smoke on the golf course and just discard their butts on the ground.  I'll never understand why smokers think it is OK to throw an object that is on fire, onto the ground. 

2.  Golfers that play too fast.  I understand all the frustration with the slow play.  However, golf is my leisure time and I don't understand why people want to rush through their rounds.  It's like a race against the clock.  I don't want to play a round in three hours.  I think four hours is a sufficient amount of time to play a round of golf.  Call me crazy!

3.  Fix your ball marks people!  It takes all of ten seconds and it makes al lthe difference to how a green can repair itself.

4.  The guy that wants to give everyone in the group a lesson throughout the round.  Only problem is that he is a 15 handicapper himself.  If someone seeks your advice, then great.  If not, keep your mouth shut and play.

5.  The golfer that claims to be a 12 handicap, but then you play against him in an event and suddenly he shoots the best round of his life.  If a handicap is supposed to be a measure of your best rounds, and someone magically shoots way better, somethings not right. 

[Dan Kelly]

Slow play doesn't chap my ass while playing golf unless I can see the cause of the slow play with my own eyes.

I need a visible villain to get worked up about it -- guys, for example, who are never ready to hit when it's their turn to hit, and who leave their bags and their carts in the wrong place hole after hole, and who mark and re-mark their two-foot putts (aligning the Cheater Line perfectly), and who take half a dozen lousy practice swings before making their actual lousy swings, and who walk at a tortoise's pace, and who...

[David Ober]

People who don't fix pitch marks! (fix yours and one or two others on every green!)

People who slopilly rake bunkers! (It's not that difficult!)

People who don't understand that reading a green should already be completed when it's your turn to putt! (unless you are first to putt)

People who play in carts and have one player hit, then both get in the cart and drive to the other ball. Drop off one guy and go to your ball if you're in a cart!

[David Kelly]

2.  Golfers that play too fast.  I understand all the frustration with the slow play.  However, golf is my leisure time and I don't understand why people want to rush through their rounds.  It's like a race against the clock.  I don't want to play a round in three hours.  I think four hours is a sufficient amount of time to play a round of golf.  Call me crazy!

You're crazy.

[Evan Louden]

5. The guy who says "Nice shot" because you simply got the ball airborne. Usually followed by your ball actually landing in a bunker.

4. The guy who curses after every shot he hits. Even when the outcome is perfectly acceptable.

3. Unrepaired ball marks. - People should be happy to fix their ball mark because it is almost always the result of a well struck shot.

2. Sunflower seed shells on the green.

1. Slow Play - especially the guy who makes a point of mentioning the group up ahead who is causing the problem but gave him the perfect out for HIS slow play.

[Michael Wharton-Palmer]

#1 By far..hitting poor iron shots from the middle of the many fairways I am fortunate enough to hit. Usually the result of not trapping the ball the way I want to, the shear frustration of not being able to do what I know how to do when I want to do it.

Now other people
Slow Play
Cell Phones
Non repair of balls marks
Shitty Etiquette...primarily when a four or five ball wont let a single play through
Too much alcohol cosumption and the resultant shitty etiquette


Before anybody chimes in, I do realise that #1 is part and parcel of this great game, and thus I continue the endeavour.

[Carl Johnson]

I expect slow play is everyone's number 1 so I'll go for 5 others

4. The clown who doesn't pick up after 6 / 7 shots - or, in matchplay, the guy that finishes the hole even though he lost it long ago

Wait a minute here.  If you picked up after 6/7 shots in medal play, that should disqualify you from the entire competition.  I would have to disagree - I think you should always finish your medal play competition, regardless of how poorly you are doing.  Rory McIlroy notwithstanding.

[Jud_T]

I expect slow play is everyone's number 1 so I'll go for 5 others


3. Bullshit, deliberate pre-shot routines - IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU HIT IT BETTER!!! Particularly annoying if they're a crap player

Brian,

I agree, but I find good players who are slower than molasses even more annoying.  They should know better.

[Garland Bayley]

Hey Gang,

What are some things that bug you?  I love the game of golf and its my main hobby but there are a few things that get under my skin.

5.  Guys who smack the dirt off their shoes in the parking lot.....who is supposed to clean that mess up?

4.  A stale hotdog bun.....eating stale bread reminds me of eating a bad piece of  cheese.  I expect nothing but the best when dealing with both!

3.  The cheapskate tipper in your group who won't take care of the golf staff.  Guys will spend $1000 on a golf trip or $400 on a driver but won't tip a cart boy properly when the young chap is trying to put his way through college

2.  The golfer who yells "f***" every other word.  Lets keep it classy gents

1.  The "pervert" golfer in your group who goes a little over bored when flirting with the cart girl.  She is so young she could be his daughter

Guys like Bob Garvelink.

[Scott Weersing]

Here are mine:

1. Cart paths only but you have to take a cart
2. Courses that don't tell you of a recent aerification when making a tee time over the phone or who don't post it on their website.
3. Go for it in two guy. He is the one who hits one drive 230 yards but then waits for a green to clear on a par 5 because he might reach them with his 3 wood. This guy is annoying if he is in the foursome in front of you or in your own foursome. You make a lot more birdies from 100 yards out then reaching the green in 2.
4. Marshalls who just drive around. There is a course I play at and the marshall does nothing but drive around. You could clean up the course, help people look for golf balls, rake traps, repair ball marks, monitor slow play, etc.
5. Environmental protection areas that are regularly destroyed by fire or flood. I can't enter them to hit a golf shot but every other year, they wash away or are burned down. For example, Rustic Canyon.

[Jim Tang]

5.  Cell phones on the golf course

4.  Mandatory carts

3.  Finding out on the first green that the greens have been recently aerated

2.  My swing 

1.  Slow play

[paul cowley]

 

[Carl Johnson]

Carl, come on. I don't mean in medal play. I mean in casual play.

Of course I knew that.  I just did not want to miss the opportunity to dig at Rory a little.

[Scott Sander]

5. Joey Chitwood- This guy drives his cart a few inches off the fringe, beside the bunkers and will actually drive and park his cart between the cart path and the tee, saving a good 3 feet of walking; hence, Joey is usually over a deuce and a half in heft. After 2nd infraction, and you mention this breach of etiquette, Chitwood smiles and chuckles and says, “Is this a problem?” Yes asshole, it is.

Love the name.

Oddly, I played with Joey Chitwood (III) summer before last.  You'll be pleased to know he's nothing like this at all.  Nice fellow - quiet, friendly, and not at all obnoxious.  That said, his partner did all the driving, so who knows if he'd have turned it into a thrill show given the chance.

[Michael Blake]

On the course, everything used to bother me in my late teens, 20's & 30's.
Now, to be honest, nothing bothers me.  Pretty darn happy every time I'm out playing, even with knuckleheads all around.
Just a different mindset now, for no good reason.

[Bob_Garvelink]

Hey Gang,

What are some things that bug you?  I love the game of golf and its my main hobby but there are a few things that get under my skin.

5.  Guys who smack the dirt off their shoes in the parking lot.....who is supposed to clean that mess up?

4.  A stale hotdog bun.....eating stale bread reminds me of eating a bad piece of  cheese.  I expect nothing but the best when dealing with both!

3.  The cheapskate tipper in your group who won't take care of the golf staff.  Guys will spend $1000 on a golf trip or $400 on a driver but won't tip a cart boy properly when the young chap is trying to put his way through college

2.  The golfer who yells "f***" every other word.  Lets keep it classy gents

1.  The "pervert" golfer in your group who goes a little over bored when flirting with the cart girl.  She is so young she could be his daughter

Guys like Bob Garvelink.

GJ Bailey,

Ouch...why me?

[Garland Bayley]

Hey Gang,

What are some things that bug you?  I love the game of golf and its my main hobby but there are a few things that get under my skin.

5.  Guys who smack the dirt off their shoes in the parking lot.....who is supposed to clean that mess up?

4.  A stale hotdog bun.....eating stale bread reminds me of eating a bad piece of  cheese.  I expect nothing but the best when dealing with both!

3.  The cheapskate tipper in your group who won't take care of the golf staff.  Guys will spend $1000 on a golf trip or $400 on a driver but won't tip a cart boy properly when the young chap is trying to put his way through college

2.  The golfer who yells "f***" every other word.  Lets keep it classy gents

1.  The "pervert" golfer in your group who goes a little over bored when flirting with the cart girl.  She is so young she could be his daughter

Guys like Bob Garvelink.

GJ Bailey,

Ouch...why me?

You went there to play golf, not to worry about any dirt that may get on the parking lot.
You went there to play golf, not to eat.
You went there to play golf, not ride around in a cart.
You choose to write words on the website that are not appreciated by the website owner.
You apparently support the obscene thing known as a beverage cart. You went there to play golf, not buy drinks from a cart and hold up play.

[Bill_McBride]

Hey Gang,

What are some things that bug you?  I love the game of golf and its my main hobby but there are a few things that get under my skin.

5.  Guys who smack the dirt off their shoes in the parking lot.....who is supposed to clean that mess up?

4.  A stale hotdog bun.....eating stale bread reminds me of eating a bad piece of  cheese.  I expect nothing but the best when dealing with both!

3.  The cheapskate tipper in your group who won't take care of the golf staff.  Guys will spend $1000 on a golf trip or $400 on a driver but won't tip a cart boy properly when the young chap is trying to put his way through college

2.  The golfer who yells "f***" every other word.  Lets keep it classy gents

1.  The "pervert" golfer in your group who goes a little over bored when flirting with the cart girl.  She is so young she could be his daughter

Guys like Bob Garvelink.

GJ Bailey,

Ouch...why me?

You went there to play golf, not to worry about any dirt that may get on the parking lot.
You went there to play golf, not to eat.
You went there to play golf, not ride around in a cart.
You choose to write words on the website that are not appreciated by the website owner.
You apparently support the obscene thing known as a beverage cart. You went there to play golf, not buy drinks from a cart and hold up play.

Are you putting words in Ran's mouth?   How do you know he doesn't appreciate anything Bob said?

[Eric Smith]

Bill,

If I had to guess, it was what Bob originally wrote in reference to eating stale bread. 

[Garland Bayley]

Hey Gang,

What are some things that bug you?  I love the game of golf and its my main hobby but there are a few things that get under my skin.

5.  Guys who smack the dirt off their shoes in the parking lot.....who is supposed to clean that mess up?

4.  A stale hotdog bun.....eating stale bread reminds me of eating a bad piece of  cheese.  I expect nothing but the best when dealing with both!

3.  The cheapskate tipper in your group who won't take care of the golf staff.  Guys will spend $1000 on a golf trip or $400 on a driver but won't tip a cart boy properly when the young chap is trying to put his way through college

2.  The golfer who yells "f***" every other word.  Lets keep it classy gents

1.  The "pervert" golfer in your group who goes a little over bored when flirting with the cart girl.  She is so young she could be his daughter

Guys like Bob Garvelink.

GJ Bailey,

Ouch...why me?

You went there to play golf, not to worry about any dirt that may get on the parking lot.
You went there to play golf, not to eat.
You went there to play golf, not ride around in a cart.
You choose to write words on the website that are not appreciated by the website owner.
You apparently support the obscene thing known as a beverage cart. You went there to play golf, not buy drinks from a cart and hold up play.

Are you putting words in Ran's mouth?   How do you know he doesn't appreciate anything Bob said?

He has requested certain obscene words not be posted. The reason you don't see one posted above is because I mitigated it in my original reply.

[Bill_McBride]

Hey Gang,

What are some things that bug you?  I love the game of golf and its my main hobby but there are a few things that get under my skin.

5.  Guys who smack the dirt off their shoes in the parking lot.....who is supposed to clean that mess up?

4.  A stale hotdog bun.....eating stale bread reminds me of eating a bad piece of  cheese.  I expect nothing but the best when dealing with both!

3.  The cheapskate tipper in your group who won't take care of the golf staff.  Guys will spend $1000 on a golf trip or $400 on a driver but won't tip a cart boy properly when the young chap is trying to put his way through college

2.  The golfer who yells "f***" every other word.  Lets keep it classy gents

1.  The "pervert" golfer in your group who goes a little over bored when flirting with the cart girl.  She is so young she could be his daughter

Guys like Bob Garvelink.

GJ Bailey,

Ouch...why me?

You went there to play golf, not to worry about any dirt that may get on the parking lot.
You went there to play golf, not to eat.
You went there to play golf, not ride around in a cart.
You choose to write words on the website that are not appreciated by the website owner.
You apparently support the obscene thing known as a beverage cart. You went there to play golf, not buy drinks from a cart and hold up play.

Are you putting words in Ran's mouth?   How do you know he doesn't appreciate anything Bob said?

He has requested certain obscene words not be posted. The reason you don't see one posted above is because I mitigated it in my original reply.

Where did Ran say that?  And Bob did put quotes around his obscenity there in the OP.  

[Gib_Papazian]

Things that piss me off:

Long rough in front of bunkers along the line of play.

Middle-handicap douche bags who play the tips.

Two perfect shots on a par-5 followed by a bladed wedge.

A caddy who smells like whiskey and B.O. - for $100 a bag?

The Yips.

Cigar ashes on the green.

Rees Jones

Arbitrary rough lines with no connection to a land form.

Trees overhanging fairways and greens.

Obnoxiously high "resort course" green fees.

Assholes who are mean to junior golfers.

Shitty rake jobs in the bunkers.

Fat asses too lazy to bend over and fix an extra ball mark or divot.

Clowns who leave broken tees all over the box.

5 hour rounds because greens meant to Stimp at 9 have been rolled and cut to 12.

Three groups waiting on a tee just as you're getting warmed up.

Smarmy-ass little weasels in the parking lot who insist on taking my bats and shoes - and then misplacing them.

A Walmart greeter on the first tee who lectures me like it is my first time on a golf course.

Idiots who mark their ball after every single putt.

Ugly beer-wenches - especially ones who only loudly drive up when you're lining up a shot.

Bumpkins who chew and then spit Copenhagen on the green, like tobacco and spit are fertilizer.

Deep rough, two-feet off the fairway where you find three Top Flites but lose your ball.

Long par-4s with narrow greens, oriented perpendicular to the line of play guarded in front by bunkers.

Losing a spike and then having to the fish dirt out of the threads after the round.

Playing behind a group of drunk losers who forget clubs every other hole.

32 handicappers who win every net event by miraculously "breaking 90 for the first time."

Sandbaggers who travel the charity event circuit and clean up with a crooked partner.

Hats on backwards. Indoors is even worse.

Guys who insist on playing spots, putts, greenies and junk - and hold up play after every hole marking the scorecard.

Clubs that do not allow shorts - especially on hot days.

Over-watered bogs because the club is too stubborn to plant the right variety of turfgrass.

Mushy greens.

Green Chairmen who don't know Alister MacKenzie from Mackenzie Phillips.

Playing a company scramble (that I'm invited to sponsor) with partners who play once a year.

Courses (like Torrey Pines) with the audacity to charge "Advance Booking Fees." How about this? F*ck you!

Anything run by American Golf.

In-course O.B. markers.

Thick rough around the putting surface.

Pins set in the toughest spots on the days when play is heaviest.

[Kerry Gray]

Gib,
You sure you like golf?  ok, i'm joking.
my peeves:
1/ slow play!  if you want to take 5+ hours to play, build your own course. you are not exempt from hundreds of years of tradition. I want to play golf in the morning or afternoon, not both!
2/ Serious golfers.....by coincidence they are usually not very good. If you want to take some of my bets, at least contribute a few laughs. Saying "nice on" after my 9th shot is expected and welcome, getting upset after I call you "asshole" is not.
And yes, I will casually ask you to repeat your score a few times after your first "blow up" hole.
   "What was that you had there again Chuck? A nine? you don't say."
    "Sorry Chuck, let me confirm for the scorecard, that was a 9 you had on the previous hole right?"
    And once we are on the next tee I will most certainly ask if anybody beat a 9 on the previous hole. If that works you up, stay home!
3/ Cell phones. If you must leave it on, put it on SILENT! Seriously, you are just not that important! Some guys ask me why they never get invited out again. I don't golf where you work so dont work where I golf.
4/The "pick up guy". Trying to pick up the beer cart girl at every course is some guys idea of demonstrating their "skills". Usually the girls have the grace to gently put these guys in their place but a few times they deserved a good kick in the jewels. Usually creepy, rarely funny and almost always single. And god help us if she rejects him outright.