Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing

[Bob_Garvelink]

 Hey Gang,

What are some things that bug you?  I love the game of golf and its my main hobby but there are a few things that get under my skin.

5.  Guys who smack the dirt off their shoes in the parking lot.....who is supposed to clean that mess up?

4.  A stale hotdog bun.....eating stale bread reminds me of eating a bad piece of  cheese.  I expect nothing but the best when dealing with both!

3.  The cheapskate tipper in your group who won't take care of the golf staff.  Guys will spend $1000 on a golf trip or $400 on a driver but won't tip a cart boy properly when the young chap is trying to put his way through college

2.  The golfer who yells "fuck" every other word.  Lets keep it classy gents

1.  The "pervert" golfer in your group who goes a little over bored when flirting with the cart girl.  She is so young she could be his daughter

[Tom Fagerli]

All this yelling and loud talk during a round.
Guys who can't take two or three clubs with them to their ball to get ready to hit (cart golf) and have to wait for you to drive over to them to pull a club. Reminds me of little kid soccer where the pack is always huddled around the ball.

[Mac Plumart]

Lightning

Flash Floods

Darkness

Shanks

Non-repaired ball marks on the green


That's about it.

[Greg Chambers]

slow play

slow play

slow play

slow play

a golf course staff that won't address slow play

[Jud_T]

Guys who talk while you're hitting and are oblivious that it's bad etiquette

Guys who wait until it's their turn to hit to think about club selection, practice swings, caddie discussions etc.

Guys who continue to pound ball after ball deep into the rough with a Driver when the smart play is hybrid or fairway metal and expect you to continue to hunt all over creation for their ball.

Guys who you don't want to even play a $1 dollar nassau with because they're not gracious winners, they're sore losers and cheap.

Guys who insist on getting every yardage exact when they're happy just to make solid contact.

[Dean Stokes]

slow play

slow play

slow play

slow play

a golf course staff that won't address slow play

ditto. This is the only thing that has made me consider quitting my favorite sport/hobby. I don't even go,on the course if I think it's gong to be over 4 hours. Golf should never ever take that long.

[Joe_Tucholski]

I have to admit to a few of these and feel like I should rationalize the poor behavior.

5.  Guys who smack the dirt off their shoes in the parking lot.....who is supposed to clean that mess up?
3.  The cheapskate tipper in your group who won't take care of the golf staff.  Guys will spend $1000 on a golf trip or $400 on a driver but won't tip a cart boy properly when the young chap is trying to put his way through college
2.  The golfer who yells "fuck" every other word.  Lets keep it classy gents

I guess I figured the grass and dirt on the bottom of my shoes will blow away just like it would if it slowly fell off when walking.  I'll stop this practice now.  Tipping policies on who to tip and when have been discussed frequently and I admit it's still something I feel uncomfortable with.  When I worked in a cart barn my experience was the guys working to get the tips by picking people up at their cars or cleaning clubs were the guys who weren't doing their real job - cleaning and moving carts around so they were clean and fully charged when they needed to go out.  I have cut back with cussing on the golf course.  It's the only place I cuss and it used to be a problem, but essentially stopped when my wife started to occasionally play with me.  

Shanks

I get the shanks 1-2x per year.  Usually occurs a few days into a golf binge right when I think my game is coming back.

Guys who continue to pound ball after ball deep into the rough with a Driver when the smart play is hybrid or fairway metal and expect you to continue to hunt all over creation for their ball.

I can distinctly remember a tournament round on a course I hadn't played before.  We get to my 6th hole and I had just birdied the 5th.  The hole had junk between the drive and approach.  I hit driver into the junk.  I fully admit I searched way too long for the ball before walking back to the tee.


Here's my list.
1)  The golfer who drives his cart past the "no carts beyond this point sign" or off the path on par 3's.
2)  Golfers who make no attempt to repair ball marks.
3)  The golfer who insists on playing from the back tees and then proceeds to score worse than the rest of the group playing tees in front.
4)  Lost balls in the rough.
5)  Rounds of golf that take more than 4.5 hours (should be quicker but doesn't really upset me until we get to this point).

[V. Kmetz]

5. A member of the group who is an "announcer." He must narrate the entire conduct of your golf shot and potentially what it means to your day, EX: (Shot is hit...) "Oh that's going to be close...no its OK...wait, it hit that little mound... I think it went over the cart path...that's hazard over there, so maybe you can play it...you can find it at least...even if you can't, you can drop, it's lateral; it'll still be an easy bogey, maybe you can still get your par...do you get a shot on this hole...what are you...an 11 HCP?,,,no you don't ge ta shot here, this is the 9th handicap hole...is it my turn...whaddya everybody make on the last.

4. Anybody - especially in your group or even just around the 1st tee in the group(s) ahead of you - who  shot in the 70s, "just last week."  You'll be bound to his conundrum all day - "this isn't like me" as he furiously tries to remember all the Pelz, Ledbetter, Breed and GD tips he inhaled to make him a "70s" shooter...When it all collapses by the 15th and he's assured of 90 or more...he "was happy to make three pars, swinging as I have been recently." Grrrrrr.

3.  "The extra shot man" - my best friend has this disease in spades, this affliction that has darkened all our souls at some early point.  But those like my buddy cannot help firing a ball from his pocket to the turf and quickly attempting to properly execute the shot he just fucked up - most often around greensides, and most often accompanied by the phrase.  "Hold on this doesn't count; I just want to see something..."  (I often reply, "yeah - loss of hole" or " a two shot penalty.")  My friend is so stubbornly attached to this habit that one time he duff-plunked his live ball into a fronting green hazard and then with the second, hit it marginally better but still fell in the drink.  His commentary?  "OK I've got it now."

2.  Ballmarks...

1. Cellphones/I-phones...even if (especially if) they are permitted by the venue.

cheers

vk

[BHoover]

I can put up with a lot of shit, but here is my list:

5. Being rude to the staff/caddies (keep it classy)
4. Playing partners who regularly cancel on you at the last minute (especially if it's a lame excuse like bad weather)
3. Slow play
2. Being too lazy to replace the strip steak of a divot you just took out of the fairway
1. Being too lazy to fix a ball mark (or not knowing how to fix it properly)

[Mike_Trenham]

1) getting dumped at the last minute for an invite for a better game at a better course
2) people rude to the staff or independent contractor caddies
3) members that complain about not getting a good caddies for the member guest but carry their own when rules permit
4) people that actually play stroke and distance rules and walk back to the tee
5) golfers that complain the downhill putts are too fast and uphill putts are too slow
6) tees littered with unbroken tees,  I know "this is a rich person's problem" only at found at private clubs
7) tiny lockers, either give me a full size locker or give me a bench and a hook
unaccompanied guests holding up the course or not following the rules
9) when a member who sponsored a guy he barely knew, later complains about the guys behavior
10) over edged bunkers
11) the "have you ever played xyz?" guy.

[mike_beene]

If there were 5 things I would quit. mandatory carts and slow play are it

[Bill_McBride]

Guys who hit bad shots and complain out loud, as if anybody else cares!   

[Jason Topp]

Hot humid days. 

[noonan]

Yardage geeks (laser and or gps)
Plumb bobbers
Looking and the putt from more than one side
Excessive looking for a lost ball
Someone who is never ready to play when it is their turn

[Matthew Rose]

slow play

slow play

slow play

slow play

a golf course staff that won't address slow play

Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.

[Sam Morrow]

Slow play and poor etiquette. For the most part I can ignore other stuff, I guess I just have thicker skin than most.

[Ronald Montesano]

5.  Guys who smack the dirt off their shoes in the parking lot.....who is supposed to clean that mess up?

Patrick Mucci? Seriously, it's dirt and you are outside. Shall we vacuum the sand off the green, too?

4.  A stale hotdog bun.....eating stale bread reminds me of eating a bad piece of $&@?. I expect nothing but the best when dealing with both!

Agree. However, if it bugs you enough, you should just return it and ask "really?"

3.  The cheapskate tipper in your group who won't take care of the golf staff.  Guys will spend $1000 on a golf trip or $400 on a driver but won't tip a cart boy properly when the young chap is trying to put his way through college

Agree. Order less and tip more.

2.  The golfer who yells "fuck" every other word.  Lets keep it classy gents

That would be f-ing me, amigo.

1.  The "pervert" golfer in your group who goes a little over bored when flirting with the cart girl.  She is so young she could be his daughter

Over bored? That's what got him there in the first place. Overboard is much worse.

My five?

UNO: Illogical and endemic slow play. Slow play can happen and be remedied within 1.5 holes. I dislike the golfers who all help the guy hunt for his ball (hit a provisional or take a drop, play cheaper balls and move on.) However, given all the conservatives on this site, I'm sure that no one is down with more government, errrr, administrative, errr, pro shop interference.

DOS: Rub of the green. Too much like real life for me. I get it and accept it, yet I seem to only recall the bad bounces. The good ones were the result of excellent reconnaissance and execution on my part.

TRES: Why can't we fix spike marks? A ball mark is the result of another's good shot, so we fix those. Fine. Spike marks are the result of someone's careless misstep, so we are penalized for a burro's selfishness? Why, I ask again?

CUATRO: Pro shops that won't sell a single logo ball, but instead force you to purchase the sleeve. First, I'm not going to play it, I'm going to put it on a shelf, in a jar, so I don't need three. Second, you must really think a lot of yourself if you need to hustle your clients for $8 to $10 of golf balls. This only happened once and I casually said "Too bad, I would have mentioned the fine logo in the articles I'm writing" and turned away. The chappie changed his tune immediately, but I waved him off and kept walking. Didn't write about it one way or the other, but felt a lesson was in order that day. This was in my early days of writing, before I understood "the code."

CINCO: Golfers that wait to hit in par five fairways or short par fours, dreaming of eagle putts.

SEIS: Sinkholes...

[Don_Mahaffey]

1. Cell phone guy
2. Grain guy. The guy who talks about grain on every putt even on brand new ultradwarf that is putting perfectly.
3. I'm the only one here guy....dude if you walk in front of me one more time I'm going to laser a 3 iron at your cranium.
4. Bad break guy....whines so much that other players join in with him after every shot..."wow, just another bad break" becomes the chorus.
5. Playing a wet golf course during dry weather...I know turfgrass needs water, but it's not the only thing it needs.

[Ronald Montesano]

1. Cell phone guy

Can you be cell phone guy if you are selective about your usage?

2. Grain guy. The guy who talks about grain on every putt even on brand new ultradwarf that is putting perfectly.

Thought you meant grain alcohol for a second...

3. I'm the only one here guy....dude if you walk in front of me one more time I'm going to laser a 3 iron at your cranium.

first thing we teach the girls and guys on our high school teams...back off the shot, shoot them a look the first time, discuss the issue the second and always notify the coach.

4. Bad break guy....whines so much that other players join in with him after every shot..."wow, just another bad break" becomes the chorus.

ha ha ha ha ha...going to use this.

5. Playing a wet golf course during dry weather...I know turfgrass needs water, but it's not the only thing it needs.

true dat, brother.
 

[Mac Plumart]

5...Mark Pritchett, in general

4...Keith O'halloran holing out from 130 yards while playing 13 at The 'mont his first time.

3...Hitting the ball "too good" constantly

2...Equipment that isn't up to speed with the high quality of my game

1...Wade Schueneman's short game touch!!!   

[Mark Pritchett]

5...Mark Pritchett, in general

4...Keith O'halloran holing out from 130 yards while playing 13 at The 'mont his first time.

3...Hitting the ball "too good" constantly

2...Equipment that isn't up to speed with the high quality of my game

1...Wade Schueneman's short game touch!!!   

Glad to know it's not related to just "on the course". 

Looks like you may have some free time on April 9th! 

[Mac Plumart]

Looks like you may have some free time on April 9th!

 

[Carson Pilcher]

slow play

slow play

slow play

slow play

a golf course staff that won't address slow play

I could not have said it better myself!

I'm not too keen on the guy who gets overly upset with his own poor play.  We are not really good enough to get mad.  None of us.

[Tom Culley]

1. The slow player - I really don't have a problem with people taking a bit of time over a shot, they should just get to their ball fast and get ready whilst others are playing.

2. The club thrower - I don't care how badly you are playing, there is no excuse for throwing your toys out of the pram.

3. The competition stroke play guy - When i'm out for a late afternoon knock, i really don't want to be keeping score or playing exactly by the rules.

4. The distance obsessed guy - Stop worrying about what club i used on a par 3, just get a move on and hit your shot.

5. The blame the course guy - The course is the same for everyone, just lighten up and have fun!

[Greg Taylor]

1. Slow play

2. Mobile phones

3. Constant commentary on your own game

4. Playing crap

5. Playing crap