[Tim Pitner]

Gib,

Most people around here seem to enjoy your rants so keep 'em coming.  I just can't stand these navel gazing threads and assisting John K in his own navel gazing may be the worst (even if done well).  Don't mind me--apparently plenty of people would love to talk about John K's phobias, quirks and foibles.  Maybe it's a Dismal River thing.

P.S.  I have little interest in the DR Nicklaus course; the Doak course on the other hand . . .

[John Kavanaugh]

Gib,

Most people around here seem to enjoy your rants so keep 'em coming.  I just can't stand these navel gazing threads and assisting John K in his own navel gazing may be the worst (even if done well).  Don't mind me--apparently plenty of people would love to talk about John K's phobias, quirks and foibles.  Maybe it's a Dismal River thing.

P.S.  I have little interest in the DR Nicklaus course; the Doak course on the other hand . . .

Tim,

You illustrate the point of this thread perfectly above. The game is dying because everyone, including me, are made miserable by the petty habits of others that should not touch their lives. Remember your snit comment to me the other day. Seems you are suffering also.

[Tim Pitner]

John,

The game is not dying and, if it were, that would not be the reason for its demise.  Please continue talking about yourself, I'll no longer interrupt. 

Best (sincerely),
Tim

[Gib_Papazian]

Tim,

I am not nearly as annoyed by John's self-flagellation as you seem to be. I regard our friend as a sort of obtuse curiosity - a conversation piece, giving the same impression as would an enormous ceramic penis on a pedestal in the Louvre. How did it find a place here? Is it art? If so, would it not be better to display it in a place more appropriate?

The primary allure of John's madness is not shock value - although I once threatened to fly to Indiana and kick his ass if he did not apologize to one of our mutual friends. We read him for the same reason Bill Griffith was so successful with Zippy the Pinhead comics: Hidden within the nonsense is an encoded message. The message might be abhorrent, it might be insightful and it might be just plain nasty, but it is difficult to resist the temptation to decode the residue that erupts from the airless bowels of his violently conflicted, painful, guilt-riddled, self inflicted insanity.

The contradiction between his internet persona and the skinny-legged pot belly who carries his bag, replaces every single divot and fixes every ball mark on the green - not so much as a matter of habit, but an OCD condition - is striking until you look closer. Barny lamented to me once that he was jealous of my freedom living in San Francisco - opining that in his life back home, nobody could possibly grasp the concept of this board let alone the vectorous nature of his posts.

If left to his own devices - assuming his extremely attractive wife could be locked into a state of suspended animation for a year or so - it would not surprise me to see him naked on roller skates, smoking a joint with 100,000 other people at Bay to Breakers. John's biggest problem is that he's a closet crackerbox - emotionally locked in the town stocks - fearful that his peers in the narrow-minded prison of his stomping grounds will someday discover that he is not a boilerplate, pro forma idiot like the rest of them.

"The down side of Americans being obsessed with pop culture is that they kind of like it light."
-Bill Griffith




                

[Peter Pallotta]

Also, it answers the question: What would the connoisseurs of golf course architecture discuss if there were no great courses left to conquer? The answer: the same fears and frailties that set them off on that quest in the first place, except now with no code words like "top 10", "hidden gem", "shot values" and "templates" to hide behind.

Just a thought.... 

Peter

[John Kirk]

My uncle was Bill Saroyan . . . I doubt if he would have Tweeted either.   

Hi Gib,

I looked up the Wikipedia biography of William Saroyan.  I see his cousin is Ross Bagdasarian, Sr., a name I also recognize.  Perhaps he would be a tweeter.

Oo ee oo ah ah,
Ting tang walla walla bing bang.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iA_TZ15ruA

[Gib_Papazian]

My father was actually in Auntie K's house, sitting on a chair in the basement, the night Uncle Bill and Ross (Uh, Dave Seville) worked out "C'mon a my house." Here is the truth, it is a tongue in cheek parody of our Armenian habit of inviting people to the house for the whole coffee, dried fruit, nuts and assorted delights, followed by Shish Kebab and pilaf etc etc etc.

[John Kirk]

Gib,

I deleted the first comment, for fear it was too personal, so I'm glad you followed up.  Perhaps I'll reinstate the first comment so it doesn't look weird.

In the Wikipedia bio of Bagdasarian, it also says he was the piano player in Rear Window, which is a sensational movie.

Funny how "Come On A-My House" is commonly interpreted as something very different.  Great story, and thanks.

[John Kirk]

...

[JNC Lyon]

1) I'm a five handicap who occasionally gets too frustrated with his game.  This means I might slam or toss a club every once in awhile.  I don't like doing it, and I'll probably apologize for it later.  But it happens.
2) I'll be overly critical of Fazio architecture.
3) I'm going to walk.
4) I quote Caddyshack a lot.
5) I really like the "no looking for lost balls" stipulation.

...but at least I'm not a poser like McKeever.

[Mark McKeever]

Nice John!! 

Mark

[JMEvensky]

 I regard our friend as a sort of obtuse curiosity, a conversation piece, giving the same impression as would an enormous ceramic penis on a pedestal
      

 I'll never be able to watch A Clockwork Orange again.

[Steve Okula]

When did the noun "golf" become a verb?  I really hate that.....

Been a verb for a LOOOONG time.

Golfing is a sport like shooting, running, bolwing, hunting and fishing.

The participants are all given the *er suffix, shooter, runner, bowler, rider, hunter, fisher, golfer.

I have a book published many decades ago by the Sunday Times called, "Go Golfing in Great Britain," good enough for me.

K

True. Look it up in any English language dictionary. "Golf" is a verb. Plain fact.

I hate it when people try to impose their own erroneous rules of grammar on the English language. You might as well try to contradict the rules of golf.

[John Kirk]

I think the question is whether the statement "golf your ball" is proper.  In the one dictionary I looked at online, "golf" is called an intransitive verb, which means there is no direct object allowed.  That's right, isn't it Bill?

[Bill_McBride]

I think the question is whether the statement "golf your ball" is proper.  In the one dictionary I looked at online, "golf" is called an intransitive verb, which means there is no direct object allowed.  That's right, isn't it Bill?

Who knows?  I just think golf as a verb sounds goofy, but whatever floats your boat.  

"John and I golfed at Pumpkin Ridge yesterday."   That just sounds weak to me.  It may be proper English but I for one would never say that. 

[William_G]

you hate because you are a hater

[Ted Sturges]

I don't want to play in three hours at club where the standard is 4 hrs and 15.  I've got nowhere else I want or need to be.   If I do I'll find something else to do.  Like not go see The Master again.  I should have hit balls yesterday.

JK,

I can't seem to even process the above paragraph.  You "like" to play slow?  You've got "nowhere else you want or need to be?"  Then...just, please don't be in the group in front of me.  Standing around waiting for someone who can't seem to be ready to play this great game when it is their turn is very difficult to endure.  I have never been to a golf course where the "standard" is 4 hours and 15 minutes (you've got to "try" to play that slow).  Played Friday at the Trophy Club in Indy in 3 hours and 15 minutes.  We had a fantastic afternoon.  I agree with you on The Master.  Saw it Friday night after the golf.  Wish I had that 2 1/2 hours back...though I'd see it again versus playing 10 holes behind your group.   

TS

[John Kavanaugh]

Ted,

All I want to do is play exactly as fast as I want to.  I don't want someone behind me pushing or someone in front slowing me down. This is possible even on a crowded course if you pace your group according to the conditions of the day. 

I don't think it is fair to compare a round with however many people you have in your group at the Trophy Club with a round played by a foresome at a huge penal course like Victoria National.  You don't have to try to be slow if you are playing cart path only and putting everything thing out to take 4:15.  Yes that does sound like less than fun for the rake and run crowd, so please don't remind me.  There are other courses where 3:15 is the norm for our game.  Oak Meadow, Rolling Hills, Cambridge, etc. are all examples.  Here are my preference for playing, which limits the hate, from most favorable to least.

1.  Play exactly at a pace that fits the day.
2.  Wait on a group in front of me from time to time.
3.  Let a group go through.
4.  Play through a group.

I hate playing through a group more than any other aspect of golf.  I would rather take a bit longer myself and smell the roses cause I like being outdoors having fun.

I never arrive at a course either expecting anything other than being able to enjoy the day without either playing through a group or letting a group through.  When I was younger I would hunt any group in front of me with the determination that I would catch and pass that group.  I see groups behind me doing the same. 

I would be surprised if anyone on this site can argue that the anxiety created by pace of play issues is not killing the game.  I fully admit that if I tee off at 9 am on a weekend morning and your group tees off at 10 I will not be happy when you expect to be let though on 16 tee.  You will still get done in your desired 3:15 but it pushes me back to 4:30.  Yes it does takes 15 minutes to let a group go through and then wait on the next tee.  And yes 16 tee being a very difficult par three is a choke point.  Now we are both pissed off because of your expectations.

[Kyle Harris]

This is a worthwhile bump now that things are things.


You hate me because...


1. I act like I'm always right on Twitter.
2. I am always right on Twitter.
3. Just like everyone else is always right on Twitter.


1. I play fast and expect that you at least focus on the task at hand (playing golf).
2. I play the ball down and will refuse your offer to improve a lie.
3. I walk and may make some snarky comment about not having a handicap so as to require a cart.
4. I don't want you to take my bag off my shoulder.
5. I generally eschew caddies.

[Mike Hendren]

What a gut punch to learn that one of Barney's parents attended Georgetown.  The Hillbilly Tour was nothing but a ruse perpetrated in a snow globe.  Hillbillies don't know where Georgetown is, and if they played golf with Gary Player (by accident) they surely would not admit it publicly.  Now Gibby Gilbert?  That's a whole nuther story. 

Bogey

[John Kavanaugh]

Worse yet it was my great grandmother that attended Georgetown.

[Mike Hendren]

Barney, that is a bitter pill as both of my family trees include  no more than a single quarter of enrollment at Murray State.  Thanks for slumming with me.

Mike

[Lou_Duran]

Barney, that is a bitter pill as both of my family trees include  no more than a single quarter of enrollment at Murray State.  Thanks for slumming with me.

Mike

Yes, perhaps.  But both of you clean up nicely.  Along with Steve Wilson, you'all are Hillbilly royalty to me.


Re: your other topic, my son had this one or something similar in his Dodge truck.  Unfortunately, the lock was not a deterrent to and experienced thief as his clubs were stolen one night in Austin.


https://www.homedepot.com/p/Husky-71-36-Diamond-Plate-Aluminum-Full-Size-Crossbed-Truck-Tool-Box-102101-9-01/302959739

[SL_Solow]

I remember this thread and I recall being tempted to reply and deciding to refrain.  It's a different time.  I really don't like the term hate.  My very wise Dad told me "hate is a terrible and destructive emotion.  You should do your best to avoid it.  But sometimes you can't help yourself.  If you have to hate, treat it like anything else; do it well.  It will help get it out of your system."  I have tried to apply that advice since I heard it about 60 years ago.  Accordingly, I haven't applied it to the petty annoyances referred to regarding others' golf habits.  The closest I have come is my reaction to members who think they know more about architecture and course conditioning than the professionals and proceed to do their best to make the professionals and the various committee members lives miserable.  I have made my feelings known on numerous occasions to a variety of offenders.

[Ira Fishman]

Hate indeed is a very strong word. I have an extremely intense dislike for golfers who do not the staff well.


Ira

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