How would you define the game of golf….

[Dan Kelly]

To the thread title's question:

I wouldn't -- unless someone were paying me good money to do so. (Paging Dr. Johnson!)

Pretty obviously, golf is one thing to one guy and another thing to another.

Almost as obviously, for most of us, it's one thing one day and another thing the next.

[Jason Thurman]

I define golf as a game of trying to get the ball in the hole in as few strokes as possible. It's made more interesting by the fact that it's perhaps the only game where you can simultaneously drive a motorized vehicle, drink booze, check Twitter, and use an iPhone app while playing. Bowling and softball come close but only pass 3 of the 4 criteria.

Charles Barkley once said he doesn't run because it makes him tired, and he doesn't lift weights because they're heavy. Thank goodness that he can play our glorious game while seated and enjoying an appletini. Without the golf cart, there would also be no beverage cart, and without those two things we might have been denied his fabulous contributions to the game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bFr-3pg4VE

[John Kavanaugh]

Golf is a fine way for an incredible bore to hold his audience captive for four hours.

[Melvyn Morrow]

I would assume that someone who is giving me detailed advice on a course has at least visited the course prior. But then again when it comes to you you never know what you're getting is real, fake, lies, or hyperbole.

Are you even related to Old Tom Morris? Or is that also exaggerated to prove a point?

Right its time to put up or shut up; do not know what system you have over there, but here its based upon one is innocent until proven guilty.

So come on the burden of proof is down to you, where is the proof.

I have to prove nothing, but I have documented proof from many of my visits i.e. tickets, bills, car park stubs, restaurant bills as well as hotel bill, but as the burden of proof is not down to me I leave it to you to put up or apologies for your comments.

Until I get that apology I will release zero, I will not help anyone from GCA including Ran from supplying contact details, names, e-mail address through to contacts and introductions. NO more posting maps or documents re GCA  - All that stops now, you question my integrity then why would others request assistance from me if it was all just fake.

You are what you are, I will let others decide for themselves. But info and help from me stops now.   

[Doug Ralston]

 [/quote]
I would assume that someone who is giving me detailed advice on a course has at least visited the course prior. But then again when it comes to you you never know what you're getting is real, fake, lies, or hyperbole.

Are you even related to Old Tom Morris? Or is that also exaggerated to prove a point?
[/quote]

Pat;

I have noticed that people who make brag about their bloodline have little else than the ego of that. Being so, I am inclined not to question of expose them. They need that.

Doug

[Melvyn Morrow]

Doug

Your reply #54 you said

Pat;

I have noticed that people who make brag about their bloodline have little else than the ego of that. Being so, I am inclined not to question of expose them. They need that.

Doug

Yet where in this whole thread have I mentioned OTM. I think before you open your mouth you should engage your brain because if you had taken the time to read this topic and all the 53 previous post you may – although I sometimes wonder if you have enough intelligence to notice that it was your friend Pat C who brought up the subject of OTM. His replies 13, 17 & 47 introduced the name and subject. Sometimes it helps if you read the topic that you intend to reply to otherwise it make you look like the prick you have made of yourself.

I wonder at times if my golfing bloodline is misconstrued by the dickheads on this site as some sort of penis envy, because it is rather childish.

So may I suggest you get a brain or penis transplant or just grow up.

[Sven Nilsen]

I'm starting to doubt whether Melvyn is actually from an english speaking country.  There are words in his posts, but they don't seem to register as comprehensible.

[Melvyn Morrow]

So why bother opening the post in the first place if that is how you feel.  But I understand, its like playing with a cart and distance aids because you cannot get committed to playing the game using your own brain and eyes.

Pity you could not stick to the topic, but then to expect more than a few seconds serious thought on golf seems totally beyond the ability of some in this site. Seems Goldfish may have a longer attention span than some.

[Sven Nilsen]

So why bother opening the post in the first place if that is how you feel.  But I understand, its like playing with a cart and distance aids because you cannot get committed to playing the game using your own brain and eyes.

Pity you could not stick to the topic, but then to expect more than a few seconds serious thought on golf seems totally beyond the ability of some in this site. Seems Goldfish may have a longer attention span than some.

I ran that through google translator and got the following:  "Melvyn a une arraignee au plafond."

[Melvyn Morrow]

Pity Sven that you can't stick to the Topic, after all is it not what this site is about.

But then you don't care, as you admit its way beyond you, so to prove the point you said 'There are words in his posts, but they don't seem to register as comprehensible.' 

So again I ask why post a reply to a topic that is way beyond your pay grade.   

[Bruce Bearer]

I'm relatively new on this site and I finally realized there are certain people's posts that end up being a waste of time to read through. 

One more on my list.....

[Sven Nilsen]

If I was getting paid to try to understand your monotonous drivel, I'm sure I'd find a way to feign interest and comprehension.  

[Melvyn Morrow]

Bruce

To come to that conclusion I take it that you have read every one of my topics or perhaps is that just part of this topic i.e. the last few posts.

Have you in fact read this post from start to finish including/ignoring the OT posts?

Or have you just decided to throw in a comment to show unity?

Sven, I ask you the same question have you read all the post on this topic?

I ask because if you have then you have every right to your comments relating to the Topic, however if you have not then that speaks volumes about you.

Just an observation - still no reference to the original topic in your replys/comments.

[Sven Nilsen]

Melvyn (assuming there really is a Melvyn) -

I read every post in this thread before making my first comment.  I almost gave up on it (and should have) when you starting referring to other poster's wives.  I am sure I'm not the only one that saw through your sleight of hand with that comment, we remember exactly what it was that you said about the poster's wife, and recall in extreme detail his justified and poignant response.  To complete the history, I for one am glad your wife read his response, someone in your family should have an idea of the ramifications of letting you near a computer.

Put me in the camp of folks that hope some day you'll come around and realize your monastic dedication to the theme of a return to the days of yore is tiresome.  You poised an interesting question in the title of this thread, and several posters provided excellent answers.  Its too bad you had to go and rain on the parade by hijacking your own thread with the same old record-skipping message.

As an advocate of walking, I would hope you are fully supporting the Hundred Hole Hike.  On Monday, myself and 11 other golfers each played over a hundred holes, while walking and abstaining from distance aids.  If you haven't pledge in support of one of the many great causes being supported by the effort, there's still time.  If you can't see fit to support your fellow lovers of golf as a game meant to be walked, I will be forced to consider you a bit of a hypocrite.

Sven

[Melvyn Morrow]

Sven

Melvyn (assuming there really is a Melvyn) –

Just what is the point in responding to you anymore

[Terry Lavin]

Find a suitable rock. Crawl under it.  Whine like a bitch, if you must, but go away. If you had the balls you claim, you'd follow through on your oft-stated threat to disappear. Not to worry, Mac will send an email.

[John_Cullum]

Why do all of you get so exercised about Melvyn's rants? Clearly he is a fascinating personality. So what if you disagree with him? I seriously doubt Melvyn loses any sleep because I play most of my golf from a cart and often use a range finder. Hell, I named my range finder Melvyn in his honor.

I hope on my next trip to Scotland I get to spend some time with him. I expect it to be a blast. I hope he'll let me buy.

[Mac Plumart]

Hell, I named my range finder Melvyn in his honor.


 

[Scott Warren]

John,

If your next trip to Scotland takes you to southern England where he lives, you just might run into Melvyn.

Melvyn,

Ironically, the best arguments against you on this site come from your own posts. Some of what you've offered in this thread is truly disgraceful.

[Mac Plumart]

Find a suitable rock. Crawl under it.  Whine like a bitch, if you must, but go away. If you had the balls you claim, you'd follow through on your oft-stated threat to disappear. Not to worry, Mac will send an email.

You know Terry, I've had it with your crap!!!  You are always taking cheap shots at me, throwing me under the bus, and trying to make me look bad.  I've had it!!  You obvioulsy don't read the full content of my posts and/or you are too stupid to understand them.  After all, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!?!?!

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!?!?!

Oh...wait a minute...uh...well...oops...strike that previous rant.

 

[Melvyn Morrow]

John

I love your sense of humour, its wicked – hope the thing plays you up from time or gives the wrong distance. Have just been to St Andrews for 24 hours, back again soon, so we may well meet up and yes the first round is down to you.

Terry
So this is how judges act in America, but with you I am not surprised.  What’s the complaints procedure, certainly relating to the International Academy? 

Mac
You know Terry, I've had it with your crap!!! You are always taking cheap shots at me, throwing me under the bus, and trying to make me look bad. I've had it!! You obvioulsy don't read the full content of my posts and/or you are too stupid to understand them. After all, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!?!?!

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!?!?!

Oh...wait a minute...uh...well...oops...strike that previous rant.

Really funny if it were not so sad, I now see your true colours, another good old boy.
 

[Tom Culley]

Melvyn,

" You may be playing cartball or mobile golf or Assisted Golf but it is not Golf. "

Do you genuinely feel that using a buggy should not be classed as playing golf? 

[Mac Plumart]

Really funny if it were not so sad, I now see your true colours, another good old boy.


 

WOW!!!  I'm truly stunned at how you interpret and analyze information.  It seems you haven't read/understood any of my post on this thread or any other ones.

I've recently said how motivating your posts were, I sincerely called you a friend on this very thread, and then you pull this kind of thing.  You now see my true colors?  Hmmm...  Okay.

[Melvyn Morrow]

Tom

I sincerely believe it’s a watered down variation of the game as it allows the player to always be fresh and relax against the fatigue incurred with walking. If riding had been regarded as part of the game then we may have seen it in the 19th Century. Riding is a copout, it was never part of the game for 6 Centuries. So why is it now, why has such a thing been allowed when it flies in the face of the tradition of the game?

Mac

If I have misunderstood your meaning then I do apologies unreservedly

[Scott Warren]

Melvyn,

It's 4am in England. Did you have a kip after your 1.30am post and then wake up to resume hostilities, or are you pulling an all-nighter?!