Rich, I think you missed the biggest reason, money.
For those complaining about rankings points on one tour versus another, this has been solved somewhat, in that the rankings points events receive are based on those who enter. So, if a Euro tour event has all of the top ranking Euros, and a few of the top Americans, it should receive as many or more points as an American tour event. The points follow the players. At least, that's the way it was last time I read up on it. There was talk of changing it, as the rankings became, in a sense, self-fulfilling, but I don't believe this change was made, because the only guy that ever really capitalized on it was Tiger, and it was clear to everyone he was the best, by a margin probably even greater than the ridiculous amount it once was.
If I were golf czar, I'd decree The Players a major, but that's just me; I'm happy with how it is now, not a major. I'd also look closely into whatever Euro Tour event is the best - the Volvo Masters? Euro PGA?
Then I'd move everything to Australia, along with my sorry butt...