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Pete Blaisdell

  • Karma: +0/-0
I got a phone call last night--------------
« on: December 14, 2011, 07:06:43 AM »
from a woman who identified herself and asked if I was the Mr. Blaisdell who is a rules official. I said yes and she said that her husband wanted to speak to me but I should be aware that he was heavily medicated. I'thought, --What the hell is this?--A man came on the phone and said--Pete , you probably don't remember me but I used to play in a number of USGA qualifiers back in the 90's. The name did ring a bell but I really could not place him. He said that there was a ruling at a Public links qualifier at Gardner municipal where there was a difference of opinion on a situation where two players had a heated discussion concerning a ball moved after address on the putting green.The man on the phone was the player involved and his fellow competitor was adament that the ball had moved. I was not the first official but was brought in as a second opinion because the first official was not sure how to rule on this. It came down to a simple he said-he said and I ruled for the player accused..

The man on the phone said --I have pancreatic cancer, I've been in the hospital for 7 weeks, nothing can be done, I came home to die. I want you to know that the ball did move and I cheated. I have carried this with me for years and I wanted to get it off my chest. It is the reason I stopped playing golf because I was so ashamed of myself. It is the only time in my life I cheated and I want to tell you I'm sorry that I lied to you and the other player..

I told the gentleman that I accept the apology and that it took guts to call . I said I would pray for him.--This really shook me up. I wanted to share this.
' Golf courses are like wives and the prom queen doesn't always make for the best wife "

Mark Chaplin

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2011, 07:08:48 AM »
Very moving and a brave call to make.
Cave Nil Vino

Ron Farris

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2011, 07:16:40 AM »
Prayers all around!  Golf is a powerful game in many ways.

Mark Pearce

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2011, 07:24:44 AM »
Let's hope he got the peace he hoped for from having confessed to his transgression. 
In June I will be riding the first three stages of this year's Tour de France route for charity.  630km (394 miles) in three days, with 7800m (25,600 feet) of climbing for the William Wates Memorial Trust (https://rideleloop.org/the-charity/) which supports underprivileged young people.

Tom_Doak

  • Karma: +3/-1
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2011, 07:32:14 AM »
A friend of mine has always insisted that there is a strong link between guilt and cancer ... that carrying around all the guilt for something like that will take its toll over time by weakening the immune system and making your body more vulnerable.  If that's so, here would be another case study.

I feel sorry for the gentleman in question and hope that he will be able to sleep more peacefully now.

Dean Paolucci

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2011, 07:39:56 AM »
That is a profoundly tragic story.  I hope he finds peace.
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."  --  Mark Twain

PCCraig

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2011, 08:11:49 AM »
After the first couple sentences of your post Pete I wasn't sure where you were going, but wow...what a touching story.
H.P.S.

Ben Kodadek

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2011, 08:14:55 AM »
A friend of mine has always insisted that there is a strong link between guilt and cancer ... that carrying around all the guilt for something like that will take its toll over time by weakening the immune system and making your body more vulnerable.  If that's so, here would be another case study.

I feel sorry for the gentleman in question and hope that he will be able to sleep more peacefully now.

Tom, if this were the case, there wouldn't be a Catholic alive past the age of 40. ;)

PCCraig

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2011, 08:17:46 AM »
A friend of mine has always insisted that there is a strong link between guilt and cancer ... that carrying around all the guilt for something like that will take its toll over time by weakening the immune system and making your body more vulnerable.  If that's so, here would be another case study.

I feel sorry for the gentleman in question and hope that he will be able to sleep more peacefully now.

Tom, if this were the case, there wouldn't be a Catholic alive past the age of 40. ;)

And not an Irishman over 20...  ;D
H.P.S.

Mac Plumart

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2011, 08:19:56 AM »
Brian S...

Golf, and the love of the game, is powerful.  I guess that is the only thing that can explain that.  Moving story. 
Sportsman/Adventure loving golfer.

Pete Blaisdell

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2011, 08:58:00 AM »
Tom-
  I think you have a point.

  I logged out to go out and take 2 of my grandchilden to school and on the way back I stopped at my church to light a candle for the gentleman in question.While I was there, the pastor came and I related the story to him. He said that people were inherently good but we are not immune from evil.He said that he was a bit confused why this gentleman's act had such an effect on his conscience as it was such a trivial situation. I said--father, do you play golf? He said no. I said, you need to understand the game to feel the man's pain. I told him that the game itself bordors on a religious experience at times for more people than you could imagine and that integrity and honesty is the heart and soul of the game. He said that perhaps he should investigate the game and try to understand it . I said--Come spring, I'll take you out for a round ,I have an extra set of clubs and I'm betting you will enjoy it.
 
  I have a good collection of books by Darwin and will drop one off to him tomorrow morning for some winter reading. Perhaps, another convert.

  Such an amazing game in so many ways. probably the most amazing phone call I ever got. I'll never forget the remorse and heartfelt contrition in the man's voice. I could sense the relief at the end of the conversation..
' Golf courses are like wives and the prom queen doesn't always make for the best wife "

Tim Gavrich

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #11 on: December 14, 2011, 09:08:42 AM »
Literature, television, and film seems to be full of stories about a man suddenly confronted with his or her own mortality.  He has been the kind of guy who plays it safe, doesn't take too many risks, etc.  But now that he knows he's going to die soon, he gets up the courage he never had before to go skydiving and do other risky things he was too chicken to do before.  The courage involved in that man's admission to you, Pete, is equal--probably greater--than anything else.  Incredible story.
Senior Writer, GolfPass

Ross Harmon

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2011, 09:15:59 AM »
Wow. Sad story. Glad we was able to reach you though and clear his conscious. Will pray for him as well.

Mike Nuzzo

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #13 on: December 14, 2011, 09:20:53 AM »
Prayers all around!  Golf is a powerful game in many ways.

I don't think Golf has the power - the person does.

Peace
Thinking of Bob, Rihc, Bill, George, Neil, Dr. Childs, & Tiger.

Bill_McBride

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #14 on: December 14, 2011, 09:47:59 AM »
What did Bobby Jones reply when someone praised him for calling a penalty on himself for an infraction nobody else saw?

Something about you might as well hold up a bank.

If ever in doubt about how to conduct oneself in golf, just take Robert Tyre Jones, Jr. as your model.

Joey Smith

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #15 on: December 14, 2011, 09:51:25 AM »
Thanks for sharing that Pete.  Has TM seen this?

Joey
I've only seen one that really stinks...but I seen a lot of really good ones...

Joe Leenheer

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #16 on: December 14, 2011, 10:07:35 AM »
What did Bobby Jones reply when someone praised him for calling a penalty on himself for an infraction nobody else saw?

Something about you might as well hold up a bank.

If ever in doubt about how to conduct oneself in golf, just take Robert Tyre Jones, Jr. as your model.




I think this is a testament of what kind of person this gentleman was...and an example of how passionate some people can be about golf.



Never let the quality of your game determine the quality of your time spent playing it.

Pete Blaisdell

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #17 on: December 14, 2011, 10:10:47 AM »
Joey
 I sent him the link to go to, yes I thought he would want to see it.
' Golf courses are like wives and the prom queen doesn't always make for the best wife "

jeffwarne

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #18 on: December 14, 2011, 10:25:42 AM »
Bill there may be a few who played with Jones early in his career that disagreed with you
"Let's slow the damned greens down a bit, not take the character out of them." Tom Doak
"Take their focus off the grass and put it squarely on interesting golf." Don Mahaffey

Ronald Montesano

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #19 on: December 14, 2011, 11:04:18 AM »
Agreed on early Jones...hopefully, we all grow up.

My cheating story took place in a team try-out at age 13...I was so ashamed to report a score that was not mine to my parents, that I silently vowed to never do so again. As KLynch will attest (being a post-40 Catholic myself), I putt all of them out.
Coming in 2024
~Elmira Country Club
~Soaring Eagles
~Bonavista
~Indian Hills
~Maybe some more!!

Wade Whitehead

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #20 on: December 14, 2011, 11:05:28 AM »
Imagine an NBA player admitting that he fouled an opponent but didn't admit it.

WW

John Kavanaugh

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #21 on: December 14, 2011, 11:08:24 AM »
How many calls do you think this mans wife had to make.  I can see myself on my death bed and telling my wife that I have a single confession to make that has haunted me for the last 20 years.  I cheated at golf, really???, she would never believe me and want to know what I was going to tell her before I came up with this lame story.  If this is the best death bed confession this guy can do he is either a saint or a very troubled man.  I really hope, for the sake of this mans soul, that this was way down on the list of his confessed transgressions.  

One other aspect of this story that troubles me is the fact that it is likely that he did not cheat at all.  Who hasn't taken a proper drop only to have some overzealous opponent question your opinion of what was correct.  Suddenly you start to question yourself and may even take another drop or forfeit the hole just to move on with your life.  Not to mention that this is the obscure call of did the ball move or did he address the ball at all.  Sounds like a judgement call where he won the tie as established by the rules.  That is not cheating.

Bill_McBride

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #22 on: December 14, 2011, 11:13:10 AM »
Bill there may be a few who played with Jones early in his career that disagreed with you

He had a terrible temper as a young guy, culminating in the pick up on the Eden hole at St Andrews, but I don't think anyone ever accused him of cheating.

Of course most of what we know of Jones was filtered through O. B. Keeler, so who really knows?

Pete Blaisdell

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #23 on: December 14, 2011, 11:24:47 AM »
John
  I spent 20 minutes on the phone with this gentleman and he was very detailed in his recollection of the incident. I'm still searching my memory trying to remember the details but I do know this. In that situation, and I've had similar situations many times in 34 years, I base my ruling on information that I get from anyone at the site, players, caddies, spectators , marshalls etc. I know what I would have asked the player. Simple question, did the ball move or didn't? I would have in all probability told the player the DEFINITION of BALL MOVED. The gentleman told me on the phone that he clearly knew the ball moved, no doubt but he simply lied to me in disputing his fellow competitor's claim. The gentleman knew instantly he had lied and cheated. No grey area here. The ball moved.
' Golf courses are like wives and the prom queen doesn't always make for the best wife "

John Kavanaugh

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: I got a phone call last night--------------
« Reply #24 on: December 14, 2011, 11:35:52 AM »
John
  I spent 20 minutes on the phone with this gentleman and he was very detailed in his recollection of the incident. I'm still searching my memory trying to remember the details but I do know this. In that situation, and I've had similar situations many times in 34 years, I base my ruling on information that I get from anyone at the site, players, caddies, spectators , marshalls etc. I know what I would have asked the player. Simple question, did the ball move or didn't? I would have in all probability told the player the DEFINITION of BALL MOVED. The gentleman told me on the phone that he clearly knew the ball moved, no doubt but he simply lied to me in disputing his fellow competitor's claim. The gentleman knew instantly he had lied and cheated. No grey area here. The ball moved.

Pete,

Have you researched to see how he finished in the tournament?  I think this could have a bearing in the validity of his story.

The only person who I really know is me and I can tell you that I have done things in my life that upon reflection are different than how they appeared to me at the time.  Even though I know what I did was not wrong the burden of guilt over years of better choices weighs heavy on the actions of my youth.