Mr. Lister #6 - Ten Private Clubs in Chicago to Claim Sickness if Invited

[Paul OConnor]

Since some of our members are too timid or PC.

Joliet - Perhaps the worst reconfigured routing on the planet, always soggy, too many goofy holes to list. 
Park Ridge - Too tight, too short, too flat, too boring.
Green Acres - More fountains than holes, that says it all.
Hillcrest - One stupid unmemorable hole after another with the 2nd worst routing ever.
Itasca - Snakes on a Plane part 2.  Stewardess, I'm gonna need a couple more drinks.
Merit - Should have remained a horse farm.
Ravinia Green - Someone please get me off this nightmare!
Royal Melbourne - Yawn, oh was that a golf course?
Wynstone - Oh good, another water hazard, saved me the airfare to play a shitty course in Orlando.
Rich Harvest - Alot has been said about this one, just not one single cohesive thought on the property.

Dis-honorable mention:
Calumet -  I can't hear you there are semitrailers going 75 mph 20 ft from the tee, it's a little loud.
Idlewild - For God's sake, would someone cut down some damn trees. 
 

[JR Potts]

Paul:

Terry and I have been discussing this at length off-line yesterday.

And I don't want to speak for him, but I lack the balls to post mine.

[Paul OConnor]

Ryan,

Are you afraid that you won't get invited to play?  You should be thankful!

Cheers

[Matt_Ward]

Can someone speak to the issue of Chicago muni's -- few ever get mentioned.

Is it fair to draw a straightforward conclusion as to why that is.

[K. Krahenbuhl]

Beautiful Paul.
I've played 3 on that list and you're spot on - not that it would surprise me.

[JR Potts]

Ryan,

Are you afraid that you won't get invited to play?  You should be thankful!

Cheers

No, that's not an issue (remember, I'm faking sick).  I don't want to offend my client/friends at these Clubs.  We members are a sensitive bunch.

[Peter Ferlicca]

I love this list, I think we need more of these to tell you the truth.  We always post lists on the best courses to play in the area, but never mention the MUST-NOT PLAYS.   Nothing is worst than getting advice from someone who doesn't know anything on what makes a good course tell you where to play, and then waste your time and money on a piece of sh*t.

Though it might be offensive to some people on this thread, or others who read it.  I think it would be very helpful to list courses in the big cities that one should stay away from at all costs.

[JR Potts]

Is it possible to get an alias for this thread?

Okay, I'll post two.

Lake Barrington Shores; and
Twin Orchards

[jeffwarne]

Often the people that work at golf courses (good,great, and bad)......


have lists of their own

[Terry Lavin]

Okay, I'll play.

Wynstone.  Phoned-in Nicklaus cookie cutter layout with too many half-assed cape holes with forced carries over "Barbie's Home Wetlands" and a plethora of holes with white stakes in some multi-millionaire lucky sperm club guy's backyard. 

Whew.  I feel better getting that off my chest.

[Patrick_Mucci]

Paul O'Connor,

Without constructive criticism, progress is impossible.

Perhaps you're right, we tend to praise good courses when we should also pan less than good courses.

Doing so might lead to improvements.

[J_ Crisham]

Lakeshore would be my pick. Great clubhouse and patio overlooking the lake but pretty mediocre golf course. Its a wonder Joel Hirsch can play this course without getting pretty bored. My vote for the worst course on the north shore.
                                                                              Jack

[Mark Smolens]

All I know is that you folks who are claiming illness rather than accepting an invitation to play someone's private club must have access to some pretty nice places. I don't consider myself to be an access whore, but if I get an invitation to play at a friend or acquaintance or even a friend of an acquaintance's private club, I'm generally going to try to make myself available.

Is Cress Creek, for example, a top tier private club in Chicago? Clearly not. But it's generally in good shape, with smooth quick tho smallish greens, ob left on almost every hole, and the site of a certain chop lawyer's first hole-in-one (May 18, 1980 btw). I would play there over any number of the public access courses in the District in a heartbeat (there's a CDGA Better Ball being conducted there that I will be signing up for on Monday);

Sorry big-time cc guys on the board but the tenor of this thread was snobbish, eliitist and unseemly. Just because a course is not an architectural giant does not mean that a pleasant afternoon with friends won't be had there or at many of the other courses on this "please miss" list. . .

[Chip Gaskins]

Wynstone.  Phoned-in Nicklaus cookie cutter layout with too many half-assed cape holes with forced carries over "Barbie's Home Wetlands" and a plethora of holes with white stakes in some multi-millionaire lucky sperm club guy's backyard. 

dude, that is an awesome description....you in marketing terry?

[Jud_T]

Mark,

The point of this site is to seperate the wheat from the chaff for discerning viewers.  Yes I can have a pleasant afternoon putting into a clown's mouth, but that don't make it a Doak 5.  And as a former member of one of the unmentionables, I'm not gonna lose a wink of sleep over chiming in.

[Terry Lavin]

Sorry big-time cc guys on the board but the tenor of this thread was snobbish, eliitist and unseemly. Just because a course is not an architectural giant does not mean that a pleasant afternoon with friends won't be had there or at many of the other courses on this "please miss" list. . .

There's surely a danger of that, which is why I am reluctant to enter the fray except with a little bit of humor.  Truth is, any place that we might tend to "pan" is still home to a lot of happy and privileged golfers.  In the spirit of healing and empathy perhaps we should just endeavor to say, hopefully without asperity that those tracks are not our cup of java.

But we'd be happy to lend our chainsaws to a bunch of them!

[PThomas]

But we'd be happy to lend our chainsaws to a bunch of them!

maybe I should start a thread "courses most desperately in need of tree removal"..

[Jeff_Brauer]

Not really on topic, but its fascinating to me that at the same time FLW was pioneering the "Prairie Style" to reflect Chicago (about 1910-1950) golf clubs were actively trying to disown Chicago's natural landscape tendency.

TMac might have something to say about this, because he has studied some of the influences on gca.  But, it doesn't appear Wright's influence carried over to golf, did it?  Instead of embracing a Chicago Style Golf Course, they simply tried to keep up with the Jones, being more influenced by the City Beautiful movements, etc.

[Paul OConnor]

"Sorry big-time cc guys on the board but the tenor of this thread was snobbish, eliitist and unseemly. Just because a course is not an architectural giant does not mean that a pleasant afternoon with friends won't be had there or at many of the other courses on this "please miss" list. . ."

BS.  Courses that are poorly designed, or poorly maintained, or both, should be identified.  Maybe the owners will accept the criticism and make improvements where possible.  Maybe they really don't care if they are playing a lousy course, or maybe they recognize the deficiencies and are unable to change them due to economic factors.  I certainly don't feel either snobbish or elitist in calling a dog a dog, if it's barking and wagging its tail, its a dog.

[PCCraig]

Sure there are alot of courses in the Chicago area that stink, aren't interesting, and not much fun to play on their own. But if invited, I can't imagine claiming sickness instead of playing golf.

Except Ravinia Green and Royal Melborne, those are terrible.

[Bill Seitz]

Sure there are alot of courses in the Chicago area that stink, aren't interesting, and not much fun to play on their own. But if invited, I can't imagine claiming sickness instead of playing golf.

Except Ravinia Green and Royal Melborne, those are terrible.

Yeah, I kind of assumed the title of the list was a bit tongue in cheek.  It's certainly a bit more chuckle-worthy than "Courses that aren't very good".  But I'm sure Paul realizes that there's more that factors into the decision to accept an invitation to play than simply the quality of the course.

Personally, my position on playing accepting an invitation to play golf is pretty similar to my position on beer.  You won't find any Miller-Lite in my refrigerator, and I'm not going to order a mass produced domestic if we go out to a bar, but if you're providing, I'll drink whatever you choose to put in front of me.  I have my own list of courses I'm not particularly fond of, but if you set up a game and make a tee time, I'm probably going to show up to play. 

[PCCraig]

Sure there are alot of courses in the Chicago area that stink, aren't interesting, and not much fun to play on their own. But if invited, I can't imagine claiming sickness instead of playing golf.

Except Ravinia Green and Royal Melborne, those are terrible.

Yeah, I kind of assumed the title of the list was a bit tongue in cheek.  It's certainly a bit more chuckle-worthy than "Courses that aren't very good".  But I'm sure Paul realizes that there's more that factors into the decision to accept an invitation to play than simply the quality of the course.

Personally, my position on playing accepting an invitation to play golf is pretty similar to my position on beer.  You won't find any Miller-Lite in my refrigerator, and I'm not going to order a mass produced domestic if we go out to a bar, but if you're providing, I'll drink whatever you choose to put in front of me.  I have my own list of courses I'm not particularly fond of, but if you set up a game and make a tee time, I'm probably going to show up to play. 

I don't know...it can be tough to accept a Milwaukee's Best (the Beast).

I agree re: the beer analogy.

If George Dunn is Miller Light, what does that make Chicago Golf? The Dark Lord??

[C. Squier]

Sure there are alot of courses in the Chicago area that stink, aren't interesting, and not much fun to play on their own. But if invited, I can't imagine claiming sickness instead of playing golf.

Except Ravinia Green and Royal Melborne, those are terrible.

Yeah, I kind of assumed the title of the list was a bit tongue in cheek.  It's certainly a bit more chuckle-worthy than "Courses that aren't very good".  But I'm sure Paul realizes that there's more that factors into the decision to accept an invitation to play than simply the quality of the course.

Personally, my position on playing accepting an invitation to play golf is pretty similar to my position on beer.  You won't find any Miller-Lite in my refrigerator, and I'm not going to order a mass produced domestic if we go out to a bar, but if you're providing, I'll drink whatever you choose to put in front of me.  I have my own list of courses I'm not particularly fond of, but if you set up a game and make a tee time, I'm probably going to show up to play. 

I don't know...it can be tough to accept a Milwaukee's Best (the Beast).

I agree re: the beer analogy.

If George Dunn is Miller Light, what does that make Chicago Golf? The Dark Lord??

Lol....just got home from 3 Floyds 5 mins ago!

[Bill Seitz]

I don't know...it can be tough to accept a Milwaukee's Best (the Beast).

I agree re: the beer analogy.

If George Dunn is Miller Light, what does that make Chicago Golf? The Dark Lord??

Still got three bottles of Dark Lord "cellared" in my closet.  Right next to five bottles each of Goose Island's Bourbon County Vanilla Stout and Coffee Stout, and some various Half-Acre specialty brews.  Should all be really good when they get a little age on them.

By the way, they just announced Dark Lord Day 2011 for April 30th.  

[PCCraig]

Sure there are alot of courses in the Chicago area that stink, aren't interesting, and not much fun to play on their own. But if invited, I can't imagine claiming sickness instead of playing golf.

Except Ravinia Green and Royal Melborne, those are terrible.

Yeah, I kind of assumed the title of the list was a bit tongue in cheek.  It's certainly a bit more chuckle-worthy than "Courses that aren't very good".  But I'm sure Paul realizes that there's more that factors into the decision to accept an invitation to play than simply the quality of the course.

Personally, my position on playing accepting an invitation to play golf is pretty similar to my position on beer.  You won't find any Miller-Lite in my refrigerator, and I'm not going to order a mass produced domestic if we go out to a bar, but if you're providing, I'll drink whatever you choose to put in front of me.  I have my own list of courses I'm not particularly fond of, but if you set up a game and make a tee time, I'm probably going to show up to play. 

I don't know...it can be tough to accept a Milwaukee's Best (the Beast).

I agree re: the beer analogy.

If George Dunn is Miller Light, what does that make Chicago Golf? The Dark Lord??

Lol....just got home from 3 Floyds 5 mins ago!

And? What did you get?