Justin,
Despite your description of yourself and your current situation, you may be EXACTLY the candidate for a National Club. The fees are lower private clubs, the dues are lower than private clubs, and you have limited time to devote to golf. For what you would spend for one day at one of the resorts you metioned, you and your wife (golfer or not) could spend three days at Ballyhack or Contentment. Nice short trip, solitude, private golf, local flare, etc. Maybe you just aren't aware of the price structure, but many of our members are realizing that you can have an "upscale", private, cost effective alternative to the traditional private club at reasonable prices. You just need to get there.
Lester