In the Valley of the Jolly, Ho..Ho..Ho...

[Marty Bonnar]

Imagine for a brief moment that you're a 100-foot tall, green-skinned, leaf-clad, mega-being.

With one sweep of your giant foot or a flick with one of your giant fingers you're able to alter anything on any golf course of your choice with no retribution (who's gonna argue with you?)

If it were me, I'd reach down and tear out some of those trees on the left side of the twelfth at Pine Valley, immediately returning the MOST fun that hole can offer.

Then I leap across the Atlantic and, using my massive instep, sweep most of the 14th and 16th fairways of the Eden at St Andrews into that stupid pond on 15, moulding the contours of the ground and losing the daftest feature on the Links in one fell swoop.

It's good to be a giant verdant power for good, isn't it...

FBD.

[Bill_McBride]

Imagine for a brief moment that you're a 100-foot tall, green-skinned, leaf-clad, mega-being.

With one sweep of your giant foot or a flick with one of your giant fingers you're able to alter anything on any golf course of your choice with no retribution (who's gonna argue with you?)

If it were me, I'd reach down and tear out some of those trees on the left side of the twelfth at Pine Valley, immediately returning the MOST fun that hole can offer.

Then I leap across the Atlantic and, using my massive instep, sweep most of the 14th and 16th fairways of the Eden at St Andrews into that stupid pond on 15, moulding the contours of the ground and losing the daftest feature on the Links in one fell swoop.

It's good to be a giant verdant power for good, isn't it...

FBD.

Would the Eden be better as a 16 hole course?

[Melvyn Morrow]

Marty

I would remove that building behind the 1st Tee on TOC where many Jolly Green looking mens meet, but I would leave the course alone.

As for the Castle Course, sorry I cannot print what I would do with that.

Melvyn

[Mike Sweeney]

I think I would simply step on the 3rd green at Yale and most of the greens at bethpage to make them more interesting.

[Bob_Huntley]

Melvyn,

I have noticed your animus toward  the R&A and its members, is there something that you are not telling us? Is it something that happened in the distant past concerning the tip of the forelock or some other slight toward a friend or relative? Surely it cannot be about the rules of golf.

Not all of us are ogres, or even green.


Bob

[Ally Mcintosh]

Melvyn, is your animosity solely towards the R&A... or towards both the R&A and the Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St Andrews?... If you took out the former and just let the latter have their clubhouse to relax in after a game, I presume you'd be happy for the building to stay?

I'm with Marty on The Eden... Here's a question though: I never saw the old Eden... There are actually quite a few new features on the course but the ones generally talked about are holes 14,15 & the mounding at 16 which are without doubt an abhorration... But what were the old holes like? Were the old 1,2,17 & 18 average, good or great golf holes?... I've seen the second green because it's still there as the practice green - it looks pretty wonderful...

[Dónal Ó Ceallaigh]

I'm with Marty on The Eden... Here's a question though: I never saw the old Eden... There are actually quite a few new features on the course but the ones generally talked about are holes 14,15 & the mounding at 16 which are without doubt an abhorration... But what were the old holes like? Were the old 1,2,17 & 18 average, good or great golf holes?... I've seen the second green because it's still there as the practice green - it looks pretty wonderful...

Ally:

Are making up words as you go along?

http://www.viewaskew.com/newboard/messages397/2041.html

Abhorration? Is this a combination of abomination+aberration?

Dónal.

[Ally Mcintosh]

I'm with Marty on The Eden... Here's a question though: I never saw the old Eden... There are actually quite a few new features on the course but the ones generally talked about are holes 14,15 & the mounding at 16 which are without doubt an abhorration... But what were the old holes like? Were the old 1,2,17 & 18 average, good or great golf holes?... I've seen the second green because it's still there as the practice green - it looks pretty wonderful...

Ally:

Are making up words as you go along?

http://www.viewaskew.com/newboard/messages397/2041.html

Abhorration? Is this a combination of abomination+aberration?

Dónal.

I stand corrected on my spelling... The general jist remains the same though...

[Sean_A]

I rather like "abhorration".  Its a word I could see used fittingly in many a situation. 

My first move as the JGG would be to drop a huge machine from the sky, sort of like a bottling machine, but instead of capping bottles it would rip out trees.  Where - Beau Desert of course.  My second move would be to use the same machine and rip out the rough.  Where - Beau Desert.  My third move would be to use the machine with altered tool heads to sprinkle some fine fescue seeds where the rough used to exist. 

Next course: I would send JGG down to Pennard and have him be mean to the powers that be.  Perhaps squash the house of the nummy that decided #2 needed to be radically altered and thus out of play for much of these past 4 years! 

The next move isn't so hard.  Get JGG to fashion a big cutting tool which hacks down rough on the sides of dunes - once a year.  Where - Burnham and Berrow. 

Sticking with courses I know well and love, JGG gets to walk across the ocean, no, he can have wings and fly across - why not?  Then he takes his cleverly conceived shovel and digs an entirely new bunker scheme for Grosse Ile. 

Finally, JGG gets to holiday down at Rye, but for this he must kick however much sand is necessary into that bleeding pond on #11.  While he is there, he can rip out some gorse down the left and use them as tooth picks.  I am convinced that the basic hole has nothing wrong with it.  If that water were a sandy waste I even think folks may think it a great hole.

Ciao

[Melvyn Morrow]

Bob

It would appear that you have forgotten my PM to you last year on the subject, but never mind.

As for the R&A I have no problem with it or its members. As I have said on here many times they have some very talented individuals, alas IMHO not in power. Some members of my family have or are Members although both my father and I decided years ago that was not the path we wanted to follow.

As for issues, yes I have a few some relating to the Governing of the Game of Golf and others related to their performance in St Andrews. On all accounts they have shown a total lack of understanding, flair, of being able to grasp the nettle and in short the simple ability to anticipate or plan for the future. As for a private members Club to entertain the fourth in line to the Crown they seem to excel. But is that what we want these days from our Governing Body.

Fear not I am not a Republican, I am an out and out Royalist but that does not mean we do not recognise the shameful antics of some free loaders. There is some value in being a Member of the R&A but not necessary on the courses, I am certain you understand my point.

Please do not misunderstand me I would dearly love to see The R&A fulfilling their obligations as The Governing Body of Golf. They are in St Andrews, much of my families trophies and treasures are within the walls of their club house, Old Tom spent 38 years looking after their interests on the golf courses. Nevertheless we must judge them on their performance of Governing and over the last 100 years it has been somewhat lacking.

If The R&A do not improve and yes I for one will certainly be calling for a new format, a new Governing Body allowing the R&A to revert back to its position as one of the oldest golfing clubs in existence. The writing is starting to be painted on the wall, I hope they take note and up their game for all our sakes. This is the time to see action in protecting the game not self preservation IMHO.

Bob as for your comment “Not all of us are ogres, or even green” I completely agree that is why my original words stated “where many Jolly Green looking men meet” – the key word was MANY no mention of ALL.

Melvyn   

PS Ally, I hope that answers your questions

PPS I was going to post a new Topic on The R&A along the lines of  “should they be allowed to continue Bing our Governing Body” but I felt that not enough on this site seem to care so have refrained from doing so.

[Tom Yost]

I'm with Marty on The Eden... Here's a question though: I never saw the old Eden... There are actually quite a few new features on the course but the ones generally talked about are holes 14,15 & the mounding at 16 which are without doubt an abhorration... But what were the old holes like? Were the old 1,2,17 & 18 average, good or great golf holes?... I've seen the second green because it's still there as the practice green - it looks pretty wonderful...

Ally:

Are making up words as you go along?

Abhorration? Is this a combination of abomination+aberration?

An abhorrent aberration?

[Ally Mcintosh]

Hey Melvyn,

I have not forgotten your PM.... The question was a little more subtle (and perhaps a tad togue in cheek)...

The R&A are no longer the same as The Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St.Andrews... They have split... Therefore, if you kicked the R&A (the governors) out of the clubhouse, would you be happy for it to remain as a golf club for fellas to recuperate after a round?