How do you play the game?

[Gib_Papazian]

JMEvansky,

Lovely, just what golf needs, another pedantic Armenian with a backswing as short as my temper and morals that match my ball flight.

Actually, it is impossible for anyone to give me a lesson because I am a schizophrenic head case with multiple swing disorder. I snap hook, then slice, roll in a 40 footer and fail to hit the hole from 18 inches. My sand game toggles between Seve and a skull through the kitchen window of the condo next to the green.

Last week I shot 49-36, and the front was far easier than the back. I missed three birdie putts inside of four feet but rolled in a pair of 60 footers after laying the sod over the ball with a sand wedge.

I play the game like Shivas except I need binoculars to see the 150 yard marker from my fag-daddy tees shots - and have not mustered up the courage to change my flat stick because I am sure that in no time I'll end up resorting to putting cross handed from the port side with a broom handle.

I've become a parody of all the middle-aged chops who could never quite get down below a 2 or 3 (and therefore non-competitive against "real players"), only to slowly degenerate into a driving range prophylactic who looks good striping irons at the pin - but a Parkinson's victim within 40 yards of the green.

Therefore, my scores toggle between Trombones (76) on an easy golf course to sheer embarrassment when forced at gunpoint beyond 6800 yards.

P.S. Did your parents change their name coming through Ellis Island? Evansky does not sound Armenian.

  

              

[Joe Bausch]

1) Do you prefer walking or riding?  Walking, but sometimes it just isn't practical, like when I'm playing with three of my good friends that all prefer to ride b/c of physical issues.

2) Do you use a rangefinder/GPS device to judge distance?  Bushnell (w/o the slope indicator, so it is legal).

3) Do you always play the ball as it lies?  Always?  No.

4) At one point is a putt "good?"  When it is a Fritzer. 

5) Do you keep a handicap?  Yes.

6) Do you generally wager?  Almost never.  IMO, betting brings out the worst in some people.  I play the occasional match against people for a very good reason:  pride. 

7) Under what weather circumstances will you not play?  Lightning, and temps below freezing.

8  ) Do you take lessons?  No.  I've had less than 10 lessons in my life, most when I was a teen.

9) Do you generally hit practice balls on the driving range before a round?  No (but I do try hard to strike a few practice putts).

10) Do you use a line on a golf ball to align your putt?  Nope.  No need to with the built in line on a Pro-V1 or Pro-V1x!

[George Pazin]

George:
Nothing, of course.

But can you really answer that question with a "yes"?
You have NEVER done so?  Never played in a scramble or under winter rules?  Absolutely never?

That's my sole and only point.  The wording of the question is silly.  Gib answered as most could or should... as did Schmidt and Arble and a few others... I find it odd anyone could really answer this with a simple yes, with a straight face anyway.

TH

I never viewed playing in a scramble as improving your lie. Playing in a scramble isn't even playing golf, imho. It's screwing around with golf clubs. That's like asking me if I've improved my lie on the range. I guess I just misunderstood the question.

[Tom Huckaby]

George:
Nothing, of course.

But can you really answer that question with a "yes"?
You have NEVER done so?  Never played in a scramble or under winter rules?  Absolutely never?

That's my sole and only point.  The wording of the question is silly.  Gib answered as most could or should... as did Schmidt and Arble and a few others... I find it odd anyone could really answer this with a simple yes, with a straight face anyway.

TH

I never viewed playing in a scramble as improving your lie. Playing in a scramble isn't even playing golf, imho. It's screwing around with golf clubs. That's like asking me if I've improved my lie on the range. I guess I just misunderstood the question.

How about winter rules?  Never done that?
Oh well, not the point.

Either you misunderstood the question or I did.  Either way, I think it's difficult at best to use absolutes when asking questions.  It just struck me as odd. I can't think of many things I have ALWAYS done, in golf or otherwise.

 

[George Pazin]

Nope, never played winter rules, don't even really know what that means. My own understanding of the rules is very limited, so I'm not criticising anyone else, I just don't get fooling yourself.

I've never improved my lie while playing a round on my own, which is how I interpreted the question. I never really understood those who did (many of whom I've seen are much better golfers than me - maybe I should learn something from that!). To me, that's like playing hoops with MJ and asking him not to block my shots - what's the point?

[Tom Huckaby]

George:

Gotcha.  I interepred the question as it was written, myself.  Do you ALWAYS play it as it lies?  Even one instance of not doing that means one must answer no.

So it's no great statement of principle here, just rather a smartass take on what I felt was a silly question.

But as long as we are discussing this principle.... note that I limited my weird take here to those who have played a lot of golf.  Would you say that includes you?  You're outside my definition, from what you have told me or posted here.  That is, you started late in life and haven't really played all that much relatively.  Thus I would say that if I allow that scrambles don't count (which I don't, if you swing a club on a course you are playing golf), you may be the one guy who really can answer this "yes."

In any case, the more one does play, the more one sees that it's no great principle or anything, it's more as Schmidt says - there's a time for Golf and a time for golf.

"Winter rules" must be a west coast thing - it's a form of cheating used when courses are playable, but not in great shape (wet, mud, etc.) - one bumps one's ball to a decent lie, more or less.  I once played in a tournament group where that's ALL they ever did, year round.  It did indeed speed play and soothe the egos of the hacks in that group.

But what the hell.  The main thing is I hate absolutes, absolutely.

 

[JMEvensky]

JMEvansky,

Lovely, just what golf needs, another pedantic Armenian with a backswing as short as my temper and morals that match my ball flight.

Actually, it is impossible for anyone to give me a lesson because I am a schizophrenic head case with multiple swing disorder. I snap hook, then slice, roll in a 40 footer and fail to hit the hole from 18 inches. My sand game toggles between Seve and a skull through the kitchen window of the condo next to the green.

Last week I shot 49-36, and the front was far easier than the back. I missed three birdie putts inside of four feet but rolled in a pair of 60 footers after laying the sod over the ball with a sand wedge.

I play the game like Shivas except I need binoculars to see the 150 yard marker from my fag-daddy tees shots - and have not mustered up the courage to change my flat stick because I am sure that in no time I'll end up resorting to putting cross handed from the port side with a broom handle.

I've become a parody of all the middle-aged chops who could never quite get down below a 2 or 3 (and therefore non-competitive against "real players"), only to slowly degenerate into a driving range prophylactic who looks good striping irons at the pin - but a Parkinson's victim within 40 yards of the green.

Therefore, my scores toggle between Trombones (76) on an easy golf course to sheer embarrassment when forced at gunpoint beyond 6800 yards.

P.S. Did your parents change their name coming through Ellis Island? Evansky does not sound Armenian.

  

              

Sorry, Polish not Armenian.

The "twins separated at birth" was mostly an agreement that,if one has the yips,lessons are pretty much pointless.Plus,I figure that anytime someone can segue Nicole Kidman into a golf rant,that rant should be memorialized for posterity.

[Bill_McBride]

Gib, any particular Nicole Kidman movie?

Moulin Rouge for me for sure.   

[George Pazin]

But what the hell.  The main thing is I hate absolutes, absolutely.

 

You don't hate absolutes, you just hate certain absolutes. I'll explain someday over a beer.

I barely play golf, I just argue about it online. Plenty play winter rules here, I just don't specifically know what they mean. Which rules do you ignore? Is there a guide to this somewhere? I will say, I'm amazed at how many golfers I see improving their lie at all times of the year, under any circumstances. Makes me wonder...

[Tom Huckaby]

No need, I understand perfectly.  Me saying I hate absolutes is an absolute in and of itself.  Of course I cannot hate all such.  But my head is starting to hurt.

As for the rest, you've got it now.  But winter rules are not complex - you just ignore the one most basic rule, that that states play it as it lies.

Quite seriously some do try to quantify it... that is, move it within 18 inches, a club length, whatever.  It is pretty silly.  But it's also pretty common.

TH

[John Moore II]

8  ) Do you take lessons?
I'm singularly unteachable. Unless I find a guru who can cure the yips, I'd rather spend my money on something more productive.
10) Do you use a line on a golf ball to align your putt?
What the f*ck is the difference? I couldn't roll in a putt if there was a trench cut all the way to the hole. My alignment is so bad I'm better off closing my eyes over the ball and thinking about Nicole Kidman than trying to use a line to fix my yips.

Funny you say you close your eyes. Does it work at all? It would have been the first thing I thought to tell you to do. Most people with the yips have some mental block or whatever you want to call it about looking at the ball. I think that is Barkleys problem, he's so worried about hitting a bad shot that he makes horrible swings; he's affraid of the ball, so to speak.

[Gib_Papazian]

Bill,

Eyes Wide Shut . . . . I am a Kubrick fan.

I'll watch anything with Nicole Kidman. Good thing I married a redhead, eh?

  

[Gib_Papazian]

John,

The most horrible thing about the yips is that I have no idea where they came from (I used to be supernatural with the flat stick) and the disease is like herpes. It comes and goes. I can play two rounds in a row with rock solid hands and nail every putt inside of ten feet like I'm putting into a manhole.

Suddenly, I'll get over a right-to-left three footer and nearly whiff. Then, back into the abyss for weeks and months, only to awaken one morning with nary a shake. I think the deity is cross with me and is trying to drive me insane before shutting off my lights for good.

I'm nice to small children and animals, so I don't know why I was singled out and made an example of . . . . . perhaps you have only so many three foot putts in you before your nerves are shot. It cannot be whiskey fingers because with a couple of margaritas, my stroke is as smooth as Bill Clinton with a horny intern.

The idea of playing with half a bag on every time goes against my grain - it is almost like cheating.

Tommy N sent me a yip cure once and I think it is time to give it a try. He rolls the ball like Crenshaw, so maybe there is hope yet.

Now, If I can just figure out how to chip the ball without skulling it across the green. It used to be so easy . . . . .       

[JMEvensky]

Bill,

Eyes Wide Shut . . . . I am a Kubrick fan.

I'll watch anything with Nicole Kidman. Good thing I married a redhead, eh?

  

You have very good taste,sir.Kubrick and Kidman is a serious quinella.

[John Moore II]

Gib-Yeah, the yips are a terrible thing. I used to play with a guy who years before had qualified for the PGA Championship as a club pro and had gotten very close to making the Senior US Open. All of a sudden, he couldn't take the club back from the ball. His starting move to get the club back used to be this little twitch of the right knee but once he started yipping, the knee just kept twitching and he couldn't get the club back. It was a sad sight, we called it his Elvis Knee. Really bad too, I once saw this guy shoot 64 on a 7100 yard course when he was like 53, and rarely did I see him shoot over 70 for the longest time. One of the last times I played with him though, he was lucky to shoot less than 85, and this was when he was maybe 56 or 57. What a fall.

[Kalen Braley]

I got a buddy who I swear could play at least the Nationwide tour if he didn't have the yips.

Anything under 6 feet and its game over.  He's seen shrinks, watched videos, been hyptonised, done all the excerices for yips...he's done everything.  And all that being said he still rountinly shoots under par even though he usually misses 3-4 short almost gimme range putts every time out.

[astavrides]

Bill,

Eyes Wide Shut . . . . I am a Kubrick fan.

I'll watch anything with Nicole Kidman. Good thing I married a redhead, eh?

  

You have very good taste,sir.Kubrick and Kidman is a serious quinella.

All you guys are wrong.  'To Die For' is the one.

[Patrick Kiser]

... It cannot be whiskey fingers because with a couple of margaritas, my stroke is as smooth as Bill Clinton with a horny intern.
       

There goes my beer up the sinuses...

Gig and the gift of gab.

Pretty damn funny.  Lol!

[herrstein]

1) Do you prefer walking or riding?
I walk unless dragged into some charity tournament.

2) Do you use a rangefinder/GPS device to judge distance?
Sometimes.

3) Do you always play the ball as it lies?
Always.

4) At one point is a putt "good?"
At the point it goes in the hole.

5) Do you keep a handicap?
Yes.

6) Do you generally wager?
If I'm not alone, or in a competition.

7) Under what weather circumstances will you not play?
Temperature below 40, lightning, wind over 50, course closed.

Cool Do you take lessons?
I've had 3 lifetime. Can give them to you in 5 minutes.

9) Do you generally hit practice balls on the driving range before a round?
Not usually. Before a competition I might hit 10 or so.

10) Do you use a line on a golf ball to align your putt?
No. I'm not all that good at choosing the line anyway, so what difference would it make?

Respectfully submitted,
Doug Stein

[JWinick]

Jim,

Welcome to the board.  I share your absolutism with respect to following the rules.   Even if I could get a break, I feel guilty getting one.   

1) Do you prefer walking or riding? Walking
2) Do you use a rangefinder/GPS device to judge distance? No
3) Do you always play the ball as it lies? Yes, absolutely, definitively 100% of the time.  I have never, ever improved my lie once in my entire life, not even in a scramble or tournament with LC&P in effect.    
4) At one point is a putt "good?" depends on the game / situation
5) Do you keep a handicap? Yes
6) Do you generally wager? Yes
7) Under what weather circumstances will you not play? Lightning or below 35*
8] Do you take lessons? Yes
9) Do you generally hit practice balls on the driving range before a round? I try to if time permits.
10) Do you use a line on a golf ball to align your putt? No

[JWinick]

Huge Kubrick fan.....

Bill,

Eyes Wide Shut . . . . I am a Kubrick fan.

I'll watch anything with Nicole Kidman. Good thing I married a redhead, eh?

  

You have very good taste,sir.Kubrick and Kidman is a serious quinella.

[JWinick]

Thank you all for your responses.  When I get a second, I will try to tabulate the results.   

In my everday life, I am someone who will bend the rules to try to "beat" the system.   You can't every compromise your integrity nor can you lie, but there are grey areas that I will exploit.  However, on a golf course, I follow the rules like a good German.   I don't know what it is, but the game of golf brings the best of of people's integrity.

On another note, what's everyone's opinion on a breakfast ball?   I generally do not like taking breakfast balls.   However, if it is allowed, I don't believe you should take one if your first drive is safe.   We play that, if you take a breakfast ball, you cannot keep the better ball.  You must play the second ball.   

[Mike Jansen]

GCA brethren,


1) Do you prefer walking or riding?  walking
2) Do you use a rangefinder/GPS device to judge distance?nope...prefer sprinkler heads and pacing dist. off
3) Do you always play the ball as it lies?99% of the time... i've fluffed up a few
4) At one point is a putt "good?"when its in the cup
5) Do you keep a handicap?yes... and falling rapidly
6) Do you generally wager?i never gamble on my game
7) Under what weather circumstances will you not play?it would hafta be reeeeaaally bad
 Do you take lessons?nothing formal or paid for
9) Do you generally hit practice balls on the driving range before a round?it's 50/50 on that
10) Do you use a line on a golf ball to align your putt?i have... now Titleist has it for me

[astavrides]

Thank you all for your responses.  When I get a second, I will try to tabulate the results.   

In my everday life, I am someone who will bend the rules to try to "beat" the system.   You can't every compromise your integrity nor can you lie, but there are grey areas that I will exploit.  However, on a golf course, I follow the rules like a good German.   I don't know what it is, but the game of golf brings the best of of people's integrity.

On another note, what's everyone's opinion on a breakfast ball?   I generally do not like taking breakfast balls.   However, if it is allowed, I don't believe you should take one if your first drive is safe.   We play that, if you take a breakfast ball, you cannot keep the better ball.  You must play the second ball.   

contradiction alert on paragraphs 2 and 3.

The only time I ever took a breakfast ball (as far as I can remember) without calling it my 3rd shot was in a better ball match with some of my relatives.  They all took one and then I hit a horrible drive.  I would have looked like a dick if I didn't take one.

[JC Jones]

Thank you all for your responses.  When I get a second, I will try to tabulate the results.   

In my everday life, I am someone who will bend the rules to try to "beat" the system.   You can't every compromise your integrity nor can you lie, but there are grey areas that I will exploit.  However, on a golf course, I follow the rules like a good German.   I don't know what it is, but the game of golf brings the best of of people's integrity.

On another note, what's everyone's opinion on a breakfast ball?   I generally do not like taking breakfast balls.   However, if it is allowed, I don't believe you should take one if your first drive is safe.   We play that, if you take a breakfast ball, you cannot keep the better ball.  You must play the second ball.   

contradiction alert on paragraphs 2 and 3.

You beat me to it!!! 

by the way, I heart breakfast ball.