I've never understood the need for a ballwasher. Doesn't one wipe their ball off before they putt, eliminating the need for a wash before they tee off? It's like using a wetnap before you get the ribs. If you insist on a washer, put it by the green (sarcasm). As for benches, they're adult musical chairs. Never big enough for a foursome, unless you like each other at a higher level. If I'm walking, my towel is just fine on the side of a hill.
As for Brad's sign, I have developed a serious case of on-course stage fright after being warned about jumping cholla. Luckily I kept away from it during my trip to Phoenix, but have a new appreciation for this particular subset of flora. My body is not a temple, yet this seemed like a risk too great to take.