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rjsimper

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #200 on: June 26, 2008, 09:14:12 PM »
Mike,

Thats not a DB move at all.  Wireless routers are cheap, you can put 2-3 in, have excellent coverage and do it all for under $200.  Chump change...

Emphasis on chump...

cary lichtenstein

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #201 on: June 27, 2008, 05:30:11 PM »
Douche Bags take a separate big divot on each practice swing on the range.
Live Jupiter, Fl, was  4 handicap, played top 100 US, top 75 World. Great memories, no longer play, 4 back surgeries. I don't miss a lot of things about golf, life is simpler with out it. I miss my 60 degree wedge shots, don't miss nasty weather, icing, back spasms. Last course I played was Augusta

Kalen Braley

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #202 on: June 27, 2008, 05:35:28 PM »
Douche bags carry on cell phone conversations during the round instead of letting the call go to VM.

Craig Sweet

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #203 on: June 27, 2008, 06:42:18 PM »
DB's use four carts when playing a foursome.
LOCK HIM UP!!!

Dean Stokes

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #204 on: June 27, 2008, 06:56:14 PM »
Dean, Are you that inexperienced and/or inefficient to not be able move along without disturbing your playing partners?

BTW, one doesn't need iron covers to mitigate the sound. They just make it easier than stuffing one's towel or hyper-extending one's elbow to gather them.

A DB shouldn't be something that's detectable by anything other than action or deed.
I must be Adam. So apparently is Steve Elkington.  :D
Living The Dream in The Palm Beaches....golfing, yoga-ing, horsing around and working damn it!!!!!!!

Bill_McBride

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #205 on: June 27, 2008, 07:42:50 PM »
DB's use four carts when playing a foursome.

Or sometimes five for a fivesome at our place. More like polo!

cary lichtenstein

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #206 on: June 27, 2008, 08:12:32 PM »
DB's use four carts when playing a foursome.

We have a group like that
Live Jupiter, Fl, was  4 handicap, played top 100 US, top 75 World. Great memories, no longer play, 4 back surgeries. I don't miss a lot of things about golf, life is simpler with out it. I miss my 60 degree wedge shots, don't miss nasty weather, icing, back spasms. Last course I played was Augusta

Dean Stokes

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #207 on: June 27, 2008, 08:22:41 PM »
How about the Douche Bag that tells you your score and your betting totals ($+/-) after every hole. Anybody met him?
Living The Dream in The Palm Beaches....golfing, yoga-ing, horsing around and working damn it!!!!!!!

Kevin_Reilly

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #208 on: June 28, 2008, 01:49:14 AM »
Which douche-bag in this thread left this message?

http://www.holytaco.com/2008/06/27/the-douchiest-phone-message-in-history/
"GOLF COURSES SHOULD BE ENJOYED RATHER THAN RATED" - Tom Watson

Pete_Pittock

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #209 on: June 28, 2008, 02:13:41 AM »
as your handicap raises from 10 to 14 in two months you become a     :D :o ::) :-[ :) :'(    :-* :-* :-*

Mike_Trenham

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #210 on: June 28, 2008, 07:30:43 AM »
Which douche-bag in this thread left this message?

http://www.holytaco.com/2008/06/27/the-douchiest-phone-message-in-history/

Classic it's long but it keeps getting funnier as it continues.
Proud member of a Doak 3.

Carl Nichols

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #211 on: June 28, 2008, 07:38:51 AM »
How about the Douche Bag that tells you your score and your betting totals ($+/-) after every hole. Anybody met him?

Met him? I'm playing with him this morning!

Sam Morrow

Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #212 on: June 28, 2008, 09:05:52 PM »
How about the Douche Bag that tells you your score and your betting totals ($+/-) after every hole. Anybody met him?

Met him? I'm playing with him this morning!

I used to play with a guy who would tell you what you lay before each shot. I'd be hitting my approach on a par 4 and he'd say, "Sam, you lay 1." I would then typically ask him an off the wall question that had nothing to do with golf.

Casey Wade

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #213 on: June 29, 2008, 10:07:29 AM »
You, off the wall questions?  NO!  I cannot believe THAT!

How about the Douche Bag that tells you your score and your betting totals ($+/-) after every hole. Anybody met him?

Met him? I'm playing with him this morning!

I used to play with a guy who would tell you what you lay before each shot. I'd be hitting my approach on a par 4 and he'd say, "Sam, you lay 1." I would then typically ask him an off the wall question that had nothing to do with golf.
Some people are alive simply because it is illegal to shoot them.

Kirk Gill

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #214 on: June 29, 2008, 10:25:53 AM »
I used to have a regular game with a friend of mine, and there was a particular hole on the course we often played that had a blind uphill second shot. One day as we walked up that fairway I said "A blind shot is only blind once to a golfer with a good memory." I'd just read that in some book. The next time we played there, I said it again, just because I tend to repeat myself. It seemed to bug him that I said it again, so from then on, every time we'd play that hole, I'd say it, and as time went on he seemed to get more hacked off about it. Sometimes I'd say it on the tee. Sometimes I'd wait until after the second shot. I knew he was waiting for it, I knew he expected it, and he knew I was gonna say it, and it irritated him. I don't know why. It was the 16th hole, and thus a great time to get him hacked off and off his game, if we were still in close competition for the after-round coca-cola. I used it to my advantage.

Was I being a douchebag? Do douchebags ever prosper?
"After all, we're not communists."
                             -Don Barzini

Sam Morrow

Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #215 on: June 29, 2008, 12:04:38 PM »
You, off the wall questions?  NO!  I cannot believe THAT!

How about the Douche Bag that tells you your score and your betting totals ($+/-) after every hole. Anybody met him?

Met him? I'm playing with him this morning!

I used to play with a guy who would tell you what you lay before each shot. I'd be hitting my approach on a par 4 and he'd say, "Sam, you lay 1." I would then typically ask him an off the wall question that had nothing to do with golf.


Who will change your spikes today in the car? :D

Wayne_Freedman

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #216 on: June 29, 2008, 07:42:33 PM »
DB's are guys with lousy skills who play slow for big money.

Played a round with two of them at a nouveau private club about a year ago. By the time they reached the par-4 #16, they had $1500 on the line.

Douche Bag A defeated Douche Bag B with a double bogey 6.

That round took more than five hours, and they remained oblivious. 



Paul OConnor

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #217 on: January 21, 2011, 01:54:31 PM »
I think every year we should have nominees for DB of the year on this site.  Winner gets booted.


Since the topic of douchebags has resurfaced...

Michael Dugger

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #218 on: January 21, 2011, 02:39:58 PM »
Douche bag spends far too much time buying four mini bottles of liquor from the cute cart girl so he can add it to the liter of coke he smuggled onto the course.

And he'll do so without any regard for the group behind him, all the while being far too smarmy to said hot cart girl.  Making a spectacle of how much he's tipping her, asking for a cup of ice and/or lemons/limes for his concoction.
What does it matter if the poor player can putt all the way from tee to green, provided that he has to zigzag so frequently that he takes six or seven putts to reach it?     --Alistair Mackenzie--

Dave Falkner

Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #219 on: January 21, 2011, 02:58:10 PM »
Jed,

The Sikorsky is the safer throw and from what I have seen the club survives but, the guy throwing the club usually ends up hurting his back throwing in anger and frustration.  It really is an amazing sight to watch a club get thrown 100 yards down the fairway while it spins in the air like rotor.  In my years playing and even tournaments the tomahawk can be deadly to golf clubs for damage.  More than likely someone in your group will have at least one or two flings in your round just to blow off some steam.

3 days before my 1st wedding playing Westhampton with some caddies on a weekday afternoon this guy puts his drive ob on 6 and attempts the sikorsky

I am about 20 yds behind and to the left he holds on to it too long it comes over his shoulder and hits me right in the chin (i gues  his late release was the reason for the ob shot)   thank god I am of good gaelic stock and nothing happens to my mug

my hand did hurt a bit  but that is another story

Rory Connaughton

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #220 on: January 21, 2011, 04:25:46 PM »
The worst I have ever seen.

A group of 8 from out of the area contacted our pro in order to gain access on the Wednesday following a recent international team event.  He put them in touch with me and I offered to put together a group and give them a match.  The out of town group arrived and I directed them to the pro so that they could sign in pay the accompanied guest rate.  All seems to be going well and we are out on the course when the leader of the group tells me what a nice day they had they day before at a well known club in the region and how nice it was that they got to play for free and that the pro comped them dinner.  Since this is about a $2000 plus proposition and knowing the club a little I was suspicious.  Later in the round our pro comes out and privately tells me that no one had paid yet and would I mind making sure that they came through the pro shop on the way in to take care of the charge. 

We come in and I herd the group through the pro shop. They all stop, reach for their wallets but no one has one.  They report that they are going to the locker room to get them and will be back.  Thinking that it is taken care of, I bring them into the bar after a stop in the locker room and buy drinks and some snacks for the group.  At some point before they leave the pro pulls me aside and tells me that they still haven't paid. At that point I am forced to stand them up and march them back to the pro shop (the whole they are tut tutting about how they need to take care of that). While they are paying I mentioned to the pro that they claimed to have been comped the day before and gave him the name of the club.

He calls the pro only to find that nothing had been comped and that these guys had skipped out on paying for the round and not only had he not comped the dinner, the leader of the group lied to the waitress about said comp and got away with it because she lacked the confidence to go and ask the pro whether it was correct.

By the time all was said and done, we finally got the rounds at our place paid for and managed to help the other club collect what was owed as well.  And we beat them in 12-4 in the match.

If that was not the biggest group of db's the person that beats this crew must be really really sinister!

Carl Johnson

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #221 on: January 21, 2011, 04:58:55 PM »
The worst I have ever seen.

A group of 8 from out of the area contacted our pro in order to gain access on the Wednesday following a recent international team event.  He put them in touch with me and I offered to put together a group and give them a match.  The out of town group arrived and I directed them to the pro so that they could sign in pay the accompanied guest rate.  All seems to be going well and we are out on the course when the leader of the group tells me what a nice day they had they day before at a well known club in the region and how nice it was that they got to play for free and that the pro comped them dinner.  Since this is about a $2000 plus proposition and knowing the club a little I was suspicious.  Later in the round our pro comes out and privately tells me that no one had paid yet and would I mind making sure that they came through the pro shop on the way in to take care of the charge. 

We come in and I herd the group through the pro shop. They all stop, reach for their wallets but no one has one.  They report that they are going to the locker room to get them and will be back.  Thinking that it is taken care of, I bring them into the bar after a stop in the locker room and buy drinks and some snacks for the group.  At some point before they leave the pro pulls me aside and tells me that they still haven't paid. At that point I am forced to stand them up and march them back to the pro shop (the whole they are tut tutting about how they need to take care of that). While they are paying I mentioned to the pro that they claimed to have been comped the day before and gave him the name of the club.

He calls the pro only to find that nothing had been comped and that these guys had skipped out on paying for the round and not only had he not comped the dinner, the leader of the group lied to the waitress about said comp and got away with it because she lacked the confidence to go and ask the pro whether it was correct.

By the time all was said and done, we finally got the rounds at our place paid for and managed to help the other club collect what was owed as well.  And we beat them in 12-4 in the match.

If that was not the biggest group of db's the person that beats this crew must be really really sinister!

Rory, I would not call these guys db's, because that's too kind.  They're crooks.  I wish the first club had sworn out warrants for their arrest and had followed up with appropriate prosecutions.

Carl

J_ Crisham

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #222 on: January 21, 2011, 05:00:52 PM »
Rory, Your story is pretty incredible- my experience at Lancaster was wonderful and quite frankly one that still comes up when we discuss special clubs. Hope to bring some guys back from Chicago this season- we would gladly pay to play at your place!vHope we can also reciprocate in Chicago.   Wish you well, Jack

Jason Walker

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #223 on: January 21, 2011, 06:28:50 PM »
D-bag is too kind, you should call them out by name and club.

Jason Topp

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #224 on: January 21, 2011, 09:04:01 PM »
Douche bag conundrum:

Season long four ball match play event.  2nd or 3rd round.  One of my opponents starts very well.  He is a true 9 handicap and is even par after 6 holes and they are well up in the match.  I say to him on the 7th tee:  "You are playing well."  He explodes in anger, claiming I was trying to get in his head.  Actually I was trying to start some sort of conversation.

He berated my for 2 or 3 holes.  He made some bogeys.  I got irritated and started to play better.

I honestly cannot remember how the match finished but, I thought he was a d-bag.  He clearly thought I was. 

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