Paired With A Douche Bag

[J_ Crisham]

I'm sure everyone has nightmare stories about a pairing. My worst ever was today. I was invited to play at a public facility by a friend to play in a mens day outing. My foursome consisted of myself , friend, stranger, and stranger . Hndcps 10, 12 ,19, and 3. the 3 stated before we teed off that we would be rolling them in the fairways because of the soggy fairways. On the 2nd hole said 3 Hndcper is a fairway over and lift clean and places. No big deal its a friendly game. On the the 6th hole the poor 19 hndcpr is verbally chastized for taking an improper drop after hitting into a lateral and is wrongly advised by the 3 that he must hit from the same position as his previous shot. This led to them tracking back 170yds. Being a distance away I didn't know what transpired until after the fact. On 7 my ball came to rest on the edge of a cart path. As i prepared to take my drop said 3 stated it would cost me a stroke as only relief of stance is allowed when asphalt paths are concerned. The fact that I was only 1 over at this point, I became unglued and stated  the rule regarding relief of swing and stance. This alleged 3 was quite confrontational and said you must take a stroke. As he was a very large individual I let it ride. Had I been 20 yrs younger I would have wrapped a 1 iron around his neck. If I had SAS training I would kill him with my barehands.Where is Bob Huntley when I need him? Instead I stewed and shot 40 on the front 9 .The 3 shot 51 and quit after 9 stating he just didn't have it today. Some days it pays to play with people you know and respect not to mention people who respect the game enough to at least have a vague knowledge of the rules.  Jack

[Phil_the_Author]

So when the lout departed, what did you shoot on the back nine?

[J_ Crisham]

Philip, I shot a very loose 43 which was not very good but I must admit to just mentally losing it after watching this self professed 3 shoot 51 and verbally abuse his playing companions. As an aside, after the round the pro apologized for the pairing and added that said 3 shot 101 the previous Sunday. He added that said 3 plays alone frequently. Everyone has a nightmare story -  what say you all ?

[RJ_Daley]

Back about 25 years ago, when I was just starting to play regularly, I tried to get my wife interested.  I bought her a set of clubs, and started to take her to our well known 9 hole short par 32 muni, Glenway GC (for you Mad town guys)  .  One day, we were told a 'new to the game' lady golfer would be joining us.  It was my wife's maybe third time playing the game.  A 30 something lady dressed not too well, joined.  We got about 3 holes into it, and on a tee that is adjacent to a gully that goes down then up to train tracks, she said she had to pee, went just a ways down into the bushes, clearly still in view, dropped her shorts and tinkled right there.   My wife never did get into the game... She knows guys do it all the time, but thinks maybe women do to...  

[K. Krahenbuhl]

Nice playing Jack...

See if you can schedule that 3 for a money game the next time I'm in town and if you ever need someone to come to your aid with a one iron you know how to get in touch.

[cary lichtenstein]

We'll all been paired with a douche bag, some worse than others.

It's when some guy that for some reason gets under your skin has joined your pick up game and you have to play with him over and over again or leave the game. That's when  it gets bad.

I had a big customer who was a clossal douche bag, nuts, preverted. He made me jump thru hops. Most douche bags know they are douche bags, and enjoy doing what they do. Psychiatists must have a better than for these characters.

[Mike Golden]

I'm sure everyone has nightmare stories about a pairing. My worst ever was today. I was invited to play at a public facility by a friend to play in a mens day outing. My foursome consisted of myself , friend, stranger, and stranger . Hndcps 10, 12 ,19, and 3. the 3 stated before we teed off that we would be rolling them in the fairways because of the soggy fairways. On the 2nd hole said 3 Hndcper is a fairway over and lift clean and places. No big deal its a friendly game. On the the 6th hole the poor 19 hndcpr is verbally chastized for taking an improper drop after hitting into a lateral and is wrongly advised by the 3 that he must hit from the same position as his previous shot. This led to them tracking back 170yds. Being a distance away I didn't know what transpired until after the fact. On 7 my ball came to rest on the edge of a cart path. As i prepared to take my drop said 3 stated it would cost me a stroke as only relief of stance is allowed when asphalt paths are concerned. The fact that I was only 1 over at this point, I became unglued and stated  the rule regarding relief of swing and stance. This alleged 3 was quite confrontational and said you must take a stroke. As he was a very large individual I let it ride. Had I been 20 yrs younger I would have wrapped a 1 iron around his neck. If I had SAS training I would kill him with my barehands.Where is Bob Huntley when I need him? Instead I stewed and shot 40 on the front 9 .The 3 shot 51 and quit after 9 stating he just didn't have it today. Some days it pays to play with people you know and respect not to mention people who respect the game enough to at least have a vague knowledge of the rules.  Jack

Jack, I would have reacted in exactly the same manner as you except I might have quit before he did.  Congratulations on being able to survive, you get a big red badge of courage for that one.  A couple of months ago I was playing at the local muni with two Asians who for 10 holes kept standing in my peripheral vision while I was putting, something that really bothers me and usually makes me putt really, really badly.  On #11 I was putting from 35' and they did something else that was irritating-I left the putt about 5' short, walked up to putt out, and one of them started yelling at me that I had to wait to putt.  I told them that continuous putting was in the rule book, putted out, and walked off the golf course.  I really wanted to do so much more

[Criss Titschinger]

As an aside, after the round the pro apologized for the pairing and added that said 3 shot 101 the previous Sunday. He added that said 3 plays alone frequently. Everyone has a nightmare story -  what say you all ?

Before I joined my Club w/o Real Estate, I was often in the opposite place where I joined a group that I didn't take kindly to.  Thankfully, I have players I know and like most of the time I play.  At least the pro apologized, I guess.

As an aside, we have a member who says he plays to a +3 but has never broken 80 while playing with us.  All of his high rounds are non-Club rounds.

[Dan Kelly]

I wonder. Is this sort of analogous to that poker game / sucker thing?

If you don't know who the douche bag in the group is ...

To the tune of "Party Pooper":

Ev'ry foursome has a douche bag,
That's why we invited you.
Foursome douche bag!
Foursome douche bag!

[Bill_McBride]

One time years ago I was invited to play in a tournament sponsored by a client, and played in the group with the client's executive director.  Here was another classic douche bag, the guy who thinks he's about 20 shots better than he is.  We all played our own ball, no scramble, and 14 times he announced, "I'm going to show you guys how to hit a one iron," and proceeded to hook, pull, top, shank, or otherwise mutilate the shot with said one iron.

It was a very long 5 hours.

[Mike Golden]

One time years ago I was invited to play in a tournament sponsored by a client, and played in the group with the client's executive director.  Here was another classic douche bag, the guy who thinks he's about 20 shots better than he is.  We all played our own ball, no scramble, and 14 times he announced, "I'm going to show you guys how to hit a one iron," and proceeded to hook, pull, top, shank, or otherwise mutilate the shot with said one iron.

It was a very long 5 hours.

Bill, the guy obviously had taken Lee Trevino's quote about holding a 1 iron over his head the next time there was lightning in the area because 'not even God can hit a 1 iron' way too seriously

[John Kavanaugh]

A couple of months ago I was playing at the local muni with two Asians who for 10 holes kept standing in my peripheral vision while I was putting, something that really bothers me and usually makes me putt really, really badly.  On #11 I was putting from 35' and they did something else that was irritating-I left the putt about 5' short, walked up to putt out, and one of them started yelling at me that I had to wait to putt.  I told them that continuous putting was in the rule book, putted out, and walked off the golf course.  I really wanted to do so much more

Another example of Asian golf hate.   Walking off the course because someone is standing in your peripheral vision is irresponsible race baiting behavior.  We have a responsibility to teach douch bags golf etiquette for whomever may be paired with them next, so please accept this post in that spirit.

[John_Cullum]

Young female Asians likely get a pass too

[Mike Golden]

A couple of months ago I was playing at the local muni with two Asians who for 10 holes kept standing in my peripheral vision while I was putting, something that really bothers me and usually makes me putt really, really badly.  On #11 I was putting from 35' and they did something else that was irritating-I left the putt about 5' short, walked up to putt out, and one of them started yelling at me that I had to wait to putt.  I told them that continuous putting was in the rule book, putted out, and walked off the golf course.  I really wanted to do so much more

Another example of Asian golf hate.   Walking off the course because someone is standing in your peripheral vision is irresponsible race baiting behavior.  We have a responsibility to teach douch bags golf etiquette for whomever may be paired with them next, so please accept this post in that spirit.

that's fucking bullshit, John.  I belonged to a private club with at least 30% Asian members for 5 years and some of them were my favorite playing partners.

I don't have a prejudiced bone in my body, unlike some occasionally drunken cement contractors who delight in making something out of nothing.

[W.H. Cosgrove]

A couple of months ago I was playing at the local muni with two Asians who for 10 holes kept standing in my peripheral vision while I was putting, something that really bothers me and usually makes me putt really, really badly.  On #11 I was putting from 35' and they did something else that was irritating-I left the putt about 5' short, walked up to putt out, and one of them started yelling at me that I had to wait to putt.  I told them that continuous putting was in the rule book, putted out, and walked off the golf course.  I really wanted to do so much more

One thing at a time!

Another example of Asian golf hate.   Walking off the course because someone is standing in your peripheral vision is irresponsible race baiting behavior.  We have a responsibility to teach douch bags golf etiquette for whomever may be paired with them next, so please accept this post in that spirit.

We have several asian(Korean)Members.  The pro was having real difficulty getting them to wait for their tee time, play at a reasonable pace, follow dress codes etc.  Finally completely exasperated he had another Korean member, with a better grasp of the language, translate the club rules.  Lo'and behold their act got much better.  They still play to darn slow as they settle their bets AFTER EVERY HOLE! 

So I guess its a matter of understanding the issues, not throwing accusations about.

[rjsimper]

A couple of months ago I was playing at the local muni with two Asians who for 10 holes kept standing in my peripheral vision while I was putting, something that really bothers me and usually makes me putt really, really badly.  On #11 I was putting from 35' and they did something else that was irritating-I left the putt about 5' short, walked up to putt out, and one of them started yelling at me that I had to wait to putt.  I told them that continuous putting was in the rule book, putted out, and walked off the golf course.  I really wanted to do so much more

Another example of Asian golf hate.   Walking off the course because someone is standing in your peripheral vision is irresponsible race baiting behavior.  We have a responsibility to teach douch bags golf etiquette for whomever may be paired with them next, so please accept this post in that spirit.

that's fucking bullshit, John.  I belonged to a private club with at least 30% Asian members for 5 years and some of them were my favorite playing partners.

I don't have a prejudiced bone in my body, unlike some occasionally drunken cement contractors who delight in making something out of nothing.

Okay I'll ask...why then the need to mention that the people to whom you referred were Asian?  The original poster made no mention of race in his complaint and the story was relayed perfectly well.

I say this admitting two things - one, that I am of mixed race (half asian) and two that I am guilty of the same fault at times.

[Mike Golden]

I give up, enjoy this forum and all the bullshit arguments about nothing, I've had enough.  I would have already deleted my account if that was still allowed.

[John Kirk]

Mike,

Please take however long necessary to cool down and stick around.

John,

1.  You must have known you would offend Mr. Golden with that remark.
2.  I disagree that it is "our responsibility to teach douche bags golf etiquette for whomever may be paired with them next".
3.  You're hijacking this enjoyable thread.

"Asian golf hate" is the equivalent of tabloid fodder for this board, and this thread is about douche bags.

[Casey Wade]

When I first saw this, I cringed thinking about when you were down here in Texas and we played together!

I'm sure everyone has nightmare stories about a pairing. My worst ever was today. I was invited to play at a public facility by a friend to play in a mens day outing. My foursome consisted of myself , friend, stranger, and stranger . Hndcps 10, 12 ,19, and 3. the 3 stated before we teed off that we would be rolling them in the fairways because of the soggy fairways. On the 2nd hole said 3 Hndcper is a fairway over and lift clean and places. No big deal its a friendly game. On the the 6th hole the poor 19 hndcpr is verbally chastized for taking an improper drop after hitting into a lateral and is wrongly advised by the 3 that he must hit from the same position as his previous shot. This led to them tracking back 170yds. Being a distance away I didn't know what transpired until after the fact. On 7 my ball came to rest on the edge of a cart path. As i prepared to take my drop said 3 stated it would cost me a stroke as only relief of stance is allowed when asphalt paths are concerned. The fact that I was only 1 over at this point, I became unglued and stated  the rule regarding relief of swing and stance. This alleged 3 was quite confrontational and said you must take a stroke. As he was a very large individual I let it ride. Had I been 20 yrs younger I would have wrapped a 1 iron around his neck. If I had SAS training I would kill him with my barehands.Where is Bob Huntley when I need him? Instead I stewed and shot 40 on the front 9 .The 3 shot 51 and quit after 9 stating he just didn't have it today. Some days it pays to play with people you know and respect not to mention people who respect the game enough to at least have a vague knowledge of the rules.  Jack

[Peter Pallotta]

I wonder. Is this sort of analogous to that poker game / sucker thing?

If you don't know who the douche bag in the group is ...

Dan - this got me thinking about what posts would look like on another golf discussion board, a very different discussion board.

"So we get stuck with this single, says he's a 6 handicap but all he's doing is hitting punched 4 irons 140 yards, and he starts talking about all the great courses he's played -- this here, that there, yada, yada, I hadn't heard of a freaking one of them -- so to shut him up I mention that Fazio course in Vegas and suddenly it's like he's seen a freaking ghost. Now he's giving me the silent treatment, so to try to make nice and I say 'jump in the cart', but get this: not only does he say 'no' like I'd just offended him, but he tells me that it's not golf if you're not walking! Worse freaking day I've had on a golf course in years. Serves me right for playing a cheap muni so early in the morning..."

Peter 

[Dan Kelly]

I wonder. Is this sort of analogous to that poker game / sucker thing?

If you don't know who the douche bag in the group is ...

Dan - this got me thinking about what posts would look like on another golf discussion board, a very different discussion board.

"So we get stuck with this single, says he's a 6 handicap but all he's doing is hitting punched 4 irons 140 yards, and he starts talking about all the great courses he's played -- this here, that there, yada, yada, I hadn't heard of a freaking one of them -- so to shut him up I mention that Fazio course in Vegas and suddenly it's like he's seen a freaking ghost. Now he's giving me the silent treatment, so to try to make nice and I say 'jump in the cart', but get this: not only does he say 'no' like I'd just offended him, but he tells me that it's not golf if you're not walking! Worse freaking day I've had on a golf course in years. Serves me right for playing a cheap muni so early in the morning..."

Peter 

Perfect. Bravo.

How'd you know how long my punched 4-irons have been going? Oh, and you forgot "fat." Fat, punched 4-irons.

[Kirk Gill]

We have a responsibility to teach douch bags golf etiquette for whomever may be paired with them next, so please accept this post in that spirit.

Since I learned the game playing on the local municipal and without a lot of instruction in golf etiquette, I am in constant fear of the "douche bag effect" when playing with better golfers. I wouldn't in a million years consider getting on a playing partner about their rules violations as the douchebag in the original post did, but I'm certainly capable of a "peripheral-vision" error, or something worse. Not that it's anyone's "responsibility," but I'd sure appreciate it if someone would let me know if I do something that offends. Without, of course, wrapping a club around my head for it.........

[John Kavanaugh]

John,

What would you call a guy who walks off the course because he didn't like where you were standing when he putts?  I am on topic calling Mike out.

What good are we as golfers if we don't protect the field from breaches of etiquette as well as rules infractions?  I am simply trying to help Mike learn about his hurtfull language as I have learned myself from people on this site I have offended.

I do hope Mike got a refund for being paired with such douche bags...at least for the back nine.

[Adam Clayman]

Bad etiquette should not trump good manners on the golf course. If someone thinks you're a douchbag for asking them to correct improper etiquette, who's the DB?
People do shy away from communicating corrective actions that bother them from the less experienced. They let it fester and eventually snap like Mike just did. A simple "Please move off my line", or, "please don't move while I'm swinging" is all one has to say. And in Mike's case, stack around just stay off the OT bandwagon.

[John Keenan]

When paired with someone like those described above the best advice is to just play you game and in effect ignore them. You are not going to "teach them a lesson" or change them.

Same plan can be applied to posts on GCA as well.

John