There is, of course, an answer to this. It involves simply changing the perception of the masses.
We did it with soft spikes.
We did it with tree removal.
We did it by convincing most clubs that "hard par easy bogey" was not workable for club play.
And vast amounts of progress is being made to beat back the perception that "brown is bad."
This can be done, and it begins in places like this website because Ran's little idea has blossomed into an incredibly well-respected and influential forum for opinions.
I remember Brad Klein and I arguing one day about this board; his contention was that only a tiny percentage of the players in the world know anything of its existence - nor could comprehend half of what is discussed here.
Yet, how many times have I gotten strange e-mails from far away places regarding one of my posts or even hearing architects talk about what a bunch of assh*les hang around in this little corner of cyberspace. But they must be reading it then, correct?
Most of the major changes in architecture, restoration and the philosophy of "firm and fast" make good sense.
Deep rough and idiotic green speeds are expensive and contrary to the spirit of the game. You don't see green chairmen in the U.K. ringing up the maintenance shack and dragging out the Green Keeper with a glass of gin in one hand and a Stimp Meter in the other, do you?
That is because we are idiots in this country. Not about everything, but the tendency always seems to move towards pushing everything too far.
"*Big* is its own justification to you Americans" is my favorite slam ever, delivered with rapier timing by a fat old Brit in a London Pub more years ago than I care to admit.
If the USGA would put aside their hopeless, politically correct First Tee Program and concentrate on making the game more affordable and user friendly, more people in America would pick up clubs as opposed to putting them down.
Pace of Play is the NUMBER ONE issue to solve right now, not hot drivers, slowing down the golf ball or worrying about whether little Jamal gets free range balls and a photo op with Tiger.
Thus, everybody who has a vested interest in the game beginning with Superintendents, the USGA and managers of golf courses, have got to band together and slow down the greens, cut down the rough and make the game fast and fun again.
You want to talk about pin positions at Pasatiempo? Those greens have no business running one micron past ten on the Stimp. I mean it. The contours are wild and maybe if the greens were not kept on the edge of death, they would not have to harpoon every foursome out of a thousand dollars just to put a peg in the dirt.
The entire affair is sickening because the cost of keeping golf courses at such a finely honed edge have elevated expectations far far beyond what is possible in the real world without idiotic expenditures.
It does not have to be this way - and I read and hear constant lip service from all the pundits, but nobody ever does anything about it because there is always the promise of a new turf variety around the corner that will actually tolerate mowing down to one millionth of an inch.
But nobody ever seems to stand up at the club meeting and scream:
WHY?
??
What the f*ck is the point of tearing up our greens and replanting a grass variety that will allow - no encourage - unplayable and completely inappropriate speeds?
Yet the USGA - who have the necessary gravitas to turn the tide - do nothing. If their core philosophy and mission statement is to administrate for the good of the game of golf, then what is more important that taking steps to solve our biggest problem: Pace of play and out of control costs?
Don't look to Tim Finchem and the rest of the gravy train circus animals to speak up - most of them are on cruise control and probably never think of anything deeper than what time their private jet will get them home and why they were forced to eat red caviar when they very clearly ordered black.
I remember when you could hear the shrieks of protest echoing through the halls at Olympic about tree removal . . . . . it was the absolute end of western civilization and a sure sign of the apocalypse coming with the hammer of God.
Yet, with a good enough sales job - starting with a couple of regulars on this board who shall remain nameless - even the crabby old men quickly learned to love the dry conditions and springy turf.
So the next time I turn on Golf Channel, I want to see some ads and interviews from the USGA about the importance of growing the game through making the game more accessible, user friendly and fast.
We already tried continuous putting and all it did was put hoof prints in everybody's line . . . . . .