Help...I've fallen into a Merion thread and I can't get out!!!

[Mike_Cirba]

Does anyone know a good 12-step program?  

[PThomas]

congrats Mike...the first step is admitting you've got a problem!

[mike_malone]

 One post is too many; a thousand is not enough!

[ANTHONYPIOPPI]

Mike,

I always find a good remedy is to make fun of Geoffrey Childs on another thread. Try it out and let me know how you feel.

Anthony

P.S. The first consultation is free; after this I have to start charging you.

[Tom Huckaby]

Mike:  Hi, my name is Mike and I am a OriginsofMerion-aholic.  It's been 10 minutes since I've posted about Merion.

Dave, Tom, Patrick, etc.:  HI, MIKE

 

[ForkaB]

Step 1 is to start another Merion thread.  Well done, Mikey!

[Mike_Cirba]

You maniacs are the remedy I need.  Too funny!  

[Mike_Cirba]

I won't consider myself completely cured until I can sincerely say, "Hugh WHO?"

[PThomas]

possible solutions four our Merion combatants:

1. draw pistols?  nah, we already have a Duel Hole at SF

2. group hugs?  I don't think so...

3. I got it!  A wrestling match, WWF-style, between Mike "The Bruiser" Cirba and ....I'll let others fill in the gory details of you guys dressed in the wrestling outfits!

[Mike_Cirba]

possible solutions four our Merion combatants:

1. draw pistols?  nah, we already have a Duel Hole at SF

2. group hugs?  I don't think so...

3. I got it!  A wrestling match, WWF-style, between Mike "The Bruiser" Cirba and ....I'll let others fill in the gory details of you guys dressed in the wrestling outfits!

I guess the burning question there would be whether MacWood would jump into the fray if David tags him?  

[Jeff_Brauer]

Oh, there have been some threads on Merion?  What did I miss?

[Mike_Cirba]

Oh, you missed it Jeff.  You've got to quit working so hard and try to keep up with current events.  

It's caused quite the national uproar.

In fact, here's some very, very upset former Merion fans gathered to show what they think about their old Merion History books based on the new revelations first posted on this site.  

[Eric Franzen]

Mediterranean countries are actually regarded as exemplary in their dealings with Merion threads.
A greater percentage of adults and youth posts in them occasionally but tend not to get all wrapped up in them.

The culture of participating in these threads from an earlier age, and as part of a meal, is shared across many Southern European countries.
Children are even sometimes allowed to look at topographical maps of the 10th hole.

I think this is a good way to put them on the right track just to encourage more moderate posting habits later in life.
But hey, this is just my humble opinion about this delicate matter...

[John Foley]

Mike,'

You've got no one to blame but yourself. You chose to jump in, so you need to suffer the consequuences

[RJ_Daley]

I seriously believe that you should copy a transcript of the Merion thread and convert it to a play format.  It would be the best "theater of the absurd" ever.  "Waiting for Godot" has nothing in the way of mind-numbing dialogue such as found in  "Wilson and the Committee visit MacDonald at NGLA".

All that is left is casting...

Mike, I think you should all play yourselves... you are great thesbians...[sic]  

[Mike_Cirba]

Eric,

That's hilarious.  

John,

I made my bed...I'll lie in it.  

RJ,

I'm actually waiting for the movie.   I'm torn between Robert Redford and Patrick Stewart for my role, but I've already got Moriarty's part cast;

[RJ_Daley]

Mike, from my casting couch, I would consider this guy... although I wouldn't dare to say who he'd play.  Just his famous line seems to fit the dialogue...  



http://www.reelclassics.com/Actors/images/sound.gif

[Phil_the_Author]

Mike,

You will actually know you are cured when in 3 years 4 months 1 hour 17 minutes and 41 seconds from now you will be able to look back and say:

Hi, my name is Mike and I'm a Merionholic. It has been 3 months 12 days 19 hours 3 minutes and 7, no make that 8, no 9 seconds since I last posted on the thread. I remember it exactly. It was one word; BUMP!"

[Tommy_Naccarato]

Mike C.--Merion Thread Addict

Mike, I will try to post the 12 Steps of MTAA* later tonight. But do remember: the first step is identification and surrender that you are completely helpless.

Are you ready to admit that?

After a honest declaration of surrender is achieved, you are on the way to building a better foundation of a life of posting on Golf Club Atlas....

Surrender Mike, surrender......

(*Merion Thread Addicts Anonymous)

[Guy Phelan]

Mike,

Try going to CaddyChicks.com and find somebody to help carry your bag and take your mind off of Merion. It is not a 12 step program, but I have heard it DOES work!

Guy

Below is just one of many to draw from:

Caddy Chick by CaddyChicks.com
Name: Kim C

From: Santa MOnica, CA

Eye color: Blue

Height: 5'9''

Weight: 130

Hourly Rate: 30

Golf Knowledge: Been A Couple Of Times

I prefer to: Ride

Comments: I've been told I'm the life of the party!
 

[Dan Kelly]

Does anyone know a good 12-step program?  

How about ... what's it called ... "Dancing With the Stars"?

I haven't seen Emmitt Smith on any Merion thread since he was on there.

[Mike_Cirba]

Tommy,

I'm not only helpless, I'm hopeless.   I've quit various Merion threads multiple times only to come back to them within the next 12 hours.   I'm incorrigible, I tell you.   A sad, pathetic, addict ready for the gutter.  

Guy,

I'm already a sex-addict, so you're not helping one little bit!  

But, unlike theh Merion threads, I'm not giving that one up!!!  

Dan,

I have about as much chance of becoming a proficient ballroom dancer as Manute Bol.  

[RJ_Daley]

Mike, maybe you need a hypnotist and aversion therapy, and a secret word that everyone in the treehouse can say when you backslide into your old addictive ways.  

Does anyone out there have a secret word for Mike?

[Dan Kelly]

I have about as much chance of becoming a proficient ballroom dancer as Manute Bol.  

I think it was Tony Kornheiser who, when Bol was drafted, wrote that, for once, it was clear what a guy would be doing once his playing days were over.

He'd be a speed bump.

[TEPaul]

"Does anyone know a good 12-step program?  

I do MikeyC:

Let's about fifty of us from Philly get some big construction boots, throw some bucks on a table, get Wayne to invite this preposterous pipsqueak Moriarty to play Merion, fly the jerk over here from LaLa land, and when he tees it up on the otherworldly first tee of Merion we will all do a 12 step program on his face with our construction boots. Following that Matt Shaeffer and the Boys will be directly around inside two minutes and deep tyne the rest of the mess known as David Moriarty into the world famous tee box. Then if we have time we'll pick up what's left of the sucker, throw it in his golf bag and ship it back to California by snail mail.

What do you think the chances are he will write us all a thank you letter and tell us what a wonderful Hugh Wilson golf course it is?