[Marty Bonnar]

Now,
just imagine for a moment that, through some wholly unlikely quirk of fate, you've somehow managed to get yourself an invite to a day of play at Muirfield.
Let's also say, as an example mind, that the wholly imaginary tee time is maybe this coming tuesday morning at 9:30 and furthermore that your imaginary playing partner is some guy you met on an imaginary website.
My question is this:
What would members of this legendary body, who have walked through those hallowed gates, advise the Muirfield newbie to look out for. I'm not just talking about the Golf, the Golf Course, or even the GCA if you will, but also the indefinable, the quintessential 'Muirfieldness' of the place. Is it a certain Portrait in that Clubhouse, an aroma of Port and Cigars, the filling of the cucumber sandwiches...

What is it?

and what would you advise the Muirfield tyro to look out for most.

FBD. (definitely NOT playing Muirfield this tuesday at 9:30)

[RJ_Daley]

Marty, whilst you have obvious great demonstrated talent in your art of plausible denial, you can't run for Pres of the U.S. due to being born an allien.  So, what political office do you really seek?

[cary lichtenstein]

Look for the sign that says

"No dogs or women allowed"

Then try to get a caddy to carry a bag for a woman

You must bring a woman along to do this.

[ForkaB]

Fat

-the little numbered (1-18) rack outside the Secretary's office in which one deposits lost golf balls found on each of the holes of the course
--the water cooler full of gin with the skull and crossbones on it
--the lady serving the treacle tart at lunch
--the locker room without curtains where you can stand starkers looking out over the course

Rich

[Marty Bonnar]

Marty, whilst you have obvious great demonstrated talent in your art of plausible denial, you can't run for Pres of the U.S. due to being born an allien.  So, what political office do you really seek?

Uncle Dicky,
I remember, as a young 6 year old (do you get OLD 6 year olds?), being drugged and taken to a big building where men in funny suits removed bits of my body. They then fed me with lots of Ice-Cream claiming that it "was good for me".
It was there I came across a big book called 'My Favorite Martian' which I, in my drugged and befuddled condition believed read, 'My Favorite MARTIN'...

Strange, but true...

Look for the sign that says

"No dogs or women allowed"

Then try to get a caddy to carry a bag for a woman

You must bring a woman along to do this.

Cary, Cary, Cary,
you clearly never read my detailed exposition of the time I went to Muirfield and trod in a Dog Turd within five minutes of arrival. Funny, and yet sadly poignant I thought...

FBD.

[Marty Bonnar]

Rich,
EXACTLY the kind of stuff I'm after. Is the Treacle Tart lady HOT?

FBD.

[ForkaB]

Rich,
EXACTLY the kind of stuff I'm after. Is the Treacle Tart lady HOT?

FBD.

She was 25 years ago, Martin, but she's probably now 88 or so...........

[BCrosby]

FBD -

You will be enjoying your complementary round on Tuesday with my law partner Mike. Your good fortune is due to his erstwhile buddy breaking his shoulder a couple of weeks ago.

You will appreciate that I tried desperately to figure out a way to get to Gullane to take his slot. But in the end I was beaten out by a fat, balding English architect/drummer who - as far as I know - exists only in a narrow band of electrons that makes up a very wacky internet discussion group.

So you see, these counter-factual worlds can cut both ways. In this case, your version won and mine lost.

Have fun. You will enjoy playing with Mike. After you have finished the cucumber sandwiches, the cigars and the port, go next door and have another drink on me at Greywalls.

Bob

   

[Marty Bonnar]

English architect/drummer who

english, English, ENGLISH!!!!!??

Bob,
it was all going so well up until then too. Why, that's like me calling y'all a Canadian...

I am soooo pumped about tuesday you wouldn't believe it. Given that I am playing at Gleneagles (Kings) tomorrow morning then Muirfield on tues, it simply couldn't get any better than this weekend.

I have a wee surprise organised for Mike and the fellow with the broken shoulder whose generousity has astonished me so hopefully it'll all work out in the end. Sorry you couldn't make it. Please feel free to enjoy the experience vicariously through me. I will send the vibes!

Mike and I have communicated over the past month with ever-increasing excitement. He is now comfortably ensconced in St Andrews I believe, so hopefully he will be getting the full Scottish experience.

If the drinks at Greywalls are on you, it'll simply have to be that bottle of 1948 Montrachet I've had my eye on for several years now....

Cheers (Hic!)
FBD.

[ian]

Martin,

Dornock may be more fun, Turnberry more scenic, other courses have better land; but no course I saw has better architecture. Strategically this is one of the great masterpieces. Enjoy playing golf, the rest is just a pleasant bonus. Walking the course before or after without clubs increases your admiration for the course.

It may not be the prettiest, but it still is likely the best.

[mike_beene]

When you hit 2nd shot to 6 with the woods in the background,it just doesn't get any better.

[Joe_Hatley]

Lunch

[Robert Thompson]

Martin: I found the club a lot less stuffy than anticipated and the actual course to be a joy. The stretch from 6 through to, well, the end of the course, is pretty amazing. The par threes are particularly astounding.
That said, I really enjoyed watching the Americans (and my brother, a Canadian) who forgot to bring their dress shoes to compliment their jackets at lunch, sheepishly wander into the dining room trying to keep all attention from the footwear. Some wore running shoes, others wore socks. Quite comical. I also enjoyed the assigned seating at lunch -- we sat with two fine English chaps who were touring the best golf had to offer.

[PThomas]

a cooler full of gin sounds great!!

but cucumber sandwiches??  

[SJ_McCarthy]

1.  The 600+ yard walk from your tour van to the front gate while wearing a jacket and tie and carrying your day bag and your golf bag

2. The woman at the lunch line who will smack your hand with a ladel if you try to take 3 hot items instead of two (kidding me right when you pay an additonal fee of 40+ pounds for lunch).

3. The 900+ degree heat of the clubhouse when you eat lunch after playing a round, changing from golf clothes BACK into jacket & tie.

4. That same 600+ yard hike BACK to your tour van carrying the same assortment of togs, bags etc you did earlier that day.

Now, before you guys go and flame me, yes, it is a solid course.  Perhaps one of the best courses I have seen for the afternoon alternate shot game that is a must to do while there.  On that note, when you play your am round, look at all the foot paths that seem to make no sense when you are playing your 2 or 4 ball, however, if you play alternate shot, you will then understand their purpose there.

By the way, if any of you all play a alternate shot match here ststeside, take a note from the Scotts book, the ONLY time you should see your partner is on the putting green.  Your not supposed to watch them hit then stroll to your ball to hit your shot, that makes it very slow.  Walk ahead, forecaddie, when the ball lands near you (hopefully) hit it and start walking again.  An afternoon alternate shot should take no more than 1:30 hours.

Cheers

Now,
just imagine for a moment that, through some wholly unlikely quirk of fate, you've somehow managed to get yourself an invite to a day of play at Muirfield.
Let's also say, as an example mind, that the wholly imaginary tee time is maybe this coming tuesday morning at 9:30 and furthermore that your imaginary playing partner is some guy you met on an imaginary website.
My question is this:
What would members of this legendary body, who have walked through those hallowed gates, advise the Muirfield newbie to look out for. I'm not just talking about the Golf, the Golf Course, or even the GCA if you will, but also the indefinable, the quintessential 'Muirfieldness' of the place. Is it a certain Portrait in that Clubhouse, an aroma of Port and Cigars, the filling of the cucumber sandwiches...

What is it?

and what would you advise the Muirfield tyro to look out for most.

FBD. (definitely NOT playing Muirfield this tuesday at 9:30)

[Marty Bonnar]

Fantastic stuff, gentlemen and all adding up to aid my enjoyment of the day. Many thanks.

1.  The 600+ yard walk from your tour van to the front gate while wearing a jacket and tie and carrying your day bag and your golf bag

SJ et al,
is it best to turn up in the jacket and tie and have to change twice before lunch or is it okay to turn up in golf gear and only change once? (the details, the details...)

FBD.

[Brian Phillips]

The rough..

[wsmorrison]

FBD,

Once again redanman has it all wrong...its the complexes of the contours not the contours of the complexes!

I would walk around and then stand in front of Greywalls and just marvel at the great Lutyens architecture of that building, the color of the stones and the sweeping arms of the cottages behind which are some lovely and famous gardens by Gertrude Jekyll.  

What a great place Gullane is and the golf is the icing on a delicious cake!  Eat, drink and be merry!

[wsmorrison]

BillV,

Did I really have to use a smiley face?  Come on, I was not pissy; just kidding, big guy!  Take it easy  When are we doing out home and home?

Flynn was never in the UK, but he was in a lot of places he never got credit for in the USA as you will see...middle of next year at the latest.  

[TEPaul]

Martin:

My advice to you is don't look for anything in particular---just take in the overall aura of the place. Your first and greatest sensation just may be how little goes on!

But if you want to look for something in particular look for either the world-class pro-shop at Muirfield or that incredible waitress at breakfast at Greywalls. I still think about her!  

[jg7236]

Martin,

Muirfield is a pleasure to play every time I get a chance to play the golf course.  I have played the golf course off and on ever since I was around 12.  I can't say I have ever had a bad time, even when I have shot a high round I still have a great time.  Sometimes when I walk down to number 1 I get goose bumps imagining the starter calling my name, here starting at 8:48am, John N. Gunning IV, playing out of Las Vegas, NV.  To this date, I still picture, and  imagine a gallery watching me as I hit my second shot into number 18.  

Muirfield Village is currently one of my top 10 courses I have played and it isn't because I am from Ohio.  I feel the routing that Desmond Muirhead and Jack Nicklaus did on this beautiful undulating site is superb.

The maintenance of this golf course sets standards as high as Augusta in many aspects.  The new Head Golf Course Superintendent at Muirfield Village Golf Club Paul Latshaw sets standards above and beyond most upscale, extremely private facilities.

Martin if you do indeed get to play Muirfield Village Golf Club, go to the all male Captains Room and have a few cocktails, and if you bring your suit case full of money, try to get back into the card room.  The card games, the stories, the extreme amounts of money exchanging hands, and of course the influential players that go through that room while in town.  

Cheers,

John

[mike_beene]

John,please tell me you are joking.Otherwise we all need to reread "The Ugly American"(well our friends who are not American are exempt from the reading;they have probably seen plenty from us)

[jg7236]

Mike,

I don't understand.

John

[mike_beene]

John,perhaps I over react.They aren't talking about Ohio.I just think we need to remember which was named after which.I am particularly sensitive because the club in Dallas named Gleneagles won't let you walk,has houses on the course and advertises which celebrities are members.The saving grace is very few of the members will ever leave the country.

[Marc Haring]

Martin

Not that I have ever had the pleasure but I should imagine one of the delights of Muirfield would be the fact one could play the entire round in the total confidence that one would never ever encounter a stripe, unlike that awful picture you posted of # 14 at Gleneagles, you know, the one with the tartan fairway.

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