M. Cirba,
As a practicing Catholic in Ohio, I did notice that a number of the priests enjoyed golf on a regular basis. I never got invited, but heard from third parties that the collars were loosened, a few coins changed hands, less than priestly language was overheard, and the alcohol flowed freely in the clubhouse afterwards.
Come to think of it, I never heard of any sexual foul play going on up there. So, if Pope Benedict doesn't change the church rules on celibacy, perhaps he'll order a realignment of its vast land holdings and provide affordable golf to keep the minds of the clergy and the flock occupied on something wholesome.
As Pope Pious, I would order a lottery day once a year during the peak of DST at each of the top 100 Modern and Classic courses. There would be three shotguns of 36 foursomes, for a fee of the normal accompanied guest amount, to be shared 20/80 by the club and the church, respectively (we wouldn't want to get the clubs in trouble with the IRS). There would be a few scholarships for the needy.
Local church volunteers would keep the play going, cook dogs and burgers, sell beer, wine, and soft drinks. The locals would get to keep 25% of the church's share, the diocesce would get another 25%, and Rome gets 50%.
Martha Burk would be my head of club relations with Calypso Louie (Farakan), the director of security, having a dotted line to her office. The Rev. Jackson would lead my outreach efforts and assist Ms. Burk with hesitant club managers. As my Chief Change & Crisis Management Officer, the Reverend Sharpton would also serve double duty as ad hoc ambasador of goodwill. Finally, former Presidents Bush and Clinton would be the honorary starters, one at the #1 Classic course, and the other at the Modern one.
Yes, it is a slow day here and my left elbow is still smarting from all the golf a couple of weeks ago.