Somewhat sad to report on my return from the Iberian Peninsula that many of my worst fears about Southern Spain and ‘the Costas’ were confirmed.
In the interests of keeping your attention - and this Topic within the general confines of the subject matter of this Discussion Group - let’s firstly address the Golf:
So, we arrange a tee-time at Torrequebrada, a 1970s, Pepe Gancido designed former home of the Spanish Open. Sounded good from the bumph we’d read and was the closest to our accom so off we trotted…
First Surprise - The Spanish clearly find it highly amusing to INCREASE the green fees at this time of the year. So from normally being 60 Euros (40 quid/75bucks?) they start off by asking us for 90 Euros a head + 36 for the Cart.
Now, bear in mind here, there were about 8 other cars in the car park and not a soul to be seen on the Golf course!!! No bleeding wonder at these prices! I guess they think this is their high season and that they should charge accordingly (as “no-one wants to play in the heat of a Spanish summer”) EH?
After ridiculous quantities of ‘negotiation’ with the Head Pro who made it appear like he was doing us an incredible favour and that it was normally impossible to change their tariff, he eventually consents to allowing one of us to pay the 9-hole fee (45 Euros) ONLY if we take the Cart. So, 171 Euros (about 130 pounds/250 dollars?) later we zip up to the first tee…
Surprise B - So the condition of the Tee, as Shania might say, didn’t impress me much. Unkempt, overseeded, hacked to bits….
Unfortunately, this set the scene for the rest of the Course. Clearly undergoing winter renovations, there were bare patches, muddy spots, tyre tracks, roped off areas – you get the picture. AND THEY WANT TO CHARGE YOU MORE FOR THIS!!! Luckily, the Greens were in great nick and just about saved the whole experience for me.
The Routing – Set as it is in the foothills just back from the coast, the course wends its merry way through some undulating (HA!) terrain. I’ve NEVER been so scared in a Cart as I was on some of those cross-slopes. You know the ones where if you stop on the slope and the person on the uphill side gets out, you think the Cart might just easily tip over…? The Cart Path even had sodding Speed Bumps!!! The Cart was however, infinitely preferable to carrying or pulling a trolley either of which would have resulted in a) a Divorce, b) a Coronary or c) Both of the above.
So all in all, one or two nicely designed holes in between some utterly ridiculous carries (one downhill Par 4 which has to carry not only a massive patch of shrubbery off the tee, but is then played down a narrow chasm between 100-foot poplars and neighbouring Villas, over a SODDING ROAD, to a tiny landing area ending in a POND!) I was bricking it so badly by this stage that I hit a 5-iron!
As you can gather, my introduction to Spanish golf was less than impressive!
As a footnote, and by way of some redemption for Spain, I had the interesting experience of having one of the worst meals and one of the best meals of my life on the same day.
The worst was in one of those horrid, British-owned pubs at Lunch (The King Bar – which was clearly missing the apostrophe from ‘King!) Awful, rancid fries cooked in years-old Lard and a cheese and onion Toastie - two slices of bread, sliced cheese and onions, mind you! - which took all of 90 MINUTES to prepare. I did however, have a great laugh here as they had a prominent sign which read: 'Please be Patient - Good Food takes Time to Prepare'. I was in stitches...
The best – Dinner that evening - a stupendous Paella in a proper Spanish Beach-side restaurant with 3 Spanish guitar players, free house Rioja and brilliant service. Magnifico!
Oh well – back to Florida next year!!
FBD.