This is funny... I thought Lou's story occurred the round he played at CPC with myself, Dr. Childs and the inimitable Mr. Cirba, with Mr. Hendren watching... In fact I can recall it plain as day being said... is it possible the caddies said this to Lou TWICE at those venerable golf grounds?

Lou, you need to set this straight.  Not that it matters one iota, just weird we all seem to remember this.

You think the caddies loved you, Dave?  In me they had an overawed, happy to be there at all, happy to have a caddie at all, non-divot taking, fawning for advice, smiling and gawking geek who demanded nothing and overtipped just to keep his host (or make that arranger) happy. On top of that I had the tiny bag. At least at that place, I had to be a caddie's dream.

 

TH

(Tom, I don't know if that guy loved me or not.  Knowing how they are out there, if I had to bet, I'd bet he was indifferent.  That seems to be the prevalent mindset among the crew out there.)

 

Interesting... in my trips around that shrine, I have always had caddies that at least appeared to be very interested in me.  Now maybe it's luck, maybe it's my naivete and awe, maybe I'm wrong... but I have had nothing but great experience there.

Interestingly also, the only bad caddie experience I've had really has been at St. Andrews Old Course the last time I was there, where I got a guy who was worse than indifferent:  he was insistent that his way was the only way, that I was an idiot, and he had no reticence in telling me so.  Not a nice guy, and we had a very poor round.  It was telling, to me anyway, that when I went around again the next day sans caddie I achieved a score a dozen shots lower.

This is no comment on The Old Course, btw - at least not by me.  Previous times I have had wonderful caddies there, who did add to the experience tremendously.

TH

TH

Funny thing about Dave Hill - a friend of mine caddied for him in 1970 at the U.S. Open at Hazeltine, where Hill crafted his reputation as one of the tour's biggest assholes, and my friend had a great experience. Dave called my buddy by his name all week, even asked him for advice on a couple of putts, and wrote him a nice check after he finished second.

Maybe he got cheaper as the season went on, or the finishes got lower.

David:

Well... I have yet to have a caddie on the Monterey Peninsula give me anything close to what you'd call "lip", and that's two to three times as many rounds as you've had.

Strange.

Or maybe not.

One does tend to see what he wants to see, or not.  

I get your point, anyway.

But I also must be just damn lucky with caddies.

TH

Oh, please, don't give me that "or maybe not" crap, like I somehow induced Lou's caddy to tell him to pick up his own fricking divots because he's too busy doubling.  That had nothing to do with me.  Neither did the jagoff who was incapable of answering a straight question but was VERY capable of telling everybody how to play every shot, despite being asked not to.  Or the guy who tried to tell us that we should play the up tees, despite a combined group handicap of about 15.  Or the guy who -- although he insisted on carrying doubles -- refused to do so unless he was able to switch bags to his carry bags, and ended up getting us cold and wet because his crappy bags didn't have enough room for a rainsuit, a sweater and an umbrella.  OH, WAIT, that wasn't one guy -- that was EVERYBODY!  

The kid at Cypress was fine.  He was a good caddy. Very good.  He'd have been perfect, but for the marginal lipoff to Lou.

Not sure where you are getting all this, it's not what I meant at all.  Hell I still think that comment to Lou happened in the round with us, but in any case it wasn't my intention to say you had anything to do with it.  What I meant was some would call that "lip", some with great Catholic guilt would think to himself "shit, the guy is working hard, the least I can do is pick up my own divots."  Just two different ways of looking at it, and none of us is completely consistent in either way.

As for the rest, well... we have had different experiences.  We also likely have different expectations.  Nothing wrong with that whatsoever.

Smile, Dave.

 

A sampler of good caddie lines:

After a reasonably good shot: "That's a Mexican."
Translation: It'll work.

After a solid drive: "Sore dick."
Translation: You can't beat it.

Lipped putt: "Lewinsky."
Translation: All lip and no hole.

Shivas,

When I played at pebble 6 years ago the thing that really got to me was when the caddy showed up to meet us, the first thing he did immediately was to take our bags back to the caddy shack and switch them out for 2 easy to carry pebble bags.  mind you the bags we already had were pretty light stand bags.  as a former caddy that really pisses me off to see that.  then the guy did somethign i've never seen on the east coast but according to him is common on the penninsula, carrying BOTH bags over one shoulder.  well sure he could do that cause he had taken pretty much everything out of our bags except the clubs, a half dozen balls and tees.  

the forecaddying thing i can see how they sort of justify, given the nature of the place its easy for rounds to take a long while and im sure they are pressed to help push pace of play, not that it was an issue with your group.

jason

Here are 3:

Great Experience:  It's January, 1983 and I'm in Scotland on business and drive up to St. Andrews.  I haven't played it 6 months, don't have my clubs, there's snow on the ground where I'm staying (Glenrothes, about 45 minutes away), but want to see TOC anyway.  I arrive about 11:30, see a bunch of people on the golf course, so walk up to the starter shack and find out I can get out right away-the starter points me to a place to hire clubs (I have shoes and a golf glove) and I ask him to get me a caddy.  I meet Danny on the 1st tee a few minutes later-he's about 70 years old, short, thin, and looks like he enjoys his scotch.  Danny tells me he has caddied at TOC for over 50 years and carried for Kel Nagle when he won the Open there (I'm sure it's possible that every caddie tells the same story, but maybe it was true).  Anyway, Danny leads me around TOC by the nose (in really horrible conditions-35 degrees, 30 mph winds) and I had a truly memorable experience.  He would simply put his foot where he wanted me to putt the ball and seemed to know every green and putt without even looking at the line.  On #14 (is that where Hell bunkers are?) he pointed me on a line that didn't look right-I asked him-why over there, and his response was truly noteworthy-'there's Hell over there, laddie'.

Bad Experience:  Pinehurst #2-I get 'Doc' on my bag.  Doc is an elderly guy who seems like he might have something of a drinking problem.  I could barely understand a word he said the entire round.  On the 5th hole I'm off the green in the back and he points a line out (almost away from the hole into the hill) that just looks like there's no way it's right.  So I hit it exactly where he pointed and it comes right back at me-I question him about it and he says, 'you needed to hit it harder'-sure, and the ball could have been back at the tee, Doc.

Horrible experience:  SFGC a couple of years ago-2 of us are sharing a caddy and he's giving us yardages that are probably off by about 10 yards.  So I miss about 3 greens in a row long from the middle of the fairway (which I never do) and question him about the yardage.  I get no response so ask the other caddy for yardage on the next hole.  My game is going down the toilet by now and the caddy cops an attitude with me.  We didn't talk the rest of the round and I doubt that I broke 90.  I guess it could have been worse but I had been COMPED, that's right, Barney, COMPED, FREAKING COMPED (because I'm a member of the green committee at Lake Merced and our greenskeeper set it up) so it wasn't a total loss except I felt so bad for my partner I paid off his bets to the winners (that's how bad I played on the back nine).  

  PS -- Adam, tell me that you don't know that this goes on at Pebble exactly as I described?  

Dave- I can tell you that everything you have described, is somewhat foriegn to me. Especially the lipping off part.

As far as efficeint caddying goes, handing a guy his driver on #2 is standard. Not laziness. I rarely waited ahead and to the side, prefferring to go to the tee because this was a good chance to talk with the guest. Since there is a usual wait for the fairway to clear. If the golfer is undecided (or a prick/schmuck) hand him a 3 wood too. Nobody doesn't hit driver there.

In other instances where the caddy does not go to the teeing ground, it is standard op to inform the golfer of his options and hand him the clubs he may need. It is rare to get a golfer who feels so insecure that he needs his caddy with him the entire time.

Truthfully Dave, you must have the worse luck. But maybe this explains why so many repeat knowledgable players lock up their caddies, up to a year in advance. The good ones are often hard to get.

You've played Pebble Beach??

Gee, I've never played it. It must be a wonderful experience.

A different sort of story.

I played Hamilton Golf & Country Club this year and drew a 14 year old girl as my caddie. Hamilton features a real true Jr. caddie program that is Canada's best Junior program period.

She was very shy, which made me determined to bring her out of her shell. I asked her to read putts and think about shots as if she were playing. By the end of the round I had learned about her, got here actively caddying, and had a steady conversation going.

That remains my favourite recent experience.


Someone here had a quote that said something like "treat your caddy like your son." It remains sage advice.

In 1974 being the 13 year old son of the golf club steward (clubhouse manager) and living on the property I was soon elevated to 'preferred caddy' for the pro, Leo Feeney. Obviously, someone was needed and there was no-one else around, and I was happy to receive the insider's discount on my Penfold Aces. The captain and the pro would challenge allcomers every week on a Friday and I ws usually on the bag; 'on the bag' meaning pulling his pullcart and telling him his yardages. I had a fantastic education in the game of golf through these adventures and on only one occasion was it problematic.
Mr Feeney was, without dispute, the best player in the surrounding area (US citizens read small state or county) and if not for a devout catholic lifestyle which produced offspring on a regular basis, you might have heard more of Leo, as it was he took a club job and made a good living teaching, some proffesionals even. Eamon Darcy was a client, and if you had ever seen Leo hit the ball you might understand why Eaomon might want to swing that way. So, in 1975 when Leo told me I was to caddy in the county proffesional championship I saw no reason for concern. I was, indeed, excited. Sherwood Forest GC was well known and I was looking forward to conquering it. What I hadn't figured on was the golf bag which in had pulled for the previous 18 months. It had to be carried. Noboby today can imagine how heavy the leather bags of the 60's and 70's were. Really, really heavy. You don't have the energy to confiscate cameras if you're carrying one of these. I don't remember making it to the 18th green, but I guess I must have done. I have no recollection of the supposedly fabulous course. Only the pain. And trying not to collapse.  We went back to the pull cart (trolley) and not much was spoken of Sherwood Forest, Leo hadn't won, he was probably one of the favourites, it must have been me..
That post was longer than intended, more in another.