How you too can be a purist...or fake it for a day..

« **on:** April 18, 2005, 10:24:37 AM »

I don't have a problem with anyone using any club that is legal so with that out of the way we need to set some ground rules for those pretenders who want to give off the purist image.....some recomendations:

Always wear long pants when you are a guest.

Don't take practice swings.

Don't look at putts from both sides.

Don't use a cheater line.

Do take your hat off in the club house.

Do wear a shirt with a collar.

Do only use wooden tees either black, white or natural.

Don't use a rangefinder unless you are a working architect interested in bagging a restoration job.

Don't really take 5 minutes to look for a ball....45 seconds is fine.

Your turn.....

« **Reply #1 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:30:08 AM »

absolutely walk, and look on carts with disdain. Spitting on them wouldn't be uncouth.

if a tree is seen, immediately announce "give me a few hours with a chainsaw and this course would really be something."

comment on the "green surrounds" as many times as possible

invoke the names of Tom Doak, and Coore and Crenshaw whenever possible - but of course call them "Doak" and "C&C". Upon completion of the round, announce your assessment in Doak scale terms, with the word "solid" before the number if you like the course.

As many times as you invoke Doak's name, be sure to rip on Fazio.

« **Reply #2 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:34:38 AM »

Never mix and match logo's....as much as you want to show off everywhere you have been, when your hat doesn't match your shirt you just look like a pretender.

« **Reply #3 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:39:02 AM »

Huck,

Don't forget to mention Hanse so it looks like you are still a man of the people...

« **Reply #4 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:42:11 AM »

Always wear long pants when you are a guest. NOT

Don't take practice swings. NOT

Don't look at putts from both sides. SOMETIMES

Don't use a cheater line. SOMETIMES

Do take your hat off in the club house. OK

Do wear a shirt with a collar. OK

Do only use wooden tees either black, white or natural. WTF?

Don't use a rangefinder unless you are a working architect interested in bagging a restoration job. OK

Don't really take 5 minutes to look for a ball....45 seconds is fine. DEPENDS ON IF SOMEONE IS ON YOUR TAIL

Your turn..... My 5 minutes is up.

« **Reply #5 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:44:02 AM »

John,
I only wear hats with no logo or from USGA championships I've worked. Does that work for you?

There are two styles of clothing for purists:

Only wear shirts from high-brow big name courses like PV, CPC, NGLA or the like so people can drool over your ability to get on them.

or

Only wear shirts from little known courses that are designed to get people asking about the courses so that you can look snobily at them when saying, "Its a wonderful little course, I'm surprised you haven't heard of it."

« **Reply #6 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:44:58 AM »

Good points re mix and match and Hanse. Of course if you just can't help yourself and can't limit yourself to one logo, be sure to make them private clubs, the more inaccessible the better. Friar's Head hat and Pine Valley shirt, you know, stuff like that.

JV's take is right on re the logos, also - crossed in posting. Hell yes, the logo of a "hidden gem" is the best of all. Wearing two of those would be an acceptable breach of the no multiple logo rules also.

Here's another conversational tip: use the term "spot on" as much as possible.

And of course there's the deal-sealer: when in doubt or with nothing to say, ridicule "those idiots at Golf Digest."

« **Reply #7 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:45:37 AM »

I used to think I was cool with my persimmon driver.

Now when I read "hickory this, hickory that" I start to barf, and realize what a pretentious ungrateful jackass I am, slapping progress in the face . . .

« **Reply #8 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:45:54 AM »

I like mixing and matching so I guess I am not a purist

.

« **Reply #9 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:50:43 AM »

Jim:

The first step is admitting it. Of course at the recent King's Putter, I rode in a cart for damn near all of it and wore collar-less shirts throughout. So I'm right there with you, brother.

I also mix and match logoes from time to time. But mine would always be an association I belong to (SCU alumni, NCGA committee) plus a course no one ever wants to play (Santa Teresa). I save the cool logoes for events where people might be impressed; that is, non-GCA events. Having seen in a post-round GCA-related logo-off Mr. Huntley simply and silently tap the logo on his sweater, well... I know where coolness begins and ends so it's silly to even try to compete.

It was the R&A member's logo. Sorry friends, none competes with that.

« **Reply #10 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:52:33 AM »

Can I read traditionalist for purist? In which case:

It is not so much a question of not mixing and matching logos as not displaying any logos at all. Indeed, if you want to be inconspicuous (at least in England) you must dress like a country solicitor. If you look like nothing you are wearing is specifically intended for golf wear, you are well on your way.

A dog is also a handy asset, especially an adoring labrador.

« **Reply #11 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:55:15 AM »

Tom -

What about the Pine Valley shield without "Pine Valley" written below, off limits to the unwashed?

I would think the ultimate in purist symbols would be the old hard collar golf shirt with the buttons that go down to roughly the navel area. It doesn't matter the logo, since only the anointed clubs continue to stock them.

« **Reply #12 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:56:48 AM »

Say "I like how the green contours tie into the surrounds" a lot.

« **Reply #13 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:58:27 AM »

SPDB - great call.

Only us non-purists dig those also. Or at least I do.

Philip - well-said with how this works in the UK and Ireland. I think it plays out a bit differently here in the US, but that ought to be no surprise. Of course the most pure here tend to model their UK/Irish cousins, so hmmmmm.... maybe the purist of the pure do dress this way and do bring their dogs along...

« **Reply #14 on:** April 18, 2005, 10:59:23 AM »

Quote from: Paul_Turner on April 18, 2005, 10:56:48 AM

Say "I like how the green contours tie into the surrounds" a lot.

Oh absolutely - right on. Also, if you don't like a hole, make sure and complain about how they DON'T.

« **Reply #15 on:** April 18, 2005, 11:00:30 AM »

Philip -- thanks for the tip re the labrador.......and I thought my new puppy was worthless!

related thought: I've seen a few golfers wear baseball-style hats with nothing on them, and I found them dreadfully boring

« **Reply #16 on:** April 18, 2005, 11:05:41 AM »

Never clean your golf shoes.

Do not indentify your ball with cute markings.

Respect the one ball rule in all competitions.

« **Reply #17 on:** April 18, 2005, 11:06:13 AM »

OK, well yesterday I was back hacking up my home course and wore shirt with a cypress tree while carrying a golf bag with a guy in a sombrero asleep against a palm tree. Does shirt and bag count as mixing logos? If so, then D'oh!

We had a very informative discussion of logos at KP-IV, either over Pinot Noir on Saturday or during the back nine of the Masters on Sunday.

Tuesday morning I had just purchased a nice, tasteful hat with

Spyglass Hill
pebble beach

on it and was walking down the first fairway with Lou Duran. He was flagged down by the course superintendent and as they chatted about course conditions and maintenance I saw the super's hat was a plain black number with huge lettering

SPY

on front instead of the entire logo. Oh, the regret. How could I have missed that one.

« **Reply #18 on:** April 18, 2005, 11:13:20 AM »

What about wearing logos not related to golf? Does this pass the purist test?

Wooden tees are essential. Any colour but green or red do the job. Though I do prefer any colour which is free!

Mark your ball with a coin. Though I break this rule nearly everytime I play. I did take to marking with a five pound coin for a spell. Still do if a guy is pissing me off.

John, good call with the shoes!

Ciao

Sean

« **Reply #19 on:** April 18, 2005, 11:21:48 AM »

When I want to really be cool, I'll wear one of my John Deere hats.

More seriously, when playing match play, a purist picks up his ball if he's out of the hole, even on a great course he's playing for the first time. My cousin Austin did this at Carnoustie; it left a lasting impression.

« **Reply #20 on:** April 18, 2005, 11:25:43 AM »

boy, I can shovel even more S*** , which some friends thought impossible, after reading these tips, keep them coming!

this reminds me of Brad Klein's line in his book about architect at a new site posing Moses-like in the distance, saying it's the finest site he's ever seen for a golf course

« **Reply #21 on:** April 18, 2005, 11:26:36 AM »

Quote from: john_m_kirk on April 18, 2005, 11:21:48 AM

When I want to really be cool, I'll wear one of my John Deere hats.

Go to the proper King's Putter thread and check out the group pic... and Mr. Huntley's headwear... the man just defines coolness in every conceivable way.

« **Reply #22 on:** April 18, 2005, 11:52:47 AM »

Your wooden tee is a "peg" that you keep behind the ear.

Arnie is the best ever. You grudgingly acknowledge Nicklaus. You offer up qualified and insincere praise for Tiger while never acknowledging that even on his best day he wouldn't be a match for Arnie.

You refer to the holes on the course by their names.

You play the ball down with no exceptions.

You play nassuas and then retire to the men's grill in the locker room to play gin rummy and sip whiskey. The golf betting is simple straight forward with no strokes given or taken.

You learned the game the hard way which is as a caddy.

« **Reply #23 on:** April 18, 2005, 11:52:56 AM »

Being able to proclaim with some self-respect that "well, my 98 was from the tips".

« **Reply #24 on:** April 18, 2005, 11:58:32 AM »

Wear metal spikes ... and you don't measure them in mm's, that's Euro ...

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