I played such a bad golf course today in virtually every way it gave me the inspiration to start this thread.

The course, Aliso Viejo, in Orange County, is allegedly a Jack Nicklaus design-it has 3 nines (I played 2 of them, the Valley and Ridge), and, based on the 2 I played it has absolutely nothing going for it other than well conditioned greens with a number of false fronts.

So here are my reasons for placing Alisa Viejo on this list:
1.  Highly forgettable design with little or no shot values.  Only 6200 yards from the tips and plays even shorter.
2.  Carts only
3.  Greens fees ($90, although I paid $68 through an internet special) well in excess of what it's worth.
4.  Very, very slow pace of play (4 hours 45 minutes and we waited for 1 or 2 groups on virtually every hole after #2).
5.  Bad staff-a 'players assistant' drove up to us on about the 14th hole and told me to smile-I said, 'if I didn't have to wait 20 minutes to hit every shot maybe I would'-his response was 'you're lucky you're not on the Valley nine, it's slower than this', upon which I was ready to tear his eyes out but restrained myself and went 2 under for the last 6 holes, including 3 reasonable birdie putts I missed.
6.  Poorly maintained-the bunkers were pretty much mud from watering.

In spite of all of this I shot 75 including a really bad double bogie from 100 yards.

So guys, what are your nominations for this list?

Shivas,

Your dream-like scenario redefines the word "bad". The course you describe falls into an entirely new category of golf courses to avoid that is simply much to awful to fit the critirea of this thread.

Tyler Kearns

"Let me tell you how bad this is -- if Halle Barry, Nicole Kidman and Salma Hayek called me and said it's the three of them in push up bras, tight shorts and halter tops and and I'm the 4th for an all day excursion with 18 at "the Hack" and 18 at Chicago Golf Club, I'd take a pass!"

Jeesus Christ, Shivas, your really are nuts! I'd fill in as the fourth for golf with those three in a large black top parking lot in a mall on Sunday morning at 6am!

Timber Point and Lido

The new courses are there and if you even drop in here once in awhile, it is depressing to know what was there in the past.

Hands down the worst golf experience ever is Shattuck in New Hampshire......no pesticides, no farirways, greens like shaggy carpets and basically 3 hours from the civilized world (Manchester VT and Hanover NH the exceptions).  I still have nightmares about that place...............

I know lots and lots of crap golf courses in Britain.  But they don't quite reach this category.  They are boring, but are cheap and don't offend.  Perhaps Rees Jones's, The Oxfordshire is the closest. Thoroughly lacking in charm, it's ugly and a "waste of a good spud field", to those with taste; but even that course does still have a few interesting and challenging holes.

As an aside.  The other big name American designer lable courses in GB&I are much the same.  Big money and thoroughly charmless!  The Nicklaus efforts,  Bob Cupp at East Sussex National (what a crappy name) which has some good moments but was still a missed opportunity.  

Smyers is easily the best with Chart Hills;  even if you don't like his aggressive bunkering...it's still a course with a good routing and many cool holes.

For anyone who knows it (I don't). What about that Ballesteros/Laura Davies course near Glasgow?  I hear horrible.

The second course at Mannings Heath?

The new Archerfield job?  I heard one completely negative report, from a man in the know.

Bill,

I was in the Desert last week for a Dave Pelz putting clinic (I was the only one there and got a 3 hour private lesson)-the instructor lives there and plays the Norman course often and said right now it's closed because it's going through major renovation including the removal of the plants in the desert area.  So maybe there's the remotest sign of hope that it could be slightly better than what we suffered through a few years ago (although you played really well if my memory serves me correctly, including making a birdie putt while on the phone with Renee).

I am actually struggling with this for all golf courses have something good about them. The bottom of the urban mui's might be on the bubble. One here has a hole with a high fense next to the green where future terrorists throw rocks/boulders at you while you are putting. The boulders are of such size that you would be wearing a toe tag on the next tee if you are hit. It makes for pace of play to pick up. I find being next to an airport has its downside. I got over that at Troon/Prestwick and for that matter at Dornoch, Nairn, Kingsbarns since the bush/cheney beat up iraq games began.

Tustin Ranch

North Hills on Long Island, next to Deepdale - but not Deepdale.

The most appropriately named course in golf: "The Badlands".  The land was bad before the course was built and they certainly didn't improve it much.

There are actually more than a few of these in Illinois.  Besides Tamarack and Seven Bridges, the worst of the lot may be Arboretum, a Nugent course where every golfer is a target for every other golfer.  Also the Bog in Saukville, WI., Palmer/Seay.  A house course with no houses but lots of decorative rocks.  Drive a little north to Kohler, or, even better, an hour northwest to Lawsonia.

rgkeller:

I agree North Hills is no Deepdale and it isn't my favorite but it isn't really THAT bad, is it?

If NH is the worst you've ever played, you spend 100% of your golf time in some pretty rareified air!