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"West Coast" Puffy Thomas

Re: Riviera - the ultimate design?
« Reply #25 on: May 09, 2002, 06:32:42 PM »
TEPaul;

Don't go there, bro.  ;)

As Shakespeare said, "What's in a name?  Would a bunker by any other name smell so sweet?"

Anyway, you asked about Huge "Puffy" Wilson, and yeah.. I know him.  What about it?  You aren't part of his posse, are you?

Huge and I hung together from the time we were wee kids in the projects back east in West Philly.  Times were tough, but we had our fun.  We had this ball-selling gig going over at Cobb's Creek by the 5th tee.  In fact, we'd sell those chumps most anything if they had the green to foot it.  Always hustlin', the two of us..

Looking back at it, that must have been the thing that got us into where we are today.  They called that poor, beat-up course a "classic", but it sho nuff didn't look like anything too special to us.  Still, as we got older, we'd grab a couple of clubs that we "found" out there, and knock it around a bit.  Once in awhile, we even found some grass to hit off, which made the game so much more fun and simpler to boot!

Anyway, as we got older and into our 20s, Huge and I started to go separate ways, if you catch my drift.  He was sent away for a stretch (some folks say he went overseas, but I have my doubts).  While he was gone, I started my own little business and hobby of growing "stuff".  It was fascinating to see how many varieties of herb..er...fescue I could come up with down by the little creek adjacent to the course.

One day Huge comes back, and I don't know if it was from the time he spent "away", or what, but all of a sudden, he's acting really whack.  He's got this golf thing really bad, and he's rapping about reduns and elps and all kinda sh*t.  

He's spending his days going around the Cobbs course asking people to hold bed sheets so he can see how they look from a distance.  Looked like white folk holdin' sheets to me.

Then, he tells me that he can get us good paying jobs, working on a construction crew building golf courses.  He says they're this new-fangled thing being built all over, some sort of Country Club for a day deal.  I had my doubts, but Huge was right.

The two of us took to it real fast, especially driving around those heavy equipment deals.  Especially building those bunkers.  We'd get in those tractors and just have at it.  Because we didn't get to see much real grass where we came from, we'd have these sort of contests between ourselves to see who could build the biggest, fattest, plumpest bunker surrounds with the thickest sod facings we could find.  

In no time at all, we became very appreciative, experts really, in the school of modern golf architecture.  The other cats on the crew took to calling both of us puffy, because most of the cool-looking bunkers we created had more hair on end than a scared cat.

Now, let's keep this between us, but somewhere in the midst of everything, a deal went bad and Huge and I had a falling out of sorts.  I had to skip to the west coast, and last I hear he's still looking for me.  

And yeah, we both cut record deals with different producers, and yeah, we still get out on the tractors now and again to build us some bunkers, the puffier the better.

But, I'm afraid our story's not going to have a happy ending.  You see, we each have our own posses these days, and the blood is bad between us.  So, if you see two construction crews out there gang-bangin' in the middle of your course some day, you can probably bet that this east coast/west coast thing...despite our remarkable similarities and love of modern design, has Gorge Thomas and Huge Wilson in the middle of it.

  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by 1056376800 »

To West Coast Puffy Thoma

Re: Riviera - the ultimate design?
« Reply #26 on: May 09, 2002, 07:53:36 PM »
Puff Baby- which of these did your daddy do and which made him roll over?





« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by 1056376800 »

anon

Re: Riviera - the ultimate design?
« Reply #27 on: May 09, 2002, 08:14:57 PM »
Nothing more pathetic than a white guy pretending to be black--not funny, bro.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by 1056376800 »

TEPaul

Re: Riviera - the ultimate design?
« Reply #28 on: May 09, 2002, 08:20:42 PM »
It's a tough life Puffy, but you're OK! Stick with us and we'll show you the light.

In the meantime let me break your lineage to you gently! Neither you, Gorge, nor Huge are any kin to Hugh and The Captain!

It's almost undeniable that Chip MacDonald is your half brother and a Maryland butcher called Charles X. MacDonald is the grandfather of the both of you. Your own blood family has been using the both of you for no good!

Don't believe me now if you don't want to but after we've applied a little architectural DNA to the both of you everthing will be square and you guys can take out the vestiges of your aggression by getting your hands in the dirt.

Your new best friends will be a couple of good dudes called Rodney Hine and Jim Wagner but particularly this unreconstructed free spirit known as Jeff Bradley!

It won't be long before the two of you will drop "Puffy" forever to become known as "Slim" and "Minny".  I know that sounds strange now but you two guys can just flip for the names!

You'll like it, I promise, and welcome to the back to the future world of 21st century classic architecture!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by 1056376800 »

guest

Re: Riviera - the ultimate design?
« Reply #29 on: May 09, 2002, 08:29:53 PM »
None of this stuff is funny. In fact it is pathetic.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by 1056376800 »

TEPaul

Re: Riviera - the ultimate design?
« Reply #30 on: May 09, 2002, 08:33:00 PM »
anon:

This thread has come a long way from Riviera, but there is something that's not very funny that's more pathetic--and it's not a white guy pretending to be black, or even a black guy pretending to be white, it's that Japanese guy who's not funny at all who's pretending to be...........?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by 1056376800 »

TEPaul

Re: Riviera - the ultimate design?
« Reply #31 on: May 09, 2002, 08:36:23 PM »
Guest:

You're absolutely right! None of this is funny! I'm going to bed and I promise you, tomorrow is a new day, and this will never happen again! Scout's Honor!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by 1056376800 »

Huge "Puffy" Wilson

Re: Riviera - the ultimate design?
« Reply #32 on: May 09, 2002, 09:32:21 PM »
Geoffrey C,

Now that second one's a damn FINE looking bunker!  Now we're stylin'.  

Why'd you post those thin, sickly ones though?

Gorge,

Did you do that second bunker?  I see I DID teach you something!  

All is forgiven...come home.  

Guest & anon,

We Puff brothers are white as Eminem, dogs.  

Remember, humor is the last defense of the visually offended.  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by 1056376800 »

TEPaul

Re: Riviera - the ultimate design?
« Reply #33 on: May 09, 2002, 10:09:48 PM »
I haven't gone to bed yet obviously but on the subject of humor on here and also generally speaking, I'm sure most of what's said on here in an attempt at humor probably isn't funny, but there's no real reason not to try to be sometimes.

And now, since I'm always on a tangent anyway, I'd like to relate something I heard quite recently from Whoopie Goldberg that was wonderful.

It was about humor but certainly wasn't meant by her to be funny! She was the recipient this last year of the Mark Twain award for humor and the evening was quite long as almost every single comedian still alive showed up to pay tribute to her. She was in the box overlooking the stage and the evening of acts and skits and tributes to her were hilarious, not the least of which were her ad lib responses to the comedians paying tribute to her.

But then the time came to give her the award and she came down from her box and told all that she almost did not come  because of the events of September 11.

But she said that a remark of Mark Twain's changed her mind. And very seriously she quoted that remark of Mark Twain,(Something like this);

"There's not a single force on earth of any kind that can withstand the onslaught of----HUMOR!

She grabbed her award and was gone! What a wonderful and true quotation!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by 1056376800 »

David Kelly

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Riviera - the ultimate design?
« Reply #34 on: May 09, 2002, 10:41:53 PM »
Tom,
Nice story but Whoopie Goldberg is to humor what Tom Fazio is to minimalism.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by 1056376800 »
"Whatever in creation exists without my knowledge exists without my consent." - Judge Holden, Blood Meridian.

TEPaul

Re: Riviera - the ultimate design?
« Reply #35 on: May 09, 2002, 11:04:03 PM »
Hmmm, what's that mean? Is Whoopie's humor really expensive?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by 1056376800 »

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