Carl
There is no need to explain, some of us have a wicked sense of humour on this side of the pond.
I would happily hold open the car door for you but I would not be a party to removing people from a club or course - that’s the responsibility of the club.
I certainly would not phone the Police, in this country they probably would not turn up for a few days anyway.
I, like you enjoy sarcasm and it too can get me into trouble. I did presume that you were having your little joke, but to think that I would call the Police over a drop of Malt of any description, well would I?
Its against the unspoken laws of Scotland.
Perhaps we jest too much, but then No, it is also good for the Soul at times.
Melvyn