Wow. Not much more to say after Tommy's eloquent post. Well said, Emperor. Excuse the double negative, but you don't wear your crown for nothing.
In response to Doug though - you nailed what I was trying to get at re one-time courses. Oh yeah, if I know I'm gonna have another chance the feeling is different completely. Love your Road Hole example!
And my equivalent to 16 Carnoustie for you is 16 Cypress for me - I keep coming back to that. See, I had made a par as a snot-nosed kid, and had regaled my friends ever since about being "even par lifetime" on that great hole... You think I wanted to give up that claim? So add this to the majesty, etc. of that great hole and yeah, I felt fear. The wonderful caddie I had that day got me through it though... after Gib, John B. and John S. and I had taken a bunch of pictures, done the tourist thing, you know, and after we were talking about whether the carry could be made with 3wood (it was a dank overcast cold day and it was a little into the wind) he pulled me aside and said just to me "ok, you've done the tourist thing, now you've got a golf shot to hit. Don't even think 3wood, it's driver, now put the swing on it you have all day and it makes it over just fine." It's amazing how much those simple words calmed me and my fear was transformed to an odd serenity... and damned if that driver didn't make it over, almost hitting the stick.
Sorry for the trip down memory lane but hey, this thread is a good place for it!
In any case, fear exists, hell yes it does. The white knuckles came up again on the putt, as all I could think about after I calmed down from celebrating making it over was what I now had to do to stay even par lifetime...
Tom Paul also speaks eloquently about competition, and thanks Tom for that! I understand this and I am glad I did such as well, though my experience was far more limited and far less successful than the Doyen's! But yes, testing one's self in this way brings satisfaction win or lose for sure. I'm also glad I knew when to stop though - when golf is seeming like work and causing ulcers, it's time to find another sport, or change one's approach. Luckily I discovered whisky at the same time I discovered this...
TH