Jay -
I'm going to offer a little constructive feedback not on the piece but on your reactions to everyone's comments.
Personally, I can't find a good reason to give you an honest assessment of the writing. If you get positive feedback, it serves to reinforce your obviously strong feelings about this work, but I don't see how that improves you as a writer. If you get negative feedback, you spend an awful lot of energy debating, refuting, or agreeing to disagree with the comments, which isn't improving your writing either. You throw it out there for review, but I don't get the sense you really wanted to hear that it needed improvement.
Contrast this with Josh, who seems to get it. He asked for feedback on his paintings, both positive and negative. I get the sense that he's for real when he says "tell me if there's something you loathe about my paintings. He may not agree with everyone's opinion or even change his style, but I think he understands that an important balance exists - he can be (and should be) true to his style, but there's also a lot to be gained from soliciting and thoughtfully entertaining the audience or customer's feedback. Sometimes, you can take that criticism with a simple "thank you" even if you don't agree with it.
I'm not sure why I'm even trying to give a complete stranger unsolicited constructive feedback on a public forum, but after 3 pages of the same thing, I feel compelled. I hope you won't take this personally or become too offended by my comments, as that isn't my intent.