What a great thread. There's some serious wisdom being imparted here; I hope it's being read and digested by most of the DG.
1. Women are not slow players, by definition. My wife is as fast as they come. We play in 3-3 1/2 hours when the course is open and we're not in any particular hurry, and I'm slowing her up. She'd be done in 2:45 if it weren't for me. That is not to say, however, that there aren't slow women players. My wife's biggest gripe about her Tuesday league is being stuck behind some of the slow players. In other words, anybody can be pokey.
2. The stigma I was referring to was all about men being asked to move up to the forward tee when it's best suited for their game. They generally will not, because they don't want to undermine their manhood. But I hadn't thought about it from the women's point of view: they're also being asked (or at least being permitted) to play less of course. As Dan said, I don't know any men who have ever expressed a lack of respect for a woman simply because she's playing from 5,000 yards as opposed to 6,500, but that doesn't mean a woman doesn't feel less respected than the guys who play the longer sets of tees.
This question can be recast as part of our ongoing debate over the meaning and importance of par. If my wife and most of her friends hit only 3 or 4 greens per round, are they not enjoying the game as much? They're playing against each other -- not against men -- so if par (or regulation) were taken out of the equation, I can understand why many would prefer to play a longer golf course.
I wonder, when my GIRs drop to 3 or 4 per round, whether I'll be willing to move up to a set of tees that gives me more chances for shorter approach shots. I don't think there's a right answer here; it all depends on what it takes for you to enjoy your day.