.... you walk a course even when a cart is provided for no additional cost.
.... you pull a cart and wear a Timex when 90% of your colleagues ride their climate-controlled cars and sport their Rolexs.
.... you actually see and understand the various options inherent in every hole and play to your strengths that day, while your less "pure" buddy pulls the driver out and hits it as hard as he can at the hole.
.... you insist on putting everything out, keep an accurate scorecard and require that your opponent signs it after completing the round.
..... you believe that anything pre-1940 has architectural merit, and most everything since has none.
.... you think that the runner is a more elegant, sophisticated shot requiring more imagination, skill, and touch than the one which bores through the air to a tight pin position.
.... you hold that hitting prodigious drives is highly overrated.
.... you believe you have a monopoly on the truth, and those holding views otherwise are one or more of the following: ignorant simpletons, egotisitcal, selfish, greedy, and otherwise incapable of possessing any redeeming personal qualities.
.... you believe that the ball should be rolled back to the early 1970s when the red Max would change shapes to an egg if kept in the trunk for 24 hours in the summer? or the perhaps to the earlier Spalding Dot? maybe the Haskell?
.... you think that the game has gotten too easy because Phil shoots 62 at Spyglass, but can't remember when you broke 80 the last time from the up tees at Joe Six Pack Municipal.
..... you long for the "good ole days" when things were simple, gas was 35 cents, golf courses weren't crowded, green fees were $10, you could get a full set of clubs for a couple hundred bucks (but you conveniently forget that you were making $2.25 an hour).