Bob Huntley,
I am sorry about your friend.
In his spirit, here's one, though not of the quick type.
While walking down the street one day
a U.S. Senator is
tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the
entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter.
"Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.
We seldom see a high official around these parts,
you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up.
What we'll do is have you spend one day
in hell and one in heaven.
Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind.
I want to be in heaven,"
says the Senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the
elevator and he goes
down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the
middle of a green golf course.
In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in
front of it are all his friends and other politicians
who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress.
They run to greet him,
shake his hand,
and reminisce about the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf
and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil,
who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time
dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that before he
realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves
while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up
and the door reopens on heaven
where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the senator
joining a group of contented souls moving
from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.
They have a good time and,
before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by
and St.Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell
and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers:
"Well, I would never have said it before,
I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I
would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down,
down,
down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's
in the middle of a Barren land covered
with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags,
picking up the trash and putting it in
black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm
around his shoulder.
"I don't understand,"
stammers the Senator.
"Yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and clubhouse,
and we ate lobster and caviar,
drank champagne, and danced and had a great time.
Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage
and my friends look miserable.
What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says,
"Yesterday we were campaigning......
Today you voted."
If anyone can teach me how to post Windows Media Player files, I have a couple of clips which may be appropriate.