[nandoal]

Ok guys I need a lil help.  This past Dec. I got enagaged.  So we're getting married next Jan in Vegas and are looking for honeymoon destinations.  I said to her the only thing I want is to play golf once in Vegas and once on our honeymoon.  So I ask where should I play in Vegas and where to take our Honeymoon (warm weather) and what course to play?  Thanks guys.

[Dan Kelly]

Her name's not Britney, I hope.

[Tommy Williamsen]

South shore cc in vegas
The prince on Kuai and stay there for an awesome honeymoon that anyone wood love.

[A.G._Crockett]

Nandoal,
Can you say M-I-S-T-A-K-E?

From someone happily married for 25 yrs. who plays 125 rds. a year, I'm tellin' ya, no matter how much she SAYS it'll be o.k. for you to play on your honeymoon, it isn't.  That round will stay on the board for a long, long time.

Best advice:  Make all the plans to play, but then don't.  It'll translate to more golf and less alimony later.

[Pat Sisk]

A.G.,

That's the best advice I've ever seen on this forum.  

[Patrick_Mucci]

Nandoal,

Listen to A. G. Crockett.

Besides, it's cold in January, in Vegas and almost everywhere else.  Go tropical and forget the golf, there'll be plenty of time to play all the rounds you want, later.

[Dan Smoot]

Honeymoon.  San Diego - Torrey Pines, 22+ years ago.  She never said a word about it then or since.  We walked, talked and watched the ocean and the hang gliders.  Great weather and alot to do and see in the area.  Smart enough only to play one time - don't push it.

[Tim_Weiman]

nandoal:

Add me to those who think AG Crockett is giving you really good advice. Take it from someone whose fiancee said "oh, it's fine if you want to play golf" and later couldn't stand it whenever I did.

I should have known better.

[Jimmy Muratt]

Nandoal,

I got married last June and went to Cabo in Mexico for our honeymoon.  Both my wife and I loved it.  I played golf twice while she was at the spa, it worked out well.  I played Cabo del Sol (Nicklaus) and Querencia (Fazio).  Both were good and totall different.  Cabo del Sol has a great setting, several spectacular seaside holes, check out the writeup in the "Courses by Country" section.  Querencia is set up in the hills but has some major elevation changes.  It's private but a couple of the nicer hotels can arrange tee times.  You may also want to check out El Dorado (Nicklaus), I've heard great things about it and from what I saw, it looked spectacular.

As far as places to stay, I cannot recommend Las Ventanas al Paraiso highly enough.  It is spectacular.  The place feels like you are isolated from the rest of the world.  The food is incredible and your wife will love the spa.  

[Brian_Gracely]

and if you're opnly planning (or thinking about) on playing 1 round, don't bother taking your clubs.  it's too much of a nightmare to get clubs through the airports these days.  if you MUST play, rent them from a local course.  keep in mind that this probably translates to "she MUST spend lots of money while you're out"...

...and don't forgot, backing out at this point is still an option  

[Mike_Cirba]

So, nandoal...why are you getting married again?  

[THuckaby2]

At first glance I was about to also concur and say listen to AGC... then I thought this through a bit more, and I'm thinking now that that's the wrong approach.

Yes, a golf round on the honeymoon MIGHT be held against you in the long term - very possible.  But it seems to me the ramifications of capitulating now are WORSE.  Man, if you are ever gonna be able to play golf at all post-marriage, it simply MUST be grandfathered in as something that you did before her and must do with her as well.  If you give in now, you set the precedent that all golf is negotiable with the starting point as NOT playing and believe me, that is NOT what you want.

So my advice is different - I agree with not taking the clubs - for one round it isn't worth the hassle - but definitely include this as something you're gonna do - don't even make a big deal about it, just do it as if it's totally normal - and bring her along for the ride.  Make it a VERY scenic course, such that she will enjoy riding along, taking pictures, drinking cocktails, etc.  Cabo works great for this, as would basically anywhere in Hawaii.

Give in now and you're gonna spend the rest of your marriage begging.... Make it a normal grandfathered in activity and well, you'll still beg, but at least the precedent will be set and you'll have SOME ground to stand on.

Happily married for 12 years, begging for lots of rounds, but able to play a lot of golf anyway, I am,

Tom Huckaby

[Bill Gayne]

I'm with Tim and A.G. on this question. Forget the golf if she doesn't play. If you really want to score some early points go do the sport or activity she loves. We went skiing in Deer Valley for a week.  

[Scott_Burroughs]

We've had a number of folks here in the past tell of golf (and how much) on their honeymoon.  I played 3 times on Kauai.  She rode in the cart at Princeville to enjoy the views, we both played Wailua, and I played Makai solo (getting around in just 2 hours - it was almost deserted).  Still did plenty of other stuff - Waimea Canyon, luau, helicopter ride, boat ride, beach, other sightseeing, even bought a timeshare.  Still married 9.5 years later.

I've found it interesting a few who have told of trouble travelling with golf clubs lately.  Every time I fly, my clubs go with me, and I have yet to have any trouble, ever.  Flew 5 times last year, 5 times in 2002, and also less than 4 weeks after 9/11 in 2001.  No trouble anywhere.  All domestic flights, though.

[A.G._Crockett]

Tom,
I didn't say give in!  You've just got to pick the hill you want to die on, and this isn't it!

I said make all the plans to play, then don't.  When she asks why, let her know she's more important than golf when crunch time comes.  (She isn't of course, but that's another conversation.)  Make a large deposit now, bigger withdrawals later.  Golf on the honeymoon is a HUGE withdrawal that'll take a long time to cover.

[THuckaby2]

Ah but Bill, you will score points in the short term but lose FAR too many in the long.... you'll win one battle but definitely lose a life-time war....

Re travelling with clubs - for me it's not security hassle, but just the hassle of lugging them along.  For one round only it seems to me renting would work just fine.. especially travelling on honeymoon... if nandoal's new wife is like most other females, she's gonna take up the luggage allotment on her own.  

TH

[THuckaby2]

AGC:

I know exactly what you said, and to me it's a very dangerous precedent to set.  You say straight from the start that golf is negotiable from the starting point of not playing... that means every other round post-honeymoon will start from this point - she'll assume you're NOT gonna play, because she means more to you than golf.  Of course we all know that should be true, right?  But she will then take that to mean picking curtains is more important than golf... buying lampshades... chatting with her mother... oh man, it is too frightening to contemplate.

The precedent simply MUST be set early that golf is a normal thing that you do, and the honeymoon is CRUCIAL in setting this precedent.  I know what you're trying to say - you're showing her that you're willing to give it up for her - but as a non-golfer she's gonna ASSUME that anyway!  So you really gain nothing by doing this, and lose a LOT.

Nope, I'm standing firm on this one.  Play one round - pushing it farther, as Scott and others here did (and hell, I did too, but that as at her urging), bring her along for the ride, low-key it as just another normal thing you do.  Set the precedent.  

TH

[Daryl "Turboe" Boe]

nandoal,

I have to come down the other direction from A.G. and Pat (Squared).

I got married a couple years ago.  And although I didnt get to play in Vegas, I did get to play on the morning of my wedding here in SC.  Shot 75 (A very good round for me) to which one of my friends responded you are not supposed to be able to do that on the morning of your wedding, you are supposed to be more nervous than that.  In fact my wife mentioned when we were planning the wedding she mentioned that if we had an early evening wedding that I could get out with some of the guys in town for the wedding and play golf that morning.  Now that is a girl who thinks clearly.

I played four times on my honeymoon in Hawaii.  Now my wife did play with the first three times, which was all I was originally intending to play.  But then on our last day she said, "I want to go lay out in the sun, and I know you dont enjoy that so why dont you go play golf by yourself at Mauna Lani."  Depending on your wifes attitude it does not have to be a no-no like these other guys would have you believe.

Other than that I would concurr we loved Kauai, and the Prince would be a great choice.  Does your wife play.  When we played the Prince we made a day of it, she played golf in the morning with me, and afterwards we headed to the airport that is nearly across the street from Princeville and did a helicopter tour of Kauai's Interior, and NW coast.  I was told by several people that by taking the helicopter tours out of there you get the best bang for your buck as you are always over the pristine part of the island.  If you take one of the tours out of the biggest city (I forget the name) then part of your valuable flying time you are spending flying over the city and just trying to get up to the NW side of the island.

Good luck.

Now beyond that I will also ask.  Why are you getting married.  Life as you know it is about to change.  Believe me my wife was (and I guess still is) one of the most understanding people I had ever met, but it changes once you get married.  Your golfing time seems to start dissapearing rapidly.

[Dan Kelly]

Sounds like some of you guys might not have made as smart a choice as nandoal has!

I say: Don't listen to these characters, nandoal. You know the woman; they don't.

They apparently think they do (you know: If you know one woman, you know 'em all?   ), but they don't.  

I say: If it's OK with her that you play some golf around your wedding and during your honeymoon, go for it!

Cabo is a nice spot for a honeymoon. I particularly recommend Eldorado, for that one round.

[THuckaby2]

Dan K. is obviously right on - only nandoal knows what is best here, as only he knows how his fiancee is likely to react.

But Dan is also not much fun in pointing this out.  

Also, as much as one thinks one knows a woman, I say heed the words of Turboe... marriage does change things, at least for most people... so listening to some voices of experience might not be the worst thing to do after all....

[Bill Gayne]

Tom,

For me it turned out to be a long term win. I learned how to ski and I really enjoy it. We go back to Deer Valley most every year with our two boys. My wife likes going back to where we honeymooned and the boys and I love the skiing. I haven't missed any golf because I centered the honeymoon trip around an activity for my wife.

[Lou_Duran]

Nandoal,

Listen to Huck.  The man should be teaching or writing a book on golf and the art of matrimonial negotiations.

I know of several situations, but one that comes to mind is of a golf partner at OSU-Scarlet, a then young psychiatrist who married an attractive, non-golfing psychiatric nurse.  A real golf nut, he was passionate about playing the game, and was the first guy I know to purchase a graphite shafted driver (at an outrageous price of $125 in the mid '70s).  Well after two years of marriage and the birth of his first daughter, his wife nagged him so much about golf that he quit the game.  And this was after he joined Brookside CC in Columbus and was on the waiting list at Scioto CC.

The moral of the story:  if golf is important to you, address the matter as early as possible, preferably well in advance of the fateful date.  Just like your wife will train you to do things that are important to her, you would be wise to do the same thing.  It seems to me that playing a couple of rounds in a tropical paradise in the course of a week is not unreasonable.  Start slow, build a base, then go from there.
You don't want to be 60 and regret not having scratched the itch.

BTW, my son is getting married in early June and my wife and I are looking for honeymoon ideas if some of you would care to share-   a beachie type place; all-inclusive would be ideal; golf would be great, but not a must.

[THuckaby2]

Bill:

That is fantastic and very cool for you.

But how do you know you haven't missed any golf?

Hey, I don't want to argue this - it seems to be heading toward the personal, which is surely not my intent.  We all have our own realities and Dan K. is absolutely correct in that only the person himself knows the right and proper thing to do.  I'm sure you have zero regrets, and that is fantastic!

I just felt compelled to point out that there is another way, that a different reality does exist.  For every happy guy like you, I seem to know 10 who complain like hell about not being able to play golf or do other activities they love, due to marital pressures... And for the most part, it seems to me to be because they gave it up before they really had to, setting this bad "precedent" as I say.

Again not to make this too personal, but hey, I constantly do things my wife and kids like that at first weren't my thing but now are - that's part of the deal and it sure as heck is fun also.  

I just do consider the timing of all this important.  What would be the harm of including the golf in the honeymoon, then taking her on a skiing trip a few months later?

TH

[Lou_Duran]

Dan,

Sage advice, and it too is for free!  For what that's worth, the poor guy has gotten every possible suggestion.

Great idea about Los Cabos.  I will check into it.

[WindyCityMike]

Marriage changes things? Maybe, but it could mean she wants you out of the house and knocking around little white balls instead of foolishly attempting to use power tools or paint brushes. She might even like you better all sweaty and pheromoney.

Play golf on your honeymoon, nandoal. Let her decide if she wants to play, walk the course, or relax and just enjoy the post-wedding-ordeal vacation. And when you get back, play golf whenever you want. You love the game, she loves you-- package deal.

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