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Mike Hendren

  • Karma: +0/-0
Thank you Matt.  Well done.


This thread reminds me of the writing of Father Richard Rohr:  People who have had no inner struggles are invariably both superficial and uninteresting.


Be well.


Mike
Two Corinthians walk into a bar ....

John Kavanaugh

  • Karma: +0/-0
I started writing this post with the intention of including a few short points about my own experiences, as I have found hearing about how others work to improve their lives helps me with my processes. However, I got on a roll and just kept going. It’s long, but it was cathartic. Feel free to skip over this one if you’re not interested. :)

…..

I struggle with depression and anxiety. In some instances, I am able to identify what may have triggered new bouts of such, but oftentimes, episodes pop up. Sometimes they’re slow to metastasis, other times, they come out of nowhere. The feeling of dread and sadness can last minutes or weeks, and it can be terrible for not just myself, but those around me. My typical reaction is to become antisocial, quiet, and wall myself off from the world, which is convenient and easy, but often not always best, as I tend to stew.

Getting out of my funks can be tricky. Sometimes it's as simple as taking a leisurely stroll, a run, meditating, working on a jigsaw puzzle, or listening to music. Sometimes it just takes days along with trial and error for it to go away on its own. It’s frustrating. Professional therapy definitely helps, but for the average person like myself, visiting a therapist anytime they wish is not possible. But one thing always does seem to help, even for just a short time: golf.

It should not be a shock to most people on this board that the game of golf can help improve my mood. I am sure playing golf improves the mood of almost everyone here, whether they know have things to sort out, or they don’t. What golf provides is different for everyone, or even each situation.

There have been times, even very recently, where I have been unmotivated to do anything, much less play golf. However, the game that always seems to bring people back works its magic and somehow convinces me to go out for another round. There is no one solution to improving my mood on the golf course, at least for me. I do not belong to a private club or have a regular haunt, and thus, rarely play the same course more than a few times per year.

On occasion, it’s the course itself. A well-designed golf course, particularly one that is well suited to its setting, can be breathtaking, awe-inspiring, a marvel, or just plain fun, much like a piece of art. A discussion that occurs on this site regularly: art, function, and engineering, melded into one. Personally, rounds on golf courses that have helped lift my spirits include Knoll West (a round this year) in Jersey and Westport on the Adirondack Coast.

While these two courses may not be at the very top of any ranking or featured very frequently in architectural digests, but hell, they are engaging. Going into each round under a bit of a cloud (ironically it was rainy on both days), I didn’t expect much, even though they were both courses I’ve wanted to see for some time. It didn’t take long for the course to take hold of me, and focus only on it. At Knoll West, it was tee shot placement and which portion of the green to aim for. Had it not been for the hour, I would have inquired about going around again. At Westport, it was the imposing mountain dome, hovering close to the ever-firm, ever-strategic golf course, yet appearing so far that you longed to be among their rolling sides. By the time I finished my round, which, for the first time seeing the course, was pretty decent for my standards, a 79, I was ready for a hearty lunch and a beer, while continuing to digest the course I had just played. I felt so good leaving the course, I stopped to play a nine-holer, Cobble Hill, a course built in 1896 that featured solid golf holes, a better price, and just enough quirk to make you really smile and as you enjoy yourself. It turned out to be a beautiful day.

In some ways golf is a solitary game. There are times, particularly for a regular player, where you can enjoy the game alone by yourself. I like to play with people, but sometimes, you are your own best golf partner. Playing alone, especially on an empty or near-empty course, can be healing. Having worked in the golf industry in some form or fashion since high school, I’ve had several of these recharging experiences, highlighted by a round at Malone Golf Club.

While it’s hardly the most difficult job in the world, much less New York State, being a PGA Professional is not easy. Mostly, long hours and popular times. It’s being “on” all the time. A lot of golf professionals swear by the curing power of the range picker (I am one also), but nothing beats a round, or even a few holes, on an empty course, by yourself. I cannot say what was bothering me in 2012, but I was definitely not feeling it. I decided to go out for a few holes in the evening, as there was extra coverage in the golf shop, but still plenty of carts on the back nine. When you’re alone you can immerse yourself in your swing, your score, the course, or nature. I finished nine with plenty of time to spare to send home a cart kid and wait for the last groups to come in. To my surprise, I had exited my funk, after seemingly not done anything of note, and was excited for work the next day.

Perhaps the aspect of golf that seems to help the most, is the company. Playing partners are as important to the game as the ball itself. They are your friends, your best friends, acquaintances, colleagues, neighbors, and complete strangers. They can make your round an absolute delight, or make you want to quit the game. Some of my favorite, most memorable rounds, came on poorly-designed or beyond benign golf courses, or bad scores, or both!

One such instance was a round of golf at one of two golf courses (you can take your pick of two similar days). Bad work, bad week, bad mood, long drive, bad golf course. Motivation was not on my side for anything but bed. But away I went, with two of my best partners, Joe Bausch and Mike Cirba. The combination of our terrible commitment on worse swings and our distaste for the course design made us giddy. It by the 12th hole, we were laughing at every dumb thing. I forgot I was even sad. There is nothing better than a round of golf with good people.

I’ll finish with one last story: my round of golf at Yeaman’s Hall. Having worked at Camargo, and remaining very close with the PGA Head Professional there, I had been wishing to see Yeaman’s for some time. My bride and I were in Myrtle Beach with my in-laws, and I was fortunate enough to have an invitation to play at the club, scheduled to be one of the first groups out. The night before, I had a severe panic attack that seemingly lasted hours. I couldn’t calm down, my mind was racing, I was becoming physically ill, and I certainly couldn’t sleep. I was in as dark a place as I’ve ever been.

As my symptoms began to wear down, and not being sure of another opportunity to play Yeaman’s, I hopped in the car while it was still dark out, and made the drive south. I was still pretty jittery and worked up. I got less than a couple of hours of actual sleep, leaving me exhausted. I actually had to pull over to get something to drink and munch on just to wake me up a little bit. As I pulled up to the club’s quaint gatehouse, I was thinking less about the course and my round, and more about just getting through it without a flare up.

I knew a couple of the PGA Assistant Professionals, via our Camaro connection, and their familiar faces helped ease my stress a bit. By the time I teed off on No. 2, playing alongside an assistant and two members, my mood began to improve. The round turned out to be a mix of all three aspects I’ve previously described. As a surprise to no one, the course was fantastic. Firm, fast, strategic, and beautiful. I was engaged in my shot process as I ever had been, the tee balls in particular. Surprisingly, my swing also felt good. My tempo was relaxed and I was (mostly) hitting the shots I wanted to; my score was surprisingly good, a 76 if I recall correctly. Lastly, while the course was assuredly not empty, I played near the end of the members’ offseason, so it was far from crowded, allowing meditative time to myself in between the delightful conversations I had with my playing partners. The perfect combination erased my worries in a matter of hours. While the panic attack was still fresh in my mind, the physical and debilitating mental aspects seemed long gone.

Without a doubt, golf has saved a lot of people, and I use the game not just for entertainment anymore, but as a form of therapy. It has the power to relax, put things into perspective, and allows me to enjoy what’s presented. I hope others here feel the same way.


Too good to be the 24th post. Thanks.

Terry Lavin

  • Karma: +0/-0
Clearly there is stigma involved in admitting stress, anxiety and depression. But everybody who is afflicted needs a colleague and a professional to guide them through this troubling process. It ain’t easy. And the antisocial Covid time hasn’t helped, but pressing the mute button is the worst option, it seems to me.
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people.  H.L. Mencken

mike_beene

  • Karma: +0/-0
I will say that a good antidepressant has been very important to my life. If I didn’t know better I would say there is no way I need them because I am not depressed. But the few times I have gone two days without reminds me they are essential.Alcohol counters the pills and the wine better be good because I will have a few down days.Golf remains important to me, but it was crucial prior to getting medical help. As a trial lawyer and then lobbyist and now a kind of trial lawyer, this would have been used against me. Those days are fortunately gone. There is a great quality in advocacy and in life when you simply be yourself.

Peter Pallotta

My sincere thanks to those who have shared their experience(s) so openly. That was both kind and generous of you. I have learned several important things -- not just with my head but at the heart & spirit level too.
My thanks and warm regards
Peter

jeffwarne

  • Karma: +0/-0

On occasion, it’s the course itself. A well-designed golf course, particularly one that is well suited to its setting, can be breathtaking, awe-inspiring, a marvel, or just plain art.

At Westport, it was the imposing mountain dome, hovering close to the ever-firm, ever-strategic golf course, yet appearing so far that you longed to be among their rolling sides. By the time I finished my round, which, for the first time seeing the course, was pretty decent for my standards, a 79, I was ready for a hearty lunch and a beer, while continuing to digest the course I had just played. I felt so good leaving the course, I stopped to play a nine-holer, Cobble Hill, a course built in 1896 that featured solid golf holes, a better price, and just enough quirk to make you really smile and as you enjoy yourself. It turned out to be a beautiful day.

In some ways golf is a solitary game. There are times, particularly for a regular player, where you can enjoy the game alone by yourself. I like to play with people, but sometimes, you are your own best golf partner. Playing alone, especially on an empty or near-empty course, can be healing.

While it’s hardly the most difficult job in the world, much less New York State, Being a PGA Professional is not easy. Mostly, long hours and popular times. It’s being “on” all the time. A lot of golf professionals swear by the curing power of the range picker (I am one also), but nothing beats a round, or even a few holes, on an empty course, by yourself.

Perhaps the aspect of golf that seems to help the most, is the company. Playing partners are as important to the game as the ball itself. They are your friends, your best friends, acquaintances, colleagues, neighbors, and complete strangers. They can make your round an absolute delight, or make you want to quit the game. Some of my favorite, most memorable rounds, came on poorly-designed or beyond benign golf courses, or bad scores, or both!

The combination of our terrible commitment on worse swings and our distaste for the course design made us giddy. It by the 12th hole, we were laughing at every dumb thing. I forgot I was even sad. There is nothing better than a round of golf with good people.


Without a doubt, golf has saved a lot of people, and I use the game not just for entertainment anymore, but as a form of therapy. It has the power to relax, put things into perspective, and allows me to enjoy what’s presented. I hope others here feel the same way.


Great post Matt-I quoted the parts that I can really relate to-so true about the range picker!
Golf has been a great life for me, yet it's always been the "game" that inspires me and brings me back.
The rise of the "business", while beneficial to me personally, has always troubled me, and it is difficult to walk the fine line.
Hearing the phrase "Grow the game" bandied about has always troubled me as selfishly I've always preferred the game grow organically over time on its substantial merits, not on the backs of some ill construed social media platform or as a means for someone to feel as if they are more "cool".
GCA has been a huge resource for me finding the places where the "game" outweighs the business, and for that I am grateful.


As a gatekeeper for a course in an extremely heavily traveled rater and box ticker region, I really enjoyed Matt's description of his 18 hole day, followed by a spontaneous 9, especially when it involves two compelling courses far off the plurally logoed box ticker's radar.


Also, great posts by Ian and Angela.


Most have demons and we all have a different way of coping with them.
Few in the industry are as open as the three of them and I applaud them.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2021, 08:10:30 AM by jeffwarne »
"Let's slow the damned greens down a bit, not take the character out of them." Tom Doak
"Take their focus off the grass and put it squarely on interesting golf." Don Mahaffey

John Kavanaugh

  • Karma: +0/-0
In today's litigious society hitting at the range picker worries me. It is acceptable at every level of club and for every age of golfer? While I would never do it now inside 200 yds, I can remember some good times in the past.

jeffwarne

  • Karma: +0/-0
In today's litigious society hitting at the range picker worries me. It is acceptable at every level of club and for every age of golfer? While I would never do it now inside 200 yds, I can remember some good times in the past.


It ain't "hitting" at the range picker we covet.
It's "HIDING" in the range picker.....
"Let's slow the damned greens down a bit, not take the character out of them." Tom Doak
"Take their focus off the grass and put it squarely on interesting golf." Don Mahaffey

John Kavanaugh

  • Karma: +0/-0
Most of my best friends are ex-pros. God do I love you guys.

Eric Smith

  • Karma: +0/-0
In today's litigious society hitting at the range picker worries me. It is acceptable at every level of club and for every age of golfer? While I would never do it now inside 200 yds, I can remember some good times in the past.


It ain't "hitting" at the range picker we covet.
It's "HIDING" in the range picker.....


+1e

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