OT: signs that someone is or might be cheating at golf (funny)

[archie_struthers]

 


some obvious , some valid , some mostly funny


They speed ahead to find their ball , particularly when it's not in short grass


They yell , I've got it , when it's obvious it hasn't been found yet


they never want help looking either


They constantly are "identifying their ball"


They destroy whole trees in their search for the ball


They are masters at taking a stance


they will certainly have a gimme if you let them mark it twice


they can cry at will to cause casual water


* they will always park their cart between you and their golf ball , eliminating the view


 they don't mark their ball very well ...leads to speculation


they wear soccer shoes to play in


they can flip pennies with the best of them


they have a three minute timer that takes five minutes to go off

[Jeff Schley]

Archie another I love:

• Playing partner: I found a ball here!
• Less than honest golfer: "what is it?"
• Playing partner: It's a (any manufacturer) number (any number)
• Less than honest golfer: "yeah that's it!"

[JMEvensky]

From across the fairway, I once watched a fraternity brother (10-ish handicap) hit the green with a 3-wood from a fairway bunker--over a lip, over a lake, over a bunker, from about 225 yards.


When I commented on the tee lying in the sand, he figured it must've fallen out of his pocket during his swing. We didn't play any more golf together after that.

[Peter Pallotta]

If on the first tee he's nervously adjusting his shirt collar and clearing his throat and says 'I sure hope everyone around here plays by the rules' as he alternates between looking down at the ground and giving his playing partners sideway glances -- well, I'm pretty sure that he's the cheater!

[archie_struthers]

 


There was one guy we used to play with that always moved the ball. A really good player, had the disease. We weren't playing for enough to worry too much and we often laughed about it!  Over time whenever anyone saw him moving it they would yell "it looks like rain" no matter if it was 90 degrees with the brightest sunshine.  Can't stop laughing remembering those afternoon games.  

[Pete_Pittock]

Looking for their ball with another ball in their hand.

[Kalen Braley]

My only experience with this was a co-worker who used foot wedges and preferred lies on at least half the holes, especially if he hit it in the rough.

We never played for money and was always good for a few jokes, so we didn't mind much.  But there was always the eye roll moment when he'd brag about shooting an 83 or something after the round. 

[Peter Flory]

They talk how they are proud of how they were able to block out all of the noise.   

[Kalen Braley]

One other amusing story from several years back.

As a single I was paired with a two-some and one of them is a real chatter box, which I didn't mind.  We tee off on #1 and off he goes about all these mid 70s he's been shooting, so i'm thinking nice.  As the round continues, I'm like this guy must be having a very off day cause he's bogeying almost every hole and may not break 90.  Turns out, didn't seem like he was counting all of his gimmie pickups, (which everything inside 5 feet qualified) as strokes on the card.  Sure enough after the round he was bragging about another 77 or something like that and I was thinking ummm more like 91...lol.

[MKrohn]

Oft told story at my club about one of the well known cheats.


Goes into the pro shop for a new pair of shoes and was asked what loft he wanted.

[Steve Lang]

   We used to have a guiding rule, "if you're bending down, you better be tying your shoes!"


also all bets were "throw down" type... crumple up your chosen denomination bill and throw it down on ground if you're in on the bet... losers walk on, winner has to pick up the winnings... keeps people from betting but not paying off

[archie_struthers]

Oft told story at my club about one of the well known cheats.


Goes into the pro shop for a new pair of shoes and was asked what loft he wanted.

That’s so good 😊

[SL_Solow]

We had a fellow who always wore trousers with a hole in one pocket.  He didn't have to bend down, just rolled one down his pants leg.  One way to stop some of this is to adopt the "clap" rule.  If you're in the rough and you don't have a club in both hands, you had better be clapping.

[Joel Zuckerman]

I participated in what I knew would be my last media event down in Scottsdale in December 2019. Three days, probably fifty writers/bloggers/videographer types involved.
One of the rounds I get paired with some doofus who couldn’t hit snow if he slipped off an igloo.  He duffed his tee shot maybe 50 yards, I was down the fairway, came back in the cart to see if he needed another club, he had teed up his ball in the fairway so he could attempt to whack it with the driver he still had in his hand.


He ended up winning third net, or somesuch nonsense… What a sad sack.

[Tim_Weiman]

Archie,


I am surprised this thread has come so far without any mention of cheaters who used to work at the White House.


No. I am not thinking of Trump. He just built buildings.


What about a guy who had a statue built of him in town in front of the police station?


My very Republican hated it!

[archie_struthers]

 


No politics on my thread Tim.....puhleeze

[Mike_Young]

first sign is usually taking a mulligan

[Tim_Weiman]

No politics on my thread Tim.....puhleeze

Archie,


Ok. Trust me, the locals loved this President!

[Tommy Williamsen]

When my buddy and I were members at Four Streams we generally took Jimmy as our caddie. My buddy always over swung on the tee ball at 11. Invariably, he would hit it in the high weeds on the right. Jimmy would set up camp in his "landing zone." One day Greg hit farther right than he ever had in waist high weeds. When we got to the edge of the two inch rough I saw a ball. "Whose ball is that, Jimmy?" "Greg's. It hit a deer and bounded out." Greg made bogey and never said a thing.