Waded thru a lot there before I opined. Think it's one of the hardest things for an operator to get his arms around. Every place is different and some need members more than others so it begets differing opinions.
Fast play a must ! Unless its late afternoon and no one is around,then do whatever you want! If someone pulls up , wave them thru. Dress code and hats can be tough, I've seen members that never tucked their shirts in but were impeccably well dressed. thye sure looked better than me
so unless it's really out their or offensive live and let live.
Perhaps hats in the grill room but not in a more formal dining room if one exists, again it's related specifically to the locale and often the net worth of the membership. If forced to a vote, no hats.
Five-somes are fine with me, but it's not a right. If you can't keep up with five you lose the privilege so be careful, needs some good management to enforce this well but in the end it's pace of play not number that matters.
I feel Tim Martin's pain on music , tough one where if it becomes a problem address it, more the earbuds kind of guy if you want music, but it's not legal in many events....believe it or not
overall respect your fellow golfers and try to keep your powder dry unless it's really bad