I'm with Tim and Mike. I pull my hat off as I walk through doors out of habit, and I don't generally play music myself on the course. But I also don't mind it, in my group or from others, as long as the volume isn't ridiculous (admittedly not always the case). And it doesn't ruin my day to see a hat worn inside.
I do like a strong club culture, and there are absolutely club cultures I love that have the level of formality that Ted desires. I wouldn't bring a Bluetooth speaker to Cherry Hills. But it certainly doesn't diminish Kingsley's golf-obsessed culture when there's music playing on the driving range, either. Although it should be noted that even Kingsley's tiny and spartan clubhouse has nails outside to hang your hat on.
I completely agree with Ted in that I want a club focused on golf, with a savvy and deep appreciation for the game. But I don't buy that stuffiness has to go hand in hand with it. I can have a great time playing along in a stuffy spot, but as usual, I more relate to Bogey's take. Some of my favorite golf cultures are found at places that take all comers and charge next-to-nothing for dues. If I use my own club as an example, you don't join Miami View to boast that you're a member of an exclusive joint, or for the pool, tennis, and formal dining that we don't have available. You join because you love playing golf. And once you join, a plethora of tournaments, outings, leagues, and open games on offer make for both ample opportunity to play with other members, and a busy course that's hard to get out onto at ideal times unless you Buddy Up! and take advantage of the aforementioned tournaments, outings, leagues, and open games.
It's sort of a virtuous cycle: attract golf-minded members, provide welcoming and fun opportunities for those members to play with other members, and pretty soon you have new members who've plugged into your competitive golf-focused culture hanging out around the 19th hole, and maybe bringing a buddy with them now and then who eventually decides to submit a membership application, starting the cycle all over again.