"You keep using that word" An offer to edit for free

[Ronald Montesano]

(Modified from original, insensitive post)

Here's an offer: I will edit for free. If you plan to self-publish a book, send me five pages. I won't change your wording (unless a word is missing, and then I will add in what I think you meant to type.) I won't change your style. If you like what I've done in five pages, we can do another five. Eventually, we'll get there.

Folks 'round these parts consider golf courses to be living memorials for the builders and architects. If you are taking the time to write a book, this is your memorial.

You don't have to love me, but you will love the errors that I catch, especially when it's free.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2y8Sx4B2Sk

[John Kavanaugh]

If you have ever wanted to do stand up at an open mike I will write you 5 min of material for free. If the first 5 min goes well we can work on the next 5...

[jeffwarne]

If you have ever wanted to do stand up at an open mike I will write you 5 min of material for free. If the first 5 min goes well we can work on the next 5...

Now's the chance to grab the mikerophone Ron....

[John Kavanaugh]

I’ve got a great opening for Ron.  I’ve never performed before a audience who wouldn’t get arrested if they left early. There are truancy officers stationed at the exits.

[John Kavanaugh]

There’s are two things in life that I really love. Golf and Wake Forest. As you may know Arnold Palmer is perhaps our most famous Alumnus. Arnold was also know to be as proficient in the bedroom as he was on the golf course. Now I worked on my golf game and worked and worked until I could pass as a guy who could golf his ball with the best of them. I just couldn’t get get anybody back to my dorm to shine my 2 iron. Then I saw that iconic commercial where AP was hawking motor oil. Us Wake grads call him AP. Just like my hero I started carrying a can of Vavoline with me everywhere I went on campus. Finally one day after my advanced physical education class on how to avoid shower toe fungus it happened. I got all the ass any man could handle. Unfortunately it was mine. Thanks Vavoline!!! To no avail I also ended up with a mean case of Demon Deacon.

[John Kavanaugh]

I know it’s Valvoline. Vavoline is funnier.

[Mike_Young]

AP used to do Pennzoil commercials with the Toro Parkmaster tractor in the mid 80's.  That's when Toro decided to hire him to do an ad campaign...didn't Pennzoil buy Quaker State/Valvoline at some point?

[John Kavanaugh]

AP used to do Pennzoil commercials with the Toro Parkmaster tractor in the mid 80's.  That's when Toro decided to hire him to do an ad campaign...didn't Pennzoil buy Quaker State/Valvoline at some point?

That is an example of a great editor!!!

[John Kavanaugh]

I’m going to have to push back on this. Vavoline is so close to Vasoline that it works in the context of the joke. How does an editor reconcile this type of thing?

[Mike Hendren]

John, just this year  we’ve learned an ancestor of yours attended a toney private college, you recently played golf with Gary Player, you are wintering in Florida and as a practicing Catholic you attended an expensive Baptist school.


Just stop it - The enigmatic Barney was so much more interesting. Hillbilly my arse.


Hendren

[John Kavanaugh]

I gave RoMo the prop comic comedian the catch phrase “get get” to appeal to the hillbilly crowd.

[Mike_Young]

I’m going to have to push back on this. Vavoline is so close to Vasoline that it works in the context of the joke. How does an editor reconcile this type of thing?

It would take at least another 5 pages...

[John Kavanaugh]

Funny thing happened to me at Bob Evans this morning. I ordered three eggs scrambled and a side of links. They brought my eggs and a copy of the Constitution. Somebody get get my lawyer, or my caddie, or my caddie who is a lawyer. I can't eat this!!! A link is a link damnit. What is wrong with you people?