Ira - I imagine your hypothetical friend as me. Like your friend, I have my preferences, but am fairly open minded; and, like him I've done some reading, but have rarely experienced top-flight architecture in person. So, where do I think you should take *me* to get interested in & inspired by golf course architecture? Well, this is an obvious answer, but I'd say 'take me to Pacific Dunes'.
From what I can tell, PD shares this over-riding quality/characteristic with most all of Tom's other courses: the architecture is so fundamentally sound as to be noteworthy (and praiseworthy) even for a neophyte, but it is overlaid & held together & made to meaningfully shine by the thrills and fun it engenders in the playing, and by the flair and drama of the land-forms, features and vistas that create & surround it.
In other words: it is subtle without being shy, and it is all about the architecture without being precious; and, with a neophyte, you wouldn't want to foist upon him some shy & precious work of "Architecture" and thus risk him not 'seeing' it, or wondering what your fuss is all about.
At PD, with the space and the wind and the water and the beauty and the choices and the greens, his actual *experience* of engaging with top flight architecture will be so enthralling that it will him teach him all he needs to know about top flight architecture, and, more importantly, about top-flight *golf courses* -- all without you ever having to say a word.
Then, a year or two later, maybe you can take him (or me) to The Loop.
Peter