Tom - two men are at a bus stop. One notices the other wearing a Nike cap:
Jim: You a golfer?
Bob: (nodding) I love the game.
Jim: Me too. Do you prefer match play or stroke play?
Bob: Definitely match play.
Jim: Agree 100%. Would you rather play on green lush fairways or beige-brown fast ones?
Bob: Without a doubt, the brown baked-out fast ones.
Jim: Well, what do you know - again, me too! We should get out and play sometimes.
Bob: I'd like that a lot, thanks.
Jim: Do you play publics or privates?
Bob: Only privates, I'm afraid - I'm a member.
Jim: Me too! Classic or modern?
Bob: I'm all about the classics.
Jim: Top ranked classics or little known gems?
Bob: Oh, little known gems, every time.
Jim: My goodness, we really must get out for a quick 9 tomorrow. Ross or MacRaynor?
Bob: Ross.
Jim: The tips or the whites?
Bob: The whites - it's all about fun.
Jim: Amen to that, brother. Walking or riding?
Bob: Walking - riding shouldn't even be allowed.
Jim: Yes, sir! Fall or spring?
Bob: Fall.
Jim: Blades or cavity backs?
Bob: Blades.
Jim: Man oh man - me too, me too, and me too! You're like my new best friend.
Bob: Yes, I'm feeling exactly the same way.
Jim: Great - let's organize for tomorrow. Your course or mine?
Bob: Let's play mine. I think you'll love it -- it's tough but fair.
Jim's face gets beet red, and he starts to tremble - and then he leaps at Bob and grabs him by the throat and starts strangling him:
Jim: Heretic! Liar!! Die, die, die!!!!