[Kalen Braley]

That reminds me, when I took one of those "What is your spirit animal" quizes....the result was a scottish caddy with a thick brogue..


P.S.  I'm also guessing if you keep detailed scores for all your playing partners and make sure they putt out every each hole you'll be a big hit!!

[Tony_Muldoon]

P.S.  I'm also guessing if you keep detailed scores for all your playing partners and make sure they putt out every each hole you'll be a big hit!!

Yes and tell them what your pro has you working on in your swing..in detail.

[Kalen Braley]

Tony,


I'm guessing they'll also be wowed by a good story with name dropping.  Like the time you bumped into Bubba Watson at Chili's after the 2nd round of the St.Jude Classic and got his autograph and thought it was funny he was pounding back an Arnold Palmer!

[John Kavanaugh]

If anyone asks who you voted for tell them that you didn't. We were refused service at a quaint little bar in London. It doesn't help being from Indiana. Indiana has quite the reputation.

[Tim Martin]

Watch the Robin Williams video for an idea of how to understand the caddies. Let them know you are not offended by off color jokes, you will hear some classics. Have a beer with them afterward, a real slice of life.

Smile and enjoy, it's a trip over there.

Do not be afraid to inform your caddie that you are there to play golf. You've heard his old jokes before. Tell him to relax and enjoy the day. He is just another guy like you earning a living, not your personal clown.

I guess I miscommunicated my intention, the group was the butt of the jokes told by the caddies. Their take on three jacking I still use.

I had a caddie tell me years ago that three putting is like masterbation. You feel bad about it but you know you are going to do it again.

[John Kavanaugh]

I could say the same about paying a $100 for a caddie.

[mike_beene]

No golf shoes in parts of clubhouse.

[Dave McCollum]

Wearing some Nike golf shoes, after the round my caddie asked me "Are those the new Nikes for dykes, the ones with extra long tongues that you can get off with one finger?"  He could read putts, I'll give him that.  Did an admirable job b of bumming our smokes  and drinking our beer, too. 

[Niall C]

Go native and don't use a caddy. The best caddy is the one left back at the clubhouse.

Rich

I used to think you liked me but now I realise it's just that you don't understand a word I say 

Niall

[Rich Goodale]

Go native and don't use a caddy. The best caddy is the one left back at the clubhouse.

Rich

I used to think you liked me but now I realise it's just that you don't understand a word I say 

Niall

You and Clyde are posh Scottish, and I managed my way without a translator in our first multiple encounter at Bonnyton.  As for the 2nd and recent encounter at East Renfrewshire, Josie was there to caddy and translate, and she threw me off after the first hole (which I won) by telling me to "Hit the f*****g ball, Honey!"


As for etiquette, in my latest golf game (Yesterday)  I not only put on my shoes in the car park but put them on backwards, which I only figured out on the 16th when I wondered why they were hurting me.


Senescence is GREAT!


Rich

[Michael Blake]

10.  If your caddie and/or playing partners are Scottish, just nod and smile when they same something to you that you do not have a clue as to what was said.

Lol. I’m doing this now, literally nodding  my head and smiling.


My mother-in-law’s relative from Scotland (Glengarnock) is visiting all of us (Philadelphia suburbs) for a ‘fortnight’ and I can only understand one word: ‘aye.’


I was told his name is John but it sounds like ‘Ian’ or ‘Jin’ when he pronounces it?


He looks great for 80 yrs old and says his secret is 5 cups of coffee and 5 cigarettes per day.

[Jeff Schley]

I love this thread!

It is good to see using some sarcasm for Scots is actually welcome by the board by almost everyone.   
Lord knows us Americans have to keep our sense of humor on here.

[Kalen Braley]

Jeff,


I just don't understand why the Scots can't speak plain English so we can understand them.  Seems like a simple request! 

[Marty Bonnar]

You boys might like this:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sAz_UvnUeuU


Uh-livin!
Cheers,
F.

[V_Halyard]

You stepped knee deep into the gorse with this crowd.

[Jeff Schley]

Jeff,


I just don't understand why the Scots can't speak plain English so we can understand them.  Seems like a simple request! 

Aye!

[Marty Bonnar]

Jeff,


I just don't understand why the Scots can't speak plain English so we can understand them.  Seems like a simple request! 

Aye!

But beware the Scottish double-positive, “Aye, right”, which in reality means “Naw”.
We’re complicated...
F.

[Mark_Rowlinson]

Try not to use the lob wedge. Pitch and run the shot with a six-iron.

[JJShanley]

Use the expression "Football's Coming Home" as often as possible.

[Kalen Braley]

Ask em if Scotland is actually sovereign or not!! 

[V_Halyard]

A few other ones:


1)  Be sure to wear your biggest fanny pack!
2)  Make sure your outfit is loud and full of logos.
3)  Insist on taking a cart.
4)  Be sure to take 15 minutes to get a bite at the turn.
5)  Double and triple check your yardage before every swing.
6)  Make sure the cell phone is turned up all the way, don't want to miss those calls from home checking up on you.

You're American, gawd damnit, be sure to act like one!!

Did I miss anything?

Bring a cooler of Budweiser. A mix of cans and bottles.

[Ira Fishman]

Off to Golspie tomorrow for first round of our trip. All of the “suggestions” are most appreciated. I have a color coded laminated card so that I can keep the most useful ones handy.


Ira

[David_Tepper]

Ira -

Two pieces of (hopefully) useful advice:

1) Do not take your eye off the ball till it stops rolling, especially given how dry it has been in Scotland and especially at a course like Dornoch. Just because your shot lands or rolls on to the green does not mean it will stay there.

2) If you are in the rough and think you can hit a 5-iron, hit a 7- or 8-iron instead. If you think you can hit a 5-wood, hit a 5- or 6-iron. There is a real premium for hitting a solid shot (which will roll a long way) and getting your ball back on the short grass.

Enjoy!

DT

[Jeff Schley]

After your caddie gives you a line on your putt, step back, pause, ....... then plum bob it and say, "are you sure?"

 

[V_Halyard]

After your caddie gives you a line on your putt, step back, pause, ....... then plum bob it and say, "are you sure?"

 

Yes, this absolutely. And make sure you have a friend pull out a phone and video the caddie’s grateful response. You’ll want to have it to show the grandkids.

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